


Something More

by SPowell



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Jealous!Arthur, M/M, Pining, Possessive!Arthur, Stalking, hairless cat, pining!arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-04 03:07:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 59,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPowell/pseuds/SPowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is fine in his relationship with Cenred. Until he meets Merlin, who is in a relationship with Will.</p><p>Disclaimer: I make no profit from this endeavor. The characters belong to BBC and Shine, along with legend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in the mood to write something about Arthur wanting Merlin, but Merlin is taken.

 

It’s a popular place in the gay community, and Arthur and Merlin come here often to run. Arthur enjoys the stress release it affords him, along with the time with Merlin, who has quickly become the best friend Arthur has. Arthur and Merlin sometimes have dinner afterwards at a restaurant down the street that serves Italian, depending on what Merlin’s plans are. Today, as they shower in the crowded locker room, Merlin announces that his partner, Will, is working late and he’s free if Arthur is.

“Like a bird,” Arthur answers with a casual tone to his voice that belies the arousal building in his loins. He towels himself off while trying to keep his eyes away from Merlin’s naked form standing in front of the mirror, a towel slung casually over his shoulder. There are plenty of harder, tanner bodies milling around them, but Arthur has developed an interest for pale skin and lean thighs in the past few months.

“And perhaps it’s time to do something about that,” Merlin says, running his fingers through his black hair, somehow making it look presentable. “You and Cenred broke up weeks ago.”

Arthur fervently wishes Merlin would put some clothes on. His eyeballs hurt from averting them, for Christ’s sake. He stares at himself in the mirror instead, combing blond hair from his aristocratic forehead.

“I don’t know, Merlin,” he answers.

“Will has a friend lined up for you,” Merlin replies, turning away to get his clothes and giving Arthur a stunning view of his arse. Arthur tightly closes his eyes and sighs.

***

At the restaurant, Arthur orders a salad and watches Merlin eat his vegetable soup while tapping out a text to Will with a small smile on his face. Arthur wants to take the phone away and make Merlin pay attention to him and only him.

Six months ago, things had been good. Arthur could have even said he’d been on top of the world. Arthur had gotten a promotion, Cenred had moved in, and sex had been frequent and satisfying. Then, on a run at the park, Arthur had met Merlin and everything had changed. Merlin’s engaging smile, twinkling blue eyes, and hearty laugh had wormed their way into Arthur’s life until he couldn’t imagine it without him. The two couples began doing things together—seeing plays, going out to eat, attending parties. And then Arthur and Merlin discovered a mutual love of books and began visiting book stores together in addition to their runs. But as Arthur and Merlin’s friendship grew, Cenred and Arthur’s relationship began to fall apart.

Merlin eventually entered every aspect of Arthur’s life, his name never far from Arthur’s mind. When Arthur said it while Cenred’s lips were wrapped around his cock, that had been it. Cenred had packed up his things and left. Arthur hadn’t even tried to stop him.

“Earth to Arthur,” Merlin calls to him, waving a hand with long, beautiful fingers in front of his face.

“Hm?” Arthur asks, snapping out of his thoughts. “Sorry, what?”

Merlin laughs. “What were you thinking about? You were miles away.”

“Oh,” Arthur clears his throat and tells the truth. “Cenred.”

A look of pity crosses Merlin’s face.

“You’re going out with us tomorrow night. Will’s friend is great, and you’re going to love him,” Merlin promises.

Arthur holds back the groan that wants to cross his lips.

***

It’s a Friday night, and Arthur has gone home to shower and change after work, so it’s almost nine PM by the time he enters the crowded bar. He almost immediately spots Merlin at the bar because these days he seems to have some sort of Merlin radar attached to him, and there’s Will planted against Merlin’s back like he’s glued there. It’s difficult to be too jealous when Arthur’s never known Merlin without a Will connected with him, but Arthur manages it because some part of him continues to tell him that Merlin belongs to _him_ , Arthur, and no other man should be touching him.

Now, if he could only convince Merlin of that.

Arthur straightens his shoulders and edges through the pulsing crowd of people, the air getting warmer and denser around him as he goes. Merlin spots him somehow, waving him over with a kind of flailing  motion that brings a small smile to Arthur’s face.

“What are you smiling at?” Merlin asks, when he gets close to him. “Are you teasing me?” He smacks Arthur’s arm.

Arthur shakes his head.

“You are, too. I can’t help it I’m built like a grasshopper.”

“I would say more like a praying mantis.” How can Arthur explain how endearing he finds Merlin’s long limbs? Endearing and utterly sexy? When they get to the bar, he shakes Will’s hand, trying not to notice the look the man gives him. He’s pretty sure Merlin’s boyfriend is very aware of Arthur’s feelings toward his lover and isn’t amused. He’s probably said as much to Merlin, and knowing Merlin as Arthur does, he’s brushed it off with a laugh and called it ridiculous. No wonder Will’s so hot to get Arthur fixed up with someone.

Suddenly remembering that that someone is the very reason Arthur is here, he looks around.

“Percy’s in the loo,” Merlin tells him. “Excited?”

“Sure,” Arthur nods.

Merlin leans in and whispers in Arthur’s ear. “You should be. He’s built like a brick wall.”

 Arthur shudders from Merlin’s proximity and the feel of his breath on his ear, but of course Merlin mistakes it for a shiver of anticipation and laughs, squeezing his waist. Will passes Arthur a beer across the bar.

“Cheers,” Arthur says a bit hoarsely and takes a drink. He regards Will’s roundish, face. He’s handsome in a rough way, with brown hair that falls into his eyes. Arthur tries hard not to picture him in bed with Merlin. A moment later  a very large man with very wide shoulders and arms like tree limbs joins them. Arthur finds himself engulfed in a hug, his nose smashed into a broad, muscular shoulder that smells spicy in a very nice way.

It’s impossible not to like Percy. He’s sweet and funny and has a wide smile and boyish enthusiasm. Will finds them all a table and conversation flows easily. Arthur resolutely keeps his gaze away from Will’s hand on Merlin’s shoulder and the way he occasionally rubs his nose along Merlin’s neck. It makes Arthur feel so many conflicting things at once---jealousy—need—arousal—he can’t stand it. Instead he concentrates on what Percy’s saying about footie, something Arthur knows quite a bit about, and the evening passes.

Percy kisses Arthur goodnight outside his flat and tells him he would like to see him again. Arthur finds himself saying that would be nice.

***

“So you liked Percy?” Merlin asks during their next run two days later.

“Yeah, he was very pleasant,” Arthur answers. “We’re going out again tonight.”

“Terrific!” Merlin enthuses. “But…pleasant? Really? What about hot? Did you see those arms?”

Well, what did he really expect? Arthur muses as large flakes of snow begin to fall. Jealousy? It’s clear Merlin doesn’t feel for Arthur in the way Arthur feels for him. He’s known that all along. He needs to realize that if he wants to keep Merlin’s friendship, he has to give up these thoughts of having more with Merlin.

“What’s wrong, Arthur?” Merlin asks between pants as they round a corner, passing several other runners going the other way. “If you don’t fancy Percy, there’s plenty of other fish in the sea, as they say.”

Arthur glances over at him. “No, Percy’s great. I’m fine.” The sound of their feet hitting the pavement punctuates the movement of their limbs. The smoke of their breath hangs in the air, mixing with the now fast-falling snow.

“You don’t seem fine. Just give Percy a chance. He’s a great bloke, and you may really get on with him.”

“You just want everyone to have what you do,” Arthur says before he can stop himself. God, the last thing he wants is for Merlin to expound on what he and Will have together.

He needn’t have worried; Merlin just chuckles softly. “I want you to be happy.”

“I’m okay. Stop worrying.” With a sudden burst of speed, Arthur shoots forward and Merlin follows, soon passing him and turning their run into a race.

 

 


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, heck. Poor Arthur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wondering if this scenario appeals to anyone?

 

Arthur is working late when he receives a text message.

_Saw you and Percy last night outside the theater. Looking so good together!_

Arthur’s heart rate picks up at the thought that Merlin had been nearby. He pecks out a reply.

_Why didn’t you say hello?_

He presses send and finishes what he was doing. His iPhone beeps.

_Was with Will on our way inside. No time. You two need to come to ours. Going to run tonight?_

Arthur winces—he’s been avoiding going to Merlin’s flat. He doesn’t want to see where he lives with Will. He doesn’t want to see their things together—their bedroom.

_Yes. I’ll see you there._

***

Arthur has lunch the following day with an old friend from uni. Gwen is like a sister to him, and she was the first person he told he was gay. She’s married now with two children, and he hardly ever sees her, but when they get together to catch up, they really catch up. Arthur has taken a long lunch for this purpose, and Gwen has spent the first half telling Arthur all about her life with Lance and their twins. She’s just managed to pull the whole Merlin story out of Arthur.

“I think you should tell him,” Gwen says, sipping her coffee and taking a bite of the slice of cheese cake they are sharing.

“I can’t do that,” Arthur says. “Then I won’t even have him as a friend.”

“Can you stand being only his friend? You don’t even want to go to his flat,” Gwen pointed out. “What kind of friendship are you going to have?”

Arthur knows Gwen is right. On their run the evening before, Merlin had pushed for Arthur and Percy to come over, and Arthur had made excuses as he always did.

“It isn’t that simple. I can’t not have him in my life!”

Arthur puts his fork down and sits back. Gwen regards him with soft brown eyes. “If you can’t come out and tell him directly, maybe you can drop a few hints?” she suggests.

Arthur looks down at his lap. “Sometimes I can’t believe he doesn’t know how I feel about him. Will knows; I’m sure of that. Cenred sure knew. Pretty soon Percy’s going to figure it out. ”

“Oh, Arthur,” Gwen sighs, and Arthur looks across the table at her.

“They’ve been together two years, Gwen.  This is a lost cause.”

“I’m really sorry.” Gwen gives Arthur a small, sad smile.

***

It was bound to happen sooner or later--something comes up that Arthur can’t get out of.  Merlin plans a birthday party for Will at their flat, and Arthur and Percy are invited. Not only does Arthur have to be there, but he has to bring a gift for Will. He gets Percy to pick it out, not having ever paid any attention to Will’s likes and dislikes.

The flat is open and airy and so, so Merlin. It makes Arthur’s heart hurt. Merlin is bouncy and happy and his arm stays around Will’s waist for most of the night. Many of their friends are there, some of whom Arthur has met--Gwaine and Elena, Freya, Gilly. There are also a few people from their hometown of Ealdor whom Arthur doesn’t know. There’s music and a lot of food. It’s snowing outside, and Arthur stands at the window and looks out, wishing he lived there with Merlin in the cozy flat. His own flat is disturbingly austere; the only real signs of humanity in it the things Percy has left here and there. Percy has not moved in, and he never will. It’s only a matter of time before Percy ends things, Arthur is sure. At that moment, Arthur feels more lonely than he has in his entire life.

He feels an arm come around him, but it isn’t the arm he wants it to be. Percy kisses his temple.

“Feeling okay?” he asks Arthur.

“A little under the weather,” Arthur answers.

“Want to go home? I’d say we’ve been here long enough for propriety’s sake.”

Arthur suddenly feels very grateful to the big man who has only ever been kind and considerate to him. He looks at Percy and nods. Percy places a finger under Arthur’s chin and kisses him softly, and Arthur opens up to him. When he turns, Merlin’s eyes are on him. Merlin blinks, then smiles. Arthur’s stomach hurts, but he smiles back. He and Percy make their excuses, wishing Will a happy birthday. To Arthur’s eyes, Will does not appear unhappy that Arthur is leaving early.

Back at Arthur’s place, Arthur looks around at the clean lines and empty spaces of his life and sighs. When Percy kisses him again, he lets him, giving himself over, permitting the big man to undress him and lead him into the bedroom where the bed takes up much of the room.

Moonlight washes over them as Arthur allows Percy to open him up. He closes his eyes and sees bright blue eyes and an impossible grin as he feels himself entered. He groans, biting back the name he wants to moan as the fucking begins.

Arthur pictures Merlin as Percy rhythmically grounds Arthur into the mattress. It’s wrong to be with one man while longing for another, Arthur knows, but he’s going to be selfish. He pictures Merlin making love to him and moans loudly, spurring the man behind him into a frenzy of thrusting until Arthur is sore with it. He reaches between his body and the mattress and pulls at himself, jacking off onto the bed as Percy gives a final twist of his hips, pulls out and splashes his release all over Arthur’s backside, his cum warm on Arthur’s skin.

They clean up and Percy kisses Arthur’s head.

“You want me to go,” Percy says, and it’s a statement, not a question. Arthur looks up at him sadly. He nods.

Percy wipes Arthur’s sweaty hair from his face. He looks as if he wants to say something but changes his mind. Arthur watches him dress, hears him packing up a few things. He leaves without another word.

The flat is silent, still, and dark.

Arthur has never felt so alone.

 


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holidays are hard for a lot of people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the kudos and especially the comments. When I write a WIP, sometimes the whole thing will sway due to the comments from my readers. It's interesting to see what each of you get out of it. It causes me to re-read what I've written with new eyes. Thank you! I enjoy having you as part of the process, which is why I occasionally like to write this way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“But I thought you and Percy were so happy!” Merlin exclaims a week later when he and Arthur have finished their run and Arthur is trying to wash his hair in the locker room shower. Merlin keeps appearing in his stall, which is distracting, to say the least.

“And why didn’t you tell me immediately when you broke up?”

“Merlin, do you mind?” Arthur asks, yanking the shower curtain closed.

“You aren’t answering my questions,” Merlin says, sticking his head back in.

Arthur huffs before giving up. If Merlin wants to see him naked, then _fine_! He begins soaping himself up.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d make a huge deal out of it. Like you are now. It just wasn’t working, Merlin. We broke up the night of Will’s party.”

“But I saw you kiss that night,” Merlin pouts. _Pouts!_ But at least he’s backing out of the shower now, and Arthur can quit worrying about popping a boner in front of him.

When Arthur is dressed and joins Merlin in the lobby, Merlin seems to have accepted things and is already plotting to get Arthur with someone else.

Arthur ignores him as best he can. He’s pretty much decided he’s going to try Gwen’s advice. He simply can’t go on this way—he’s going to have to take a chance and let Merlin know how he feels, even if it means losing Merlin as a friend. But he’s going to have to do it the coward’s way—by dropping subtle hints—instead of coming right out and telling him, because when it comes to Merlin, he is a coward, dammit.

He begins by putting a hand to the small of Merlin’s back as they leave the gym, something that he wouldn’t normally do. If Merlin notices, he doesn’t let on, but when they get outside, Arthur notices Merlin’s cheeks are red. That could be attributed to the frigid weather, however. Emboldened, Arthur continues to touch Merlin as often as possible without actually crossing a line.

At the restaurant, Arthur leans over Merlin to get the salt, actually allowing himself to smell Merlin’s hair as he does so. Arthur thinks he’s going to cum in his pants when he does this, it’s such a culmination of his daydreams. Merlin turns his head a bit.

“Are you sniffing my hair?” he asks, amused.

 _Well, shit._ “Uh, yeah.” Arthur thinks perhaps Merlin will now get a clue, and maybe it’s for the best anyway.

“Smell good? It’s the gym’s shampoo.”

 _Good God_ , Merlin is so oblivious. “Yeah, it does.” Arthur swallows, sitting back. “Really good.”

Merlin leans in to smell Arthur’s hair, and Arthur wants to grab him. His fingers twitch.

Merlin’s phone buzzes, and Merlin checks it, never to know how narrowly he’s avoided being molested in the restaurant booth. “Will says he’s going to fix you up with his friend Ranulf.”

“No, Merlin,” Arthur says emphatically, shifting so that his burgeoning erection has room to grow in his pants. “I don’t want to be fixed up with anyone.”

Merlin looks up. “We just want you to be happy, Arthur!”

Arthur shakes his head, knowing Will only wants to get Arthur laid and away from Merlin. “No more of this, Merlin. Let me take care of my own love life.”

Merlin reluctantly agrees.

***

Arthur manages to get through the holidays, although it isn’t easy. When he’s with Merlin, he continues to flirt, and sometimes he thinks Merlin is flirting back. But then Arthur sees him with Will, and it’s painfully obvious that things are still good between them. When Merlin invites Arthur over for their annual Christmas party, Arthur finds that he just can’t do it.

“I’m going to visit my father,” he lies, getting ready to begin their run.

“Really?” Merlin asks. “I thought you and your dad don’t get on.”

“We don’t,” Arthur hedges, stretching his leg muscles and keeping his head down. “But it’s Christmas, after all.”

“You said your sister’s not coming home from France.”

“She’s not.”

“Arthur.”

Arthur speeds up just a bit so that Merlin has to do so, too. He bites the inside of his lip. It’s all he can do not to round on Merlin and yell at him. Ask him just exactly why he cares so much, since it’s clear that he has everything he wants in his life. But he can’t do that to Merlin. He doesn’t want to hurt his friend like that.

So he gets through the run and Merlin’s interrogation, he gets through Christmas—not by visiting his father, but by spending the holidays holed up in his flat with nothing but the television for company—only to find himself at a New Year’s party at The Dragon’s Breath, Merlin and Will’s favorite pub, because he was careless enough to say he’d be back in town three days after Christmas.

To Arthur’s chagrin, Percy is present. Arthur still feels badly about Percy. He truly likes him. He’s a good person and deserves someone good in return. Arthur tells him this after he’s consumed his third whiskey.

“You _are_ a good person, Arthur,” Percy tells him sincerely. “But you don’t have those kinds of feelings for me, and I understand. You can’t make a person feel like that.”

Arthur feels as though he’s been kicked in the gut, because he knows that first hand. To his horror, he feels tears burning his eyes. Traitorous eyes that automatically seek out the object of their desire. They find him across the room, arms wrapped around Will, snogging. This is the closest Arthur has ever seen the two, their bodies pressed together front to front, and it sends such a jolt of pain through him, he thinks he’s going to be ill.

“Are you all right?” Percy says, taking Arthur’s hand.

“I need some air,” Arthur manages to say, and rises a bit unsteadily. Thankfully he can blame it on drink, although he hasn’t consumed that much. Percy takes him by the arm and leads him outside where the frigid air braces him.

“Maybe you should just tell him, mate,” Percy says softly as they lean against the cold brick of the building.

Arthur’s head snaps toward Percy. _Of course he’s figured it out._

“I can’t.” Arthur shakes his head and continues shaking it as Percy talks.

“He and Will have been together a long time, but that doesn’t mean they’re married,” Percy says.

“Two years!” Arthur moans.

“Actually, longer than that.”

Arthur’s eyes widen in horror. “What?”

“They’ve known each other all their lives. I went to school with Will. He and Merlin have been on again off again since they were adolescents. They’ve lived together two years.”

“Oh, God.” Arthur’s stomach hurts.

“But, Arthur…” Percy touches his arm and it helps, it really does. Arthur feels a bit stronger. A bit better. “Will is literally all Merlin knows. I mean, he’s had a fling here and there when he and Will were on breaks, but…” Percy shakes his head. “Shit, I feel like such a heel saying this. I’m Will’s friend, after all. I mean, they’re happy. They are. Who am I to say?” Percy’s eyes are so sincere boring into Arthur’s. “I just hate seeing you so miserable. You seem to truly care for him. He deserves to know it, that’s all.”

Inside, people start counting down to the new year. When shouts erupt, Percy leans in and gives Arthur a chaste kiss on the mouth.

“Happy New Year, Arthur. Make the most of it, yeah?”

 

 


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a new year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm enjoying your comments so much. It's interesting to read your different takes on the situation. Thanks for the kudos, too!

 

 

 

 

It’s all Arthur can think about.

What Percy said. All of it. Telling Merlin, yeah, that, but also making the most of the new year. What’s he been doing with his life? How long has it been since he even thought of making some kind of resolution?

Arthur calls Gwen and invites her for the weekend.

That evening on their run, Merlin chatters about how Will is going to some concert Merlin has no desire to go to.

“What are you up to this weekend?” Merlin asks Arthur. It’s snowing again. The white flakes look like frosting on top of Merlin’s ebony hair.

“Gwen is coming to visit. She’s my friend from uni, remember? You can come by if you want.”

“Text me if you want me to Saturday,” Merlin says.

They keep running.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Merlin says after a while. “Kind of private.”

“Of course.” Arthur’s just hit his stride where his muscles no longer burn and it feels like he could keep running forever. He almost trips when Merlin’s next words sink in.

“Do you…does it feel good when you get fucked?”

When Arthur looks at Merlin, words start pouring out of his mouth so quickly, it’s difficult for Arthur to keep up. “I mean, I don’t even know if you bottom…oh, shit, maybe I shouldn’t have even asked. I don’t know if blokes even talk about these kinds of things, only we’re mates and all, and I don’t have anyone else to ask-- it’d be weird asking Will since---oh, God, nevermind.” Merlin speeds up.

Arthur runs to catch up with him, reaching out to touch his arm. “Hold up, it’s okay, Merlin, you just caught me off guard.”

They keep going, not looking at one another. Arthur tries hard to be calm and keep his feelings for Merlin out of it. He has no idea why Merlin is asking this and knows this isn’t the time to dissect it. “Um, first off, I don’t mind your asking, and yeah we’re mates, and I am totally the one to go to.” He swallows, relieved to see out of the corner of his eye that Merlin appears to be relaxing a bit. They round a corner. Some runners come around them, and they let them move ahead, Arthur waiting until they are way up the path before continuing.

“I do sometimes bottom. It depends on my mood and my partner. I’ve had partners who never liked to bottom, but I don’t have a problem with it.”

Arthur can see Merlin glancing at him shyly and turns to give him an open look. “Ask me anything you like, Merlin. You can’t embarrass me.” This isn’t necessarily true, but Arthur really wants to be there for Merlin.

Merlin bites him lip. It helps that they’re running, Arthur knows. If they were sitting across from each other with nothing to do with their limbs, this would be excruciating for so many reasons.

“Why do you suppose some men always want to top?” Merlin finally asks.

Arthur breathes in through his nose, considering. “I don’t know…maybe because they have an ego problem with being on the bottom? I’m not sure. Makes them feel like the inferior one? The girl?”

Merlin seems uncomfortable, but Arthur doesn’t want to push. He’s wondering now if Will insists on topping in their relationship, which would make Merlin ‘the girl.’ He really doesn’t want to imagine Will and Merlin in bed. Arthur thinks back to the original question.

“You asked me if it feels good when I get fucked. The answer is, most of the time, yeah, it does. It can feel really, really good if everything is done right.”

Merlin is blinking rapidly now and looking away, and _shit, is he crying?_ Arthur doesn’t know what to do. He just keeps running, because stopping in the middle of the path and taking Merlin in his arms seems out of the question.

“Look, if you ever want to really talk about this in depth, Merlin, I’m here for you. Please don’t worry about it. Okay?”

After a moment, Merlin gives him a smile. His eyes are wet, and Arthur ignores it, letting Merlin think Arthur attributes it to the cold wind. He changes the subject and pretty soon they’re laughing and cutting up about something dumb just like always.

***

Gwen arrives late because she’s had to get her little family situated after work and make sure they have everything they need for the weekend.

“Why haven’t we ever done this before?” she asks, barefoot and holding a glass of wine. “I love spending time with my gay bestie.”

“I don’t know,” Arthur says. “I assume it’s my fault.”

Gwen makes a derisive noise. “Why yours? It’s equally mine.”

Arthur sighs. “Most things are my fault. This is part of my New Year’s Resolution—Clean Up Arthur’s Life. A good friend gave me some advice, and I’m following it.”

Gwen looks around the flat. “Is that why the place feels different?”

Arthur smiles and settles back into the sofa, taking one of Gwen’s bare feet into his lap and massaging it. “How is it different?”

“Mmm…that feels good.” Gwen sighs. She swallows the rest of her wine and settles into the pillows. “Well, for one thing, these pillows. They used to be some bland color, didn’t they? Sand, maybe? Now they’re these lovely jewel tones. And they’re larger and softer. And this crimson throw…” she indicates the soft afghan on the back of the sofa.

Arthur kneads the arch of her foot. “Getting warm.”

“New painting?” Gwen points over the couch to the colorful art, and Arthur nods, pleased.

“Lots of books on the shelf. Didn’t you used to have some kind of art deco there?” She wrinkles her nose. “Something ugly Uther gave you?”

Arthur laughs. “Yeah. So, I’ve redecorated. Tried to really put myself into the flat.”

“It’s wonderful!” Gwen smiles. “I noticed it right away, but it’s been a couple of years since I’ve been here, and I thought maybe the first time you just hadn’t unpacked all the way.”

“No, I lived like that,” Arthur admits ruefully.

Gwen’s phone trills and she picks it up, peering at the screen. “Lance wants to know if you’re seducing me.” She types in a response. “I told him yes, by massaging my feet.”

Arthur has switched to the other foot, and goes at it with more vigor, twitching his eyebrows in a sinister manner. Gwen’s phone rings, and she answers it with a prolonged groan.

“Lance, if you would bother to massage my feet, you would get the same response,” she giggles. “No, I assure you Arthur has not switched teams. If I’m lucky, perhaps I can get him to have some gay sex in front of me—you know how that turns me on. Sure, I’ll call you if it happens.” She hangs up. “Lance says hi.”

Arthur smirks. “You know if I had a bloke over and we got nasty, you’d run for the hills.”

“Probably,” Gwen sighs. “But it’s fun to dream about it.”

“God, Gwen, tell me I’m not part of your wank fantasies.”

“Sorry,” Gwen swings her feet off Arthur’s lap and stands, “but I can’t tell you that, Arthur. Sometimes you just add that extra umph I need.” She smiles at the look on Arthur’s face. “I’m going for a shower.”

***

The following morning Arthur and Gwen go out to breakfast and then shop, finding some things to add to Arthur’s bedroom, such as a downy duvet in multiple colors and a soft, sheep skin rug to put in front of the gas fireplace.

“Have you ever had sex in front of this fireplace?” Gwen asks him that afternoon as they put the rug in place.

“Actually, no,” Arthur answers.

“Well, you totally should now. On this rug.”

“God, Gwen.” Arthur shakes his head.

“What do you want to do? Shall I make lasagna?” Gwen asks with a tilt of her head. “Are you going to invite Merlin?”

“Sure. You still want to meet him?” Arthur asks.

“Definitely! I’m dying to, you know that!” Gwen heads for the kitchen, and Arthur texts Merlin to come on over.

Gwen and Arthur have spoken at length about Merlin, and Arthur has told her how he’s been dropping small hints. He’s told her everything, really, including what Percy has said. The only thing he hasn’t told her is Merlin’s question about sex because Arthur feels that’s a private matter that he isn’t free to discuss. Gwen has reserved further comment on what Arthur should do until she meets Merlin.

Arthur is glad that Merlin’s first glimpse of his flat is now, when it looks like a human lives there and not some kind of a robot.

“Wow, Arthur, finally I get invited to yours! I feel honored!” Merlin jokes as he hangs up his coat on the rack and glances around. “Maybe it was because you didn’t want me to know you’re rich?”

Arthur finds himself actually blushing, not knowing what to say.

“Arthur’s just socially stunted,” Gwen rescues him, if you can call it that. She gives Merlin a hug. “I’m Gwen, and I hope you don’t mind that I’m a hugger.”

“Not at all, I’m one too,” Merlin hugs back.

“And don’t you find it odd that Arthur’s friends are all huggers?” Gwen asks. “Doesn’t that say a bit about him?”

“All right, you two stop discussing me,” Arthur says irritably. “Merlin, come on in and stop standing in the hall like a servant.”

They walk into the living area with its gorgeous view of downtown London, and Arthur is both proud and nervous all at once, waiting for Merlin’s opinion.

“Gosh, Arthur, this is so nice. You live here all alone?”

“These days, yes,” Arthur says.

“Sorry,” Merlin looks abashed, probably thinking he’s reminded Arthur of his painful breakup with Cenred, which actually wasn’t painful at all.

“Nonsense, I like living alone,” Arthur tells him. Gwen rolls her eyes.

“I’ve made lasagna, Merlin, I hope you like it,” she says.

“Love it!” Merlin enthuses. They get plates and heap them with food, seating themselves on the floor around the coffee table even though Arthur has a posh dining room.

“I’m thinking of getting a dog,” Arthur says part-way through the meal. Gwen almost chokes on her salad.

“What? You?”

Arthur looks affronted. “I can have a dog!”

Merlin raises a brow. “Unlikely?” he asks Gwen.

“I just think that dog hair and Arthur don’t mix.”

“I plan to research dogs that don’t shed much.”

“Perhaps you should get one of those hairless cats,” Merlin says, smiling cheekily.

“That’s a thought!” Arthur points his fork at him.

“Why do you want a pet at all?” Gwen asks, and Arthur shrugs.

“Company,” he says, biting into his bread. A pet is another one of his resolutions. He’s tired of being all alone, even though he just told Merlin he liked to live alone. He wants something to love that will love him back unconditionally. _Jesus, how pathetic am I?_ He thinks. Merlin is watching him, hopefully not reading his mind.

“Tell me about yourself, Merlin,” Gwen says, her face interested.

“I’m from Ealdor, a small town about a hundred miles east of here,” Merlin answers, wiping his sauce up with a piece of bread. “I’ve lived in London about five years. I’m a systems analyst with a small company. I live with my boyfriend, Will, in a flat about half this size,” he gives Arthur an accusatory look. “I like to run, which is where I met Arthur.” He licks crumbs off his lips, and Arthur stares at their fullness a bit too long as he is wont to do. “I’m an avid reader, something else I share with Arthur.” He grins, and Arthur feels his heart speed up. Merlin shrugs. “I can’t think of anything else. What about you?”

Gwen tells him about herself and Lance and their kids. Arthur listens with half an ear, watching Merlin’s hands that, now that he’s finished eating, are twisting in his lap. Arthur begins to wonder if something is bothering Merlin. He seems a little jumpy, but Merlin is jumpy on the best of days. He meets Gwen’s eyes and a message passes between them.

“If you two will excuse me, I need to call home and make sure nothing awful is happening.” She pushes up from the floor and heads for the guest room. The door shuts.

“She’s really nice,” Merlin comments.

“A good friend all around,” Arthur agrees. “I can tell she likes you.”

Merlin smiles.

“Are you okay, Merlin?”

Merlin meets Arthur’s gaze. Blinks. “Why do you ask?”

“Your hands.” Arthur gestures to where Merlin is still twisting his fingers. Merlin immediately stills them.

“Oh.” He swallows. “I guess something’s bugging me, yeah. But nothing you can help me with. Not now, anyway.” His eyes move toward the door where Gwen has sequestered herself for the duration of her phone call.

“It’s a private matter, then? The one you brought up yesterday?” Arthur asks softly, his heart hammering in his chest.

Merlin nods.

Arthur gets up from the floor, picking up their plates. “I’m happy to talk to you about it any time, Merlin. Gwen’s leaving in the morning. You can come back over if you want.”

Merlin stands and helps him clean up. “If you’re sure it’s okay, I’d really appreciate it.” Their shoulders brush on the way to the kitchen, and Arthur feels warm inside.

The rest of the evening they watch movies and play board games. Gwen is extremely competitive at Monopoly and meets her match in Merlin. Arthur falls asleep, awakening some time later to find they’ve robbed his bank, bought up all the real estate, and called a draw. Gwen is tipsy and putting mascara on Merlin, who patiently stares at the ceiling while she does so.

“Isn’t he pretty, Arthur?” Gwen asks.

“Very,” Arthur agrees, smiling at Merlin. Merlin smiles back, reaching over to tweak Arthur’s nose.

“Take the couch, Merlin, you’ve had too much to drink,” Arthur says, pulling himself up and heading for the bedroom.

That’s how it comes that the next day when Gwen heads home, Merlin is still at Arthur’s flat.


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you were mine to love...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some relationships are built on comfort, I think.

 

 

 

 

Arthur suggests they go for a run after breakfast. They take three turns around the park, pushing hard on the final lap. When they’ve finished, they’re both soaked in sweat in spite of the cold, and they find a bench to rest on and drink their water.

After a few minutes, Merlin clears his throat. “This is kind of embarrassing.”

“You want me to say something first?” Arthur asks. “Break the ice?”

Merlin looks at him. “Okay.”

“Well,” Arthur leans his head back, looking up into the tree branches overhead. “My first time was with this guy named Val. He was on my footie team at school and took me behind the bleachers. I was so hot for him, but I hadn’t come out to anybody yet. In fact, I was dating this girl named Vivian at the time.”

Merlin raises a brow. “So Val knew you liked him?”

“I guess so. I probably stared at him a lot. I was two years younger than he was and had a real hero worship thing going on. Man,” Arthur shakes his head. “He was so hot. Rippling abs…” he licks his lips, glances at Merlin. “This is a little humiliating. Val wanted me to suck him off. I wanted to. Couldn’t wait. I got on my knees…got his cock out.”

Just remembering sends a shiver up Arthur’s spine. Merlin’s eyes are pinned on him. “It was the first time I’d ever…it was so good.” Arthur colors. “I still remember the feel of it. I came in my pants then and there.”

Merlin smiles. It’s a soft, sweet smile, not an amused smile. “He didn’t make fun of you, did he?”

Arthur thinks. Shakes his head. “No. I think he thought it was hot. I guess I would, too. Some young guy coming all over himself with your dick in his mouth. Kind of sexy, huh?”

Merlin nods, his eyes darkening. He swallows hard. Now that Arthur’s broached the topic, Merlin seems to find the words he needs.

“It feels kind of like betraying Will talking about it, you know? But I need to.”

Arthur puts his hand over Merlin’s where it rests on the cold wood of the bench. “You need somebody. I can be that somebody.” Arthur means it. Right then, he doesn’t want to burden Merlin with his feelings. He wants to be there for him.

“Yeah,” Merlin nods. “Okay. Well, Will and I have known each other for a long time. Since we were kids, actually. We experimented on each other. He was always the instigator. Always the one who was eager to try things. He was the first to buy porn magazines and show them to me, the first to find out how to do stuff. He was the first to put his mouth on me.” Merlin presses his lips together and looks far off, past the edge of the park to the streets beyond. “Sometimes I got tired of being told what to do and we wouldn’t see each other for months, but we always found our way back to one another. Will’s had it rough, and I understand him. And he’s been there for me during my toughest times.”

He pulls his eyes back to Arthur, who studies his face. The high cheekbones and full lips. The dark lashes that still have the slightest hint of mascara on them that didn’t get washed off that morning.

“What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that we’ve always had each other. But as far as sex goes, I’ve only had it with Will, and I’ve only bottomed. But when…” Merlin looks away, over Arthur’s shoulder. “When he’s inside me, I don’t really…enjoy it. Will doesn’t know it. I’ve never told him.”

Arthur wonders how Will couldn’t know. He realizes he’s frowning and wipes the look from his face before Merlin sees it. “Are you saying you…fake it?” he ventures.

“I guess,” Merlin says. “I mean, obviously, if Will gives me a blow job, he knows I come, because he sees it when he pulls off. But sometimes it takes me a long time to get there.”

Arthur nods. “Does he ever swallow it?”

Merlin shakes his head. “He doesn’t like to.”

As Merlin studies his water bottle, Arthur thinks about how he’d love to swallow Merlin’s cum. Hell, he’d love to bathe in it, but that’s really neither here nor there.

“Anyway,” Merlin continues, “when Will fucks me, I usually just act like I enjoy it and don’t need to come again—because he’s already sucked me. I just wondered if maybe I’m not supposed to enjoy it, you know? Elena once told me that Gwaine likes to do it that way sometimes, and she doesn’t really get anything out of it. And I wonder if maybe that’s why Will’s never interested in bottoming.”

Arthur can’t believe that Merlin doesn’t know this. That he’s been in a relationship this long and doesn’t know it. “Do you and Will do it that way often?” he asks.

“Not really. And it’s usually pretty quick,” Merlin answers.

Arthur simply can’t fucking believe it. He schools his features. “All I can tell you, Merlin, is that yes, there is a lot you’re missing. Will should be taking his time with you and making sure he’s hitting your prostate gland, which is up behind your nuts, when he fucks you. It feels awesome. He should be stroking you during sex, too.” Arthur wants to say more—like that Will sounds like he’s a pants lover—but he refrains.

He’s also wondering things like if Merlin and Will are so close, how is it they haven’t talked any of this out? Why is Will so quick in bed, and why hasn’t Merlin demanded to top or to get a little satisfaction out of sex? He thinks of how Merlin acted the evening before, and asks, “Merlin, what else is bothering you?”

Merlin sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m wondering if Will’s cheating on me.”

This is the last straw. Arthur jumps up from the bench so fast, Merlin’s mouth falls open.

“That little fuck had better not be cheating on you, or I’m going to rip his balls right off his body!” Arthur yells, spittle flying from his mouth like a rabid dog. Several heads turn toward them in the park. Merlin slowly stands.

“Arthur, it’s okay.” Merlin’s hand is on Arthur’s arm. Arthur realizes two things: his heart is pounding so hard, he can hear it outside his head, or so it seems, anyway; and he’s shaking from head to toe. _Fucking wanker, taking for granted what Arthur would give anything to have!_

They begin to walk toward Arthur’s apartment building.

“How is it you’re so calm and I’m a wreck?” Arthur asks after a moment, his voice hoarse.

“I’ve had some time to get used to the idea,” Merlin answers.

“How much time?”

“Depends on how you look at it, but I’ve had the suspicion for a few days that this isn’t a business trip he’s on.”

They reach Arthur’s building and take the lift up. Arthur offers Merlin the shower first while he tries to wrap his mind around everything he’s learned in the past hour. In the park, he’d about decided to give up on the idea of telling Merlin about his feelings. Now, after finding out that Will can’t be bothered to slow down long enough to find out if he’s pleasing Merlin in bed and that he might be cheating on him to boot, Arthur is beginning to rethink things.

Merlin has borrowed some of Arthur’s running clothes, and when he comes out of the shower, he heads for the guest room to change into what he’d worn the day before. Arthur gets into the shower, trying not to think about a naked Merlin having been in it only moments before. When Arthur turns the water off moments later, he hears Merlin’s voice raised in anger. Grabbing a towel, Arthur runs out of the bathroom to find Merlin snapping his mobile shut, his face a blank mask.

“Merlin?” Arthur asks.

Merlin turns to him. “That was Will. He’s angry that I stayed here last night.”

Arthur tucks the towel around his waist. “Why? It isn’t a big deal.”

Merlin avoids Arthur’s gaze. “He has this crazy idea that you…have a thing for me. It’s stupid.”

Arthur doesn’t say anything, but his heart has started hammering again.

Merlin’s eyes finally meet his. “He’s always going on about it. How you’re crazy about me. How that’s why you don’t want to be with other men. It’s so stupid, isn’t it?”

Silence, because now that the time’s come, Arthur really isn’t sure what to say.

“Isn’t it, Arthur. Arthur?”

Arthur stares at Merlin. He opens his mouth. He has to answer.

_Answer, Arthur, you dope. Answer him. He’s waiting. Answer him!_

Arthur wets his lips. “You’ve…got the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Merlin blinks.

“Merlin.” Arthur balls his fists by his sides. “God dammit, yes! Yes, I have a ‘thing’ for you! I’ve stood by and wished I could be with you all this time. I’ve been your friend, but I’ve wanted to be so much more, and now I find out that fucker isn’t even treating you like you should be treated! Fuck, Merlin! Just, _fuck_.” The words, when they come out, are like a tidal wave, and they leave Arthur breathless. Merlin simply stares.

“I—I never. I didn’t think…I told him he was crazy. More than once, I told him that.”

Arthur shakes his head. “I knew he knew. But I couldn’t tell you. I knew you didn’t feel that way for me, and I’d rather keep you as a friend than lose you completely.”

“Can you do that? Keep me as a friend?”

“If that’s all you can give me, yeah. I think so.” Arthur’s heart is burning in his chest. It _hurts._

“I have to get home,” Merlin says. He makes to walk past Arthur. Arthur stands stiff as a board. His body betrays him and sways slightly toward Merlin as he walks past, and Arthur breathes him in as Merlin pauses at the door.

“I would appreciate you,” Arthur whispers to him just inches from Merlin’s ear. “All of you. Believe it.”

Then Merlin is gone, and Arthur is once again alone.

 

 

 


	6. chapter 6

Arthur doesn’t hear from Merlin all the next day. He finds himself sitting at his desk, staring at his mobile, thinking about texting Merlin more than once. But what could he possibly say? _Choose me_ comes to mind, but that’s ridiculous. Merlin isn’t going to do any choosing. But if Arthur is lucky, Merlin will keep him as a friend, and that’s what he’s waiting to hear.

Another day goes by. Someone moves into the empty flat next to Arthur’s. Rather than be a recluse as he normally is, Arthur remembers Percy’s words. He grabs a coffee cake and knocks at the new neighbor’s door. A tall man with a scruffy beard and warm smile opens it. “Hi,” he says, looking Arthur over. Arthur realizes too late that he’s in his pyjama bottoms and T-shirt.

“Hello, I’m Arthur,” Arthur hands the guy the coffee cake. He’s uncomfortable putting himself out like this. “I live next door. Er, welcome to the building.”

“Thanks, mate. I’m Leon,” the man opens the door wider and invites him in. Leon’s flat is similar to Arthur’s. Artur learns Leon's an accountant and plays the guitar, and Arthur ends up helping him to assemble his bed, which the movers have just thrown in a pile in the bedroom.

Afterwards, they head for the coffee cake. It turns out Leon works in the offices adjacent to Arthur’s building, and they agree to car pool. They hear a knocking in the hall just as Arthur’s wiping crumbs off his pants, and Leon’s washing out the tea cups.

“I think that’s someone at my door.” Arthur goes to investigate, Leon following.

When Arthur sees the girl in the hall, he recognizes her immediately. “Freya, right? Merlin’s friend.”

“Yeah,” Freya smiles. “I don’t know anything more than that I’m supposed to deliver this to you.” She indicates a box and a bag by the door and hands Arthur a letter. A chill runs down Arthur’s spine as he watches Freya disappear into the lift.

“Mysterious,” Leon says. Seeing the expression on Arthur’s face, he puts a hand on his shoulder. “What’s the matter? You aren’t expecting a bomb or something, are you?”

Just then, the box makes a noise and moves, and both men jump.

“Mind if I have a look?” Leon asks, eyebrow raised. When Arthur shakes his head, Leon squats down and opens the folded lid.

“Oh, my God, you do have an enemy. Someone sent you one of those naked cats!”

Arthur releases the breath he’d been holding and opens the letter.

_Arthur,_

_Will and I are working on some things, and while we do I think it’s better that you and I don’t communicate much, although I’m still going to run with you. Will knows I won’t bend on this. I’ve sent you a present to keep you company in my absence._

_Love,_

_Merlin._

Leon has taken the cat out of the box and is stroking its pink, bald skin. “It’s a boy.” He grins.

Arthur leans forward and pets the cat’s head. “Reminds me of Yoda in _Star Wars_ ,” he says. “I think that’s what I’ll name him.”

They take the stuff inside. The bag contains a litter box, litter, food, and a dish.

“So, who sent you a cat?” Leon asks.

“A good friend,” Arthur smiles, holding Yoda on his lap. The cat is surprisingly cuddly, despite his lack of fur. He burrows under Arthur’s arm and purrs.

After a bit Leon returns to his flat. Arthur wants to send Merlin a text thanking him, but since Merlin has specifically said they are to cool it on communication, he doesn’t. He can thank Merlin when they run the next evening. He’s goofily happy that Merlin has insisted on keeping their running dates, even though Will evidently doesn’t want him to.

Arthur spends the rest of the evening on the couch watching television with Yoda snuggled next to him.

***

“No one’s ever given me such a nice gift,” Arthur says as he and Merlin run. Seeing each other was a little weird at first, but Arthur feels okay now. They hit their stride, their breathing even.

“I’m really glad you like him,” Merlin says. He waits a moment. “Will was pretty angry with me when I got home,” he admits. “But I let him have it with my suspicions, and we had a huge row. His jealousy of you pales in comparison with all that I had to say to him.”

Arthur wants to ask if Merlin’s suspicions were valid, but it’s none of his business. Instead, he tells Merlin about his new neighbor. “So now I have a cat and a neighbor. Good on me, yeah? I guess I didn’t really tell you this, but one of my New Year’s resolutions was to stop being such a loner. Percy gave me a talk about changing things. Part of that was supposed to be admitting to you how I felt, but I pretty much chickened out of that one.”

Merlin glances his way. “So Percy knew?”

“Not the whole time, no. But he figured it out later on. He just thought you deserved to know, but I was afraid you’d push me away.”

“I’m not,” Merlin said rather forcefully. “Pushing you away, that is. That’s not what I’m doing here. I’m just giving Will and me some time.”

“I understand completely,” Arthur hurried to assure him. “I’m glad you still want to be friends. I’m really going to try to put it all behind me now.”

Merlin nods, but Arthur thinks he looks unsure. Arthur knocks him with his shoulder, almost pushing him off the path, and Merlin laughs, retaliating. They run faster.

***

“That was undoubtedly the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen,” Leon says when they exit the theater. “Zombies are so overrated.”

“Definitely,” Arthur says. “But don’t think I didn’t notice you hiding your eyes during the part where they ate the dogs.”

“But they were such cute dogs!” Leon moans. “That was gross!” He grabs Arthur’s wrist and takes a sip of his drink.

“Hey, you had an entire frozen Coke inside, why are you taking mine now?” Arthur laughs. Behind Leon’s head, he suddenly sees a face he recognizes. It’s Will, and beside him is Merlin. Arthur stops, and Leon turns around. Arthur makes introductions and Leon shakes their hands.

It’s been three weeks since everything happened, and Arthur has only seen Merlin during what have now become their semiweekly runs. Leon and Arthur are sort of dating. Arthur told Leon up front that he isn’t looking for anything more than friendship, and it is completely up to Leon whether he wants to add sex to that. So far they haven’t, but the snogging is good.

Will is a bit surly and has his arm wrapped around Merlin’s waist in a proprietary way that he’s never taken before around Arthur. It suggests that he now feels threatened, and Arthur can’t figure out why. Just because Merlin spent the night at his place doesn’t mean anything happened, and Merlin has certainly never given Arthur any encouragement, Lord only knows. Arthur also feels sure Merlin has not told Will about their private talks.

When Merlin suggests they all go for a drink, Will doesn’t object, though. Leon knows the whole Merlin story, and Arthur is a little touched when he takes Arthur’s hand in his and squeezes it reassuringly. Arthur squeezes back. Merlin notices this, and Arthur wonders if it takes a load off his mind to have Arthur finally paired off with someone. The thought bothers him, but in another way he hopes that it does soothe Merlin somewhat. He wants Merlin to be happy, not constantly worried about Arthur pining for him.

They procure a table in the back of the pub and Arthur buys the first round. He’s a little surprised when Leon throws an arm around his shoulders in the booth, but it’s nice to be wanted and not feel like a third wheel as he usually does around Will and Merlin. Leon encourages him to drink up, then asks Will which movie they’d been to see. As it turns out, they’d seen the same show as Leon and Arthur. They’d been sitting in the back. Merlin says he’d spotted them early on, but they’d been too far away from each other to say hello.

They discuss various scenes, and Arthur feels warm and easy for the most part, if he can just forget that Will’s a wanker who treats Merlin like shit. He tries not to watch Merlin or think about things like his hair or his adorable ears. He pulls his gaze from Merlin’s long fingers and sweet lips. When he finds Merlin’s eyes upon him, he smiles and looks away. Leon goes for the next round.

“Nice bloke,” Merlin says, and Arthur nods.

Will stands. “I’m going to the loo. Can I trust the two of you alone?”

“Oh, sod off,” Arthur says.

Will flexes the muscles in his lean arms. Arthur’s pretty sure he can take him. “Excuse me?”

“Will,” Merlin sighs.

“Either you trust Merlin or you don’t,” Arthur says.

Will sneers and heads for the men’s room.

“Things really are better,” Merlin tells Arthur. “It’s just he’s crazy jealous when it comes to you.”

“Why? We never did anything. It was always just me mooning over you.” Arthur doesn’t get it.

Merlin shrugs. “I’m not sure, exactly.”

“Have you talked out all the other stuff?”

“A lot of it,” Merlin says. He pats Arthur’s hand. “Leon’s nice.”

“We’re really only friends. Maybe friends with benefits, I’m not sure yet.” He smiles.

Merlin’s smile wavers a little.

“Do I make you uncomfortable now you know how I feel?” Arthur asks unhappily.

“What? No.” Merlin shakes his head. “It’s really kind of flattering, actually. I never imagined someone like you could fancy someone like me.”

“What do you mean someone like you? You’re—God.” Arthur shakes his head. “I could eat you with a spoon.”

Merlin’s face changes—he looks shocked, and Arthur hurriedly apologizes just as both Will and Leon approach the table from different directions.

“Did you miss me, Arthur?” Leon teases, studying his face. Suddenly, he kisses Arthur for all he’s worth, there in front of everyone. Arthur goes slack; he’s so embarrassed at what he’d said to Merlin and at Merlin’s reaction to it. Leon’s tongue enters his mouth, smooth and wet, and he tilts Arthur’s head back. It’s a lazy, sensual snog, and a few catcalls register in Arthur’s brain before he has the wherewithal to kiss Leon back. When they come up for air, Arthur meets Merlin’s eyes, crystal blue and clear.

***

“What in the hell was all that about?” Arthur asks later as they enter their building.

“What?” Leon asks.

“The PDA,” Arthur says. “You normally don’t snog me in public.”

“Maybe I just thought you looked highly snoggable,” Leon says.

“Is that even a word?” Arthur laughs.

“Does it matter?” Leon pins him to the wall outside Arthur’s door.

“Are you coming onto me?” Arthur asks against Leon’s lips.

“Do you want me to be?” Leon asks moving to Arthur’s neck.

Good question.

Arthur laces a hand with Leon’s.  “Leon, I can’t—“

“I know, Arthur. No strings.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I want you.”

“Well, okay, then.”

Arthur opens the door.

 


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No single person really enjoys Valentines Day, do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to leave you with an update this morning before going to work, particularly since many of you have been so great about commenting and sharing your thoughts. Sorry to end where it does. I hope to be able to update again tonight.

Arthur hopes Leon isn’t disappointed that they don’t take things all the way into the bedroom. He doesn’t seem to be when he leaves, giving Arthur a kiss and a “See ya later,” before disappearing inside his own flat. Arthur eyes the couch where their mutual wank took place with a combination of satisfaction and worry. In the end, when things don’t work out with Leon, what’s it going to be like living next door to him?

Sure, Leon knows Arthur’s feelings for Merlin and the fact that he’s not getting over those feelings any time soon. Arthur doesn’t feel any hope where Merlin’s concerned: he’s put it all out there, and Merlin’s still with Will. Arthur’s really just glad that his and Merlin’s friendship is still intact. But he’s not ready to move on to feelings for someone else, no matter how great Leon is. Not yet, anyway.

He takes a shower and slips into bed, glad that he doesn’t have to deal with the scent of another man on his sheets as he’s going to sleep. His mobile pings, and he searches for it on the nightstand, shocked to see the message is from Merlin.

  _Don’t text back. Just wanted you to know it was good seeing you outside of our run for a change._

Yoda jumps up on the bed and burrows under the covers, snuggling up beside him, something hairless cats are wont to do, Arthur’s learned. It feels nice.

Arthur goes to sleep smiling.

***

On Valentine’s Day, Arthur receives a card at work. It has a picture of a high school stadium and with a sharpie someone has penned “love behind the bleachers” with an arrow pointing in that direction.

At the bottom is written,

_I saw this and couldn’t resist._

_Happy Valentine’s Day, my friend._

_Merlin._

Arthur laughs.

Oddly, he receives another card. It’s a big red heart with an “I love you” above it and the name Yoda printed underneath.

For a day that Arthur really thought was going to be shite, it turns out to be pretty good. He picks up a piece of fresh fish for Yoda on his way home.

***

Merlin misses their next run and Arthur is worried. He thinks _, Fuck Will_ , and texts Merlin, _you okay?_

He gets nothing back all evening, and is nervous. Leon comes over for dinner. Arthur keeps giving himself reasons why Merlin probably missed running. It could be anything.  Maybe he has a bad cold and he’s sleeping. Maybe his mother’s in town and he’s busy. Maybe Will’s had a bad allergic reaction to something and is in hospital…(okay, that would be too good to be true.)

“What is up with you?” Leon finally asks, eyeing him from the other end of the sofa. “You’re so jumpy.” He has his long legs spread out between them.

“I’m worried,” Arthur admits, feeling silly. “Merlin didn’t make it to run this evening. He’s never missed before, and he didn’t answer my text.”

“That wanker Will probably erased it,” Leon says.

“That doesn’t explain why he didn’t text me to tell me he wouldn’t be there,” Arthur answers. “What if he was in a car wreck? Will wouldn’t let me know.”

“Arthur,” Leon brings his legs down and scoots close to him. “I’m sure it’s nothing and as soon as he can, he’ll let you know. You’re working yourself up for nothing. Please relax—you’re making me nervous, too.”

Arthur tries to smile. He takes a deep breath and ruffles Leon’s ginger-colored curls. Leon kisses Arthur’s jawline; it feels nice. Arthur turns his head and catches his lips, inviting some tongue play.  Slowly, he lets himself forget his worries, the drone of the television a backdrop as Leon slides a hand down Arthur’s chest and palms his hardening cock. Arthur pushes up into Leon’s hand and groans, taking a fistful of Leon’s hair and roughly tugging his head back so Arthur can bite at his neck where a day’s worth of stubble has grown. Leon gasps.

“Pendragon, you don’t know how much I want you to fuck me.”

Leon’s words delivered with such hoarse desire ignite a fire in Arthur’s loins. It’s been a long time since he’s topped, and he needs it.

Leon tugs at Arthur’s shirt and Arthur pulls it the rest of the way off, throwing it to the floor, followed by Leon’s T-shirt. The feel of smooth skin against his is comforting and exhilarating, both. Leon’s mouth latches onto a nipple and Arthur groans, bucking up. He pushes Leon back, taking over, stripping him of his loose pants and mouthing down his body.

“I’ve gotta find my condoms,” Arthur says, staggering to his feet. Leon lies on the couch, breathing hard.

“Hurry back,” he says, stroking his long cock.

Arthur trips across the living room into the bathroom, opening drawers haphazardly. When he finally finds what he needs and returns, Leon’s holding his mobile out.

“It’s Merlin. I answered.”

Arthur takes the phone. “Merlin? Are you all right?”

Arthur expects a chirpy reply that his mobile was acting up or some such. He really does. What he gets is broken syllables that he can barely understand.

“Merlin, slow down. Where are you? Are you saying you’re downstairs?”

Leon is already slipping his clothes back on.

“I’ll tell the doorman to let you in. Come on up.” Arthur looks at Leon. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Of course it is,” Leon says. He kisses Arthur and moves toward the door. He opens it and gets his key out.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” Arthur says. The light on the lift is moving.

“He sounded really upset,” Leon agrees.

The lift doors slide open, and Leon looks over his shoulder. Merlin is a mess. It’s painfully obvious he’s been crying. A lot. Leon tactfully slips into his flat and shuts the door. Arthur motions for Merlin to come inside.

When Arthur shuts his own door, Merlin falls into his arms, sobbing. Arthur just holds him.

“Shh, Merlin, what’s wrong?” Arthur croons into his hair, shamefully enjoying being so near to him even as his worry ratchets up a notch. He can feel the other man’s hot tears on the bare skin of his neck. He wraps his arms tightly around Merlin and holds on until he calms, just taking in the feel of him.

When Merlin finally pulls back, they move into the living room.

“Oh, God.” Merlin stops mid-way across the floor.

“What?” Then Arthur sees what Merlin sees--Arthur’s bare torso with the fresh love bites all over it. His disheveled hair. The lube and condoms on the coffee table and pillows scattered all over the floor.

“I’m sorry…” fresh tears course down Merlin’s cheeks.

“Don’t be silly,” Arthur says.

Merlin shakes his head. “You don’t understand. I’m so _stupid_!”

“You are not stupid, Merlin, just incredibly soggy right now.” Arthur grabs some tissues and dabs at Merlin’s face until Merlin starts laughing and takes them from him.

“You and Leon are a thing now, aren’t you?” Merlin chokes, blowing his nose.

“If by ‘thing’ you mean friends who occasionally get each other off, then, yeah, I suppose.”

 Merlin sits down in the chair and stares off at the wall. “Will and I are over,” he says dully.

Arthur’s legs lose the ability to hold him up and he sits down on the floor at Merlin’s feet.

 


	8. chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad I was able to post for you tonight! Thanks for all the comments. I had a tiring day at work, and it was great to come home to them.

Arthur reaches for his shirt and pulls it on, then crawls over to the television and shuts it off.

“Tell me what happened,” he says.

Merlin shakes his head. “I can’t yet.”

“You want a drink?”

Merlin nods.

Arthur gets some brandy out of the cabinet and pours them both a glass. Merlin drinks, his lashes dark and clumped together against his white skin.

“I was worried when you didn’t make our run,” Arthur tells him.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin meets Arthur’s gaze, his eyes impossibly blue. “Will and I fought—about you.”

“Me?” Arthur asks, surprised. “I haven’t even seen you lately.”   

“It’s been building up.” Merlin looks down at at his hands clenched in his lap. “Ever since that day at the pub.”

“What has?” Arthur frowns, confused.

Merlin’s face is pink and streaked with tears. He presses his lips together. “I’ve tried to tell myself that I don’t feel anything for you, Arthur, but…I do.” He looks up. “And I’ve hurt Will. Hurt him really badly.” Merlin squeezes his eyes shut. “He knew it was coming. He’s said it all along. Ever since you and I met.”

“I don’t understand.” Arthur scoots closer to Merlin’s chair.

“Will’s always had this thing about how I went to uni and he didn’t. It really bugged him how you and I both love to read so much. And he’d goad me about how you were always looking at me, and he’d ask me when I was going to give in to you.” Merlin takes a shaky breath. “I never believed that you liked me that way, and after I found out it was true, I—well, I started looking at you differently, I guess.”

Arthur regards Merlin dazedly. Is he saying what Arthur thinks he’s saying?

“Will’s always said I’d leave him eventually for someone better, and I’ve always told him I never would. I never thought I would! I always thought we’d be together, but then I met you—and when I allowed myself to feel something for you…”

Arthur reaches out and grasps Merlin’s hand. “Merlin, are you sure?”

“Arthur, when I saw you with Leon at the pub…when I saw Leon kissing you, I just wanted to—I wanted to be the one you were kissing!”

Arthur rises to his knees, cupping Merlin’s face in his hands, brushing his cheeks with his thumbs. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to kiss you, and for how long,” Arthur says breathlessly before pressing his lips to Merlin’s. He tastes tears as his mouth moves fervently, carefully. Pulling back, he looks at Merlin’s wondering face.

“Maybe you should lie down for a while,” Arthur says softly, though with difficulty since he wants nothing more than to continue, but he knows he shouldn’t push Merlin too fast. “You’ve been through a lot.” He stands and pulls Merlin up from the chair, feeling how cold his hand is. “Come on. Let’s go lie down.” He leads Merlin into the bedroom and helps him take off his shoes. They climb under the colorful duvet that Gwen helped Arthur pick out, and Arthur shuts off the light. He holds Merlin, breathing in his scent. He can’t believe he really has him here with him. He can’t believe he has a chance. Part of him is afraid to really hope.

Merlin and Will have had a long relationship, and what if Merlin’s just confused and doesn’t know what he really wants?

“Arthur?” Merlin’s voice comes out of the darkness.

“Yeah?” Arthur answers.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so unfair to you.”

“What do you mean?”

Merlin entwines his fingers with Arthur’s.

“Well, here you’ve liked me all this time, and I haven’t exactly given you any encouragement. And now I show up on your doorstep, pretty much running off your date.”

“Leon knows how I feel about you,” Arthur says.

“He does?” Merlin stills beside him.

“Yeah. I mean, I had to tell him from the get go why I couldn’t get into a serious relationship. I didn’t have any hope of being with you, but that didn’t mean I could just turn my feelings off, you know?”

Arthur listens to Merlin breathe for several long minutes.

“I don’t feel like I have a right to ask anything of you,” Merlin finally whispers. “But I need some time. I need to get Will out of my life and find _me_.” Merlin turns in the bed so that Arthur can feel how close he is. A long finger trails over Arthur’s cheek and touches his lips. Arthur pulls it into his mouth, sucking it gently before letting it go.

“I love you,” Arthur says.

Merlin starts to cry all over again, and Arthur pulls him into an embrace. He holds him until they both fall asleep.

***

A couple of weeks pass with Arthur and Merlin only seeing one another when they run. Merlin is tense as he relays how every time Will comes over to move some of his things out, they have a difficult conversation that ends in a nasty argument. Will hates Arthur and blames him for everything that’s gone wrong between himself and Merlin, even though Merlin has tried to explain that there were a lot of things that weren’t working.

Arthur tells Leon that now that he feels he has a chance to have something with Merlin, he is going to wait things out to see where that goes. He invites Percy over just to see his face at the changes in Arthur’s apartment. His pleased surprise makes Arthur very proud of himself and all that he’s accomplished since New Year’s. He's glad he's been able to remain friends with the big man, and he wonders if it's his imagination that Percy and Leon seem to hit it off so well.

Three weeks after Merlin and Will’s break up, Arthur takes Merlin out to eat on their first real date. There’s a hint of spring in the air, and they take a walk after having an early meal at a local restaurant. Arthur takes Merlin’s hand in his, reveling at the feel of it. He’s so giddy with lovesick pleasure, he feels as though he’s walking on air.

“Happy?” Arthur asks Merlin when they reach Merlin’s building.

“Yeah,” Merlin says. “It’s odd living alone after so long, but I’m getting used to it. Will’s stopped calling me every single day. It’s getting a little easier.”

“That’s good,” Arthur says, squeezing his hand.

“You’re being awfully patient,” Merlin tells him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Arthur says. “I’m the happiest man alive.” He leans in and gives Merlin a heart-felt kiss, running his tongue along Merlin’s full bottom lip.

“It won’t be long,” Merlin promises. He wraps a hand around the back of Arthur’s neck, pulling him in again, kissing him deeply, his tongue moving languidly against Arthur’s. Arthur hums into the kiss. They part, smiling. “In fact, I thought maybe we can go away for a weekend,” Merlin adds.

“That sounds like fun,” Arthur smiles, and they kiss again before saying goodnight.

As Arthur walks back toward where he’d parked his car, he sees a man watching him. He’s young and handsome, with a boyish face and very blue, very piercing eyes. Something about the way he looks at Arthur makes him shiver, but a moment later, the man is gone and Arthur soon forgets about him altogether.

 


	9. chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the most energy in the mornings, and I managed to get a chapter out before work again. I'm glad so many of you are enjoying the story. I'm sorry about those of you who feel a lost connection between Merlin and Arthur. That certainly was not my intention.  
> Again, thanks so much for the comments. I'm thrilled when you say I give you a smile!

Arthur can’t believe it. He’s supposed to meet Merlin for their run, and he’s got a fucking flat. He stares at it as if that will fix everything before grabbing his mobile and calling triple A. Then he sends Merlin a text to explain that he’ll have to skip the run and will talk to him later.

At home, he fixes a light dinner and talks to the cat until Leon stops by.

“You certainly look happy this evening,” Arthur comments.

“I’ve got a date,” Leon grins.

“Good on you!” Arthur nods approvingly as he washes his few dishes in the sink. “You’re a great catch for someone, Leon.” Arthur gives him a sly look over his shoulder. “It wouldn’t happen to be a certain large man with a big heart and arms like steel, would it?”

Leon colors. “Er…maybe. You don’t mind, do you?”

Arthur laughs. “Why would I? I was pretty awful to the both of you.”

Leon moves to stand behind Arthur, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on his shoulder. “You weren’t awful. You were just unfortunate enough to be in love with someone who didn’t feel the same way.”

A tremor runs up Arthur’s spine.

“I worry about you, Arthur,” Leon whispers, placing a kiss behind his ear.

***

“Arthur, if you aren’t going to meet me, I’d appreciate a call or something!” Merlin’s voice is loud and angry in the dark.

Arthur blinks and leans over to switch on the bedside lamp while Yoda scrambles out of the bed, insulted, and stalks out of the room. It’s just past eleven. “Merlin?” he asks, his voice husky with sleep.

“I’ve been worried! Are you trying to get me back for that time I stood you up?”

Arthur sits up in bed, trying to get oriented. He runs his hand through his hair. The flat tire. Right.

“I sent you a text. I had a flat tire when I came out of work. Didn’t you get it?”

“No, I didn’t get it! God, I can’t take this!”  Merlin hangs up, and Arthur’s stomach drops. He tries to call Merlin back, but he doesn’t pick up. He texts him instead.

_I have no idea what’s going on. I texted you about the flat, came home, ate, and went to bed. That’s all I know._

He lies back down and stares at the ceiling. Finally, his phone rings.

“I’m really sorry, Arthur.”  Merlin’s voice is strained. “I didn’t get the text, but I believe you. I’ve just had a really bad evening, and I was worried about you, too. This is really the first chance I’ve had to call.”

“What happened?” Arthur asks, and Merlin’s answering sigh is bone-weary.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. Tell me something funny.”

Arthur can hear Merlin settling down in bed and more than anything he wishes he could be there with him. He thinks about work and tells Merlin about a man who sells muffins every morning from a cart while singing Neil Diamond hits very poorly. “When he’s around the ladies, he swivels his hips and throws winks at them, but he weighs about three hundred pounds and has a giant wart on his nose, so I don’t think it affects them much.”

Merlin chuckles, and Arthur smiles.

“I’ve been thinking about our weekend away,” Merlin says, his voice husky, and Arthur feels a tightening in his groin. “Thinking about different possibilities. I just want you to know it’s never far from my mind. That I do want to be with you that way.”

Arthur can’t help the groan that escapes his lips, and he hears Merlin’s indrawn breath.

“I want you so much, Merlin….think about it so much.”

“I’m…afraid I’ll disappoint you,” Merlin admits in a small voice.

Arthur opens his eyes wide. “How could you possibly do that?”

“I’ve told you, I’ve only been with one person, and I …I don’t know.” He sounds embarrassed, and Arthur can imagine how he’s blushing.

“Merlin, just being able to see you naked and to touch you would have me coming all over myself.”

Merlin laughs, and Arthur knows he’s thinking about his ‘behind the bleachers’ story.

“I’d like you to cum all over me,” Merlin surprises Arthur by saying.

Arthur almost can’t get the words out. “I’d like that, too.” He thinks and adds, “all over your sweet mouth.”

“You think my mouth is sweet?” Merlin asks, sounding surprised.

“God, yes.” Arthur’s palming himself now. He can’t help it.

“Go ahead and touch yourself, Arthur,” Merlin says a little coyly, and Arthur doesn’t need to be told twice. He slips his hand into his shorts and gives himself a stroke, a little embarrassed at the sound he makes when he does.

Merlin makes a noise something like a purr on the line and says, “I’ve thought about something…”

“What? Tell me…” Arthur sighs.

“Just…falling to my knees if front of you and pulling down those pants you wear to run. I’ve seen your cock in the shower, and it’s so pretty.”

Arthur almost cums right then at Merlin calling his cock _pretty_ for fuck’s sake— and here he’d thought Merlin had never paid any attention to him all those times in the locker room.

“I love all that blond pubic hair you have. I just want to bury my nose in it.”

Arthur thrusts into his hand, his breath hitching. It seems to embolden Merlin, who continues.

“I really want to take you in my mouth, Arthur. Hold your pretty cock on my tongue and suck it. I want to get it good and wet and take it all the way to my throat, then swallow around it.”

“Shit!” Arthur comes all over his stomach and undershorts.

It’s silent for a moment.

“You sound so sexy when you cum,” Merlin says tightly. “Fuck.” He sets his mobile down and Arthur listens as he gets himself off, almost growing hard again at the sounds Merlin’s making—little mewling, needy noises that make Arthur want to _do_ things to him.

“Wish you were here,” Arthur tells him when he’s back on the line and they’re settled in their respective beds.

“Me, too.”

“You didn’t sound like you’d be disappointing in any way,” Arthur points out.

“You inspire me,” Merlin laughs.

“Good. I want to inspire you,” Arthur says softly.

The next morning Arthur sees the man with the very blue eyes outside his building and thinks he must live nearby.

 

 

 


	10. chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't get anything up last night. Tiring day. Here's a chapter. I hope it isn't riddled with errors, as I wrote it this morning. Have a good day! Thanks for the comments; they are great to arrive home to. I'm thrilled so many seemed to be enjoying this story.

 

It’s been a long time coming, considering Arthur and Merlin have been seeing one another a while now, but Arthur is adamant that they talk in-depth before things progress in the bedroom.

They sit together in Merlin’s flat. This is another thing that Arthur has insisted on. Since Merlin’s break-up with Will, Arthur hasn’t spent any time there. Now that Will’s things are gone and Merlin has had some time to rearrange, Arthur feels that being there is a part of getting to know Merlin.

“Tell me what happened the night I got the flat tire,” Arthur begins. They’re snuggled on the couch, Merlin’s head tucked under Arthur’s chin. Arthur can feel Merlin’s body stiffen against him at his words.

“Will was just being an arse,” Merlin answers vaguely. He runs a finger along Arthur’s thigh.

“That’s a given,” Arthur tells him. “But how?”

Merlin takes a breath. “He—came over to get the rest of his stuff. The little that was left.”

Arthur bends his head to peer at Merlin’s face. He sees he’s biting his lip, something Merlin does when he’s anxious. Arthur kisses Merlin’s neck comfortingly.

“Hey…It’s just me. Tell me.”

Merlin sighs, relaxing into Arthur.

“He was being such a dick. I was all dressed to run, heading out the door, actually, and there’s Will coming to pick up what amounted to essentially nothing.” Merlin fiddles absently with Arthur’s fingers while he talks, annoyance coloring his tone. “Just the dregs of what was left. I suspected he was just trying to hold me up. And he started in about you. He just kept saying things, trying to get me upset.”

When Merlin doesn’t continue, Arthur nudges him with his arm. “And?”

“And I got really angry. We had a row. I got upset because Will was throwing stuff up in my face—old stuff from a long time ago. And then he suddenly just shut up and told me to go on if I had to, so I left, and then you weren’t there, and there was no message, and I was so mad, I didn’t even try to call you right then. I kept thinking you’d call me, because that’s the kind of person you are. And the longer it took, the madder I got.” Merlin has run out of breath. He waits.

Arthur kisses the top of his head. “I really did text you, Merlin. I wish I could go back and call you instead.”

Merlin shakes his head. “I believe you. It obviously didn’t go through, or…” he swallows. “I’ve wondered since if maybe Will didn’t erase it. I went into the bathroom to wash my face, and he had an opportunity.”

Arthur hugs Merlin tightly to him. “It doesn’t matter. He can’t hurt us.”

Merlin turns his head on Arthur’s shoulder. “He tries to make me doubt you. Doubt how you feel about me, or that you could feel that way for long,” Merlin says, his face pained. The dip of Merlin’s brows and hurt frown on his lips make Arthur’s stomach hurt. He wants to go find Will and beat his face in.

Instead, he lets himself feel where his hands are-- at Merlin’s waist, just where his T-shirt rides up. Where there’s the soft skin of Merlin’s stomach and the prickly hairs that run from his navel down to the button of his low-riding jeans. Arthur runs his fingers lightly over the area, bringing goose bumps to the tips like braille. Merlin trembles against him, his breathing quickening, and Arthur feels suddenly powerful with the knowledge of what he could do to this man with his hands, his mouth. He wants to make Merlin beg and cry out, but he knows it’s still too soon.

“I love you, Merlin,” he says in Merlin’s ear. “Don’t doubt that.”

Merlin half-turns in his arms. “Arthur, I—“

Arthur puts a finger to Merlin’s lips. “And I don’t want you to say anything in return yet, no matter how you think you feel. Just wait. We’re taking things slow.”

Merlin gazes into Arthur’s eyes until Arthur feels sure he can see everything there is inside of him. Finally, Merlin nods and kisses him, tiny kisses that nip and suck at Arthur’s lips and drive him crazy.

Arthur’s desperately hard, and he _wants_. It’s obvious from the bulge pushing against Arthur’s thigh that Merlin wants him, too.

“Can’t we…” Merlin begins.

“I don’t think we should, yet,” Arthur rasps. It’s fucking difficult to say, that’s for sure.

“But…you don’t wait this long with—I mean, didn’t you with Leon? And Percy?” Merlin’s voice is doubtful, unsure of himself.

Arthur pulls away a little, staring at Merlin. “Maybe it doesn’t make a lot of sense, Merlin, but you _matter_. And you’ve been through a lot. And maybe you should know, too, that Leon and I never got around to sleeping together. What you saw was an aborted first time. Before that we just fooled around a little.”

Merlin kisses Arthur’s ear, sending a hot jolt of sensation down to Arthur’s already excruciatingly hard cock. “Would it be selfish of me to say I have great timing?” he asks Arthur, his hot breath drawing a moan from Arthur’s mouth. “I’m so glad you didn’t fuck him, Arthur.”

The next thing Arthur knows, Merlin’s mouth is on Arthur’s, open and wet, and Merlin’s turned around so that he’s straddling Arthur on the couch, their groins smashed together. Arthur grasps Merlin’s arse with his hands and kisses him back, breathless in his desire. When Merlin begins to grind into him and Arthur meets his every thrust, the friction so, so _good_ … it only takes a couple of minutes for them both to spend themselves in their pants.

“Oh, shit,” Merlin gasps, exhausted. He’s slid to the side and off the couch and is lying on the carpet, gazing at the ceiling of his flat.

“Ditto,” Arthur’s voice is barely a rasp. He lifts his head to look down at the dark spot on his pants. “God, that was good.”

Merlin laughs. “Yeah, it was.” He looks up at Arthur where he lays sprawled on the sofa. “Stay the night?”

“I’d love that more than anything,” Arthur says sincerely, rolling over to meet Merlin’s soulful gaze. “But tomorrow’s a work day, and I don’t have any clothes here.” He reluctantly pulls himself up. “I hope my jacket covers this wet spot. People are going to know what I did.”

Merlin’s grin is huge.

“It’s not funny, wanker,” Arthur grumbles, grabbing a handful of tissues out of a box and trying to clean himself up a little.

Before he leaves, Merlin pins him to the wall. “Soon,” he tells Arthur. “We’re going away together. Nobody else but us. All night in a bed. No clothes.” He kisses Arthur, his tongue silky smooth and demanding. Arthur pulls him closer, his hands inching under Merlin’s shirt to lie flat against the planes of his back.

“Okay. Definitely.”

Arthur kisses him and leaves.

Outside on the curb, Arthur lifts his hand to catch a cab and suddenly spots the man he last saw outside his flat standing just feet away, mobile held up as though taking Arthur’s photo. Immediately, Arthur lunges for him. The man dodges, taking off at a run.

Arthur charges after him.

 

 

 


	11. chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stared at the page for a while last night before giving up. Had better luck this morning. Off to work. Thanks for all the wonderful comments, and for the kudos! Happy you're still with me. Glad to see some new faces.

Arthur sits stroking Yoda with an icepack resting on his shin where he slammed it into a huge trash can just before falling onto hard, unforgiving pavement and losing the guy who’d been stalking him. Yoda purrs contentedly, loving the attention. There’s a knock at the door, and Arthur calls for whoever it is to come in, hoping it’s someone he knows, since he’s in his shorts.

Fortunately it’s only Leon, who, after wandering into the living area, flashes him a grin before concern colors his gaze.

“What the fuck happened? Were you mugged?”

Arthur gives Leon a disbelieving look. “Do I really look like I’ve been mugged? I fell over a huge trash can while chasing a guy.”

Leon’s face clears, and he laughs, sitting on the chair opposite the couch where Arthur is currently sprawled. “Merlin decide he doesn’t want you after all?”

“Har-bloody-har,” Arthur says, shifting and putting Yoda onto the floor. The cat immediately oozes bonelessly over to Leon and rubs against his leg. Leon obligingly scratches him behind his large ears.

“I wasn’t chasing Merlin, funny guy. There’s been this bloke that I’ve spotted here and there—I’ve seen him several times now, and tonight when I came out of Merlin’s, it looked like he was taking my picture with his phone.”

Leon frowns. “Think he’s stalking you? An admirer maybe?”

Arthur pushes himself into a sitting position, removing the ice from his throbbing shin.

“I don’t know. It’s weird. What are you doing up so late, anyway?”

“Oh,” Leon shifts in the chair. Arthur notices for the first time that his friend is dressed up. “Well, I just heard you come in and knew you were up. I’ve been over at Percy’s.”

Arthur smiles knowingly and raises a brow. “Sexy times?”

“Arthur! As if I’d tell you,” Leon scoffs.

“Remember, I’ve sampled from that platter.” Arthur’s crassness is rewarded with a deep blush from Leon that begins at his neck and travels all the way up and over his face.

“God, Arthur,” he croaks, and Arthur throws his head back and laughs loudly, causing Yoda to take off for the bedroom.

“Sorry, Leon, I just couldn’t resist.”

“I do really like him,” Leon says softly.

“I’m glad.” Arthur sits forward, his hands dangling between his knees. His expression is serious now—Leon is special, and so is Percy. “I want you two to be happy.”

Leon’s eyes meet Arthur’s. “I really like you, too, Arthur,” Leon says, surprising Arthur.

“I like you, too, Leon,” Arthur tells him, not breaking their eye contact.

“But you’re sure about Merlin,” Leon replies.

Arthur doesn’t have to think about it. He nods.

“And what about Merlin’s feelings for you? Are you sure about them?”

It’s a stab to the heart, but a fair one. Arthur takes a deep breath, considering. “I can’t be sure yet, but I’m getting there. And I’m willing to take what I can get.”

Leon stands. “Okay, then.” He reaches out and touches Arthur’s face in a gentle caress before he leaves.

***

Friday night Arthur meets Merlin at The Dragon’s Breath for a drink after work. He hasn’t seen his stalker again since chasing him down, and Arthur has thankfully stopped limping when he walks. He finally told Merlin about the man, worried for him since he’s twice now seen him outside Merlin’s flat.

“Why the fuck haven’t you told me about him before?” Merlin had demanded over the phone.

“I really didn’t know if it wasn’t just a coincidence before,” Arthur had told him. “But the last time, I think he was taking my picture using his phone."

“That’s just creepy as hell, Arthur,” Merlin had said, voice laced with worry and anger in equal measure. “And I can’t believe you took after him like that. What if he’d turned around and knifed you? Promise me you won’t do something so stupid again!”

Rather than annoyance, Arthur had felt warmth at Merlin's words of admonishment. The feeling had increased over the past few days as Merlin had continued to question Arthur, worried that the man might show up again.

When Merlin enters the bar, Arthur’s heartbeat picks up--Merlin looks sexy as hell. He has on tight jeans and a navy shirt with a scarf that sets off the paleness of his skin and the blue of his eyes. Arthur loves him so much he feels he might spontaneously combust on the spot. Best of all, Merlin’s face lights up in a spectacular smile when he spots Arthur sitting in the back.

“Hey, you,” Merlin says when he joins him. “Want me to get our drinks?”

Arthur is sure he looks stupidly in love as he stares at Merlin. “Come here, first.” He grabs Merlin’s wrist and pulls him closer, not stopping until he has those pillowy lips pressed to his own. He sighs into the kiss, in heaven.

Arthur feels Merlin relax as his mouth opens and invites Arthur’s tongue in. Arthur curves his hand around Merlin’s neck, feeling Merlin’s pulse pick up under his palm. He runs his fingers into the curls at Merlin’s nape, tugging at them gently as he sucks happily at a luscious upper lip. Merlin tastes of something vaguely salty.

Merlin finally pulls back, his breath short. “We need our weekend, Arthur,” he says, darkened eyes boring into his. “I don’t think I can wait any longer.” Merlin’s voice is so full of desire, Arthur’s half-hard cock becomes granite in an instant. He moans, taking Merlin’s hand and placing it over the large bulge in his pants.

“This is what you do to me, Merlin,” Arthur tells him a bit shakily, looking into Merlin’s now astonished eyes. “And if I can wait, so can you.” He kisses the tip of Merlin’s nose. “Besides, there are other things we can do first.”

Merlin’s long fingers curl around Arthur’s hardness, and Arthur has to close his eyes and clench his teeth. “Please…no more coming in the pants,” he whispers. “I don’t think my ego can take it.”

Merlin laughs softly and removes his hand. “I’ll go get us some beer.”

Arthur watches Merlin walk to the bar, his mouth dry. He wants to book a place somewhere romantic this weekend so badly, but he knows they need to wait and build up to it. He takes several deep breaths and thinks of unsexy things. When Merlin returns, he’s glad when he sits down opposite, giving them some space.

“I want to say,” Merlin says, leaning forward a little so that Arthur can hear him over the din of the crowd, “that I’ve been thinking over some things, and I worry that I come off as being—well, really pathetic, actually.” Merlin takes a sip of his beer.

Arthur frowns, not sure what Merlin is talking about. “What do you mean?”

Merlin shrugs, staring into his glass. “Just with me and Will…I can’t tell you everything without getting into his business, but I want you to know he has reasons for the way he acts, and our history is long and complicated.” Merlin raises his eyes. “I’m no doormat, Arthur.”

Arthur reaches across the table for Merlin’s hand. “I don’t think that. I never did. I think you’re loyal and wonderful.”

Merlin colors a little. “I don’t know about that, but Will’s had it rough, and he doesn’t want me staying with him out of pity, but he also needs me. It was hard to leave him, but it’s what I wanted. And needed. I just want you to know that.” Merlin’s gaze is steady, and Arthur nods. He knows he needed to hear this. He squeezes Merlin’s hand.

“I love you, Merlin,” he can’t help but say. His chest is full of it, this love. “Let’s go back to mine for a while, yeah? Watch some telly and relax. Give Yoda some attention.”

Merlin smiles. “Okay.” They finish their beers and leave.


	12. chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin need to start somewhere as far as getting to know one another on an intimate level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure sex. And I'm sorry--Warning: unprotected sex. They'll discuss this later, just try to enjoy anyway.

Arthur’s head rests in Merlin’s lap. He enjoys the feel of Merlin’s hand in his hair, toying with the golden strands. Merlin’s attention is on the television, but for the past twenty minutes or more, Arthur’s been thinking. Before he makes love to Merlin, he wants to be able to look at him naked without coming all over himself. He wants to be able to take his time. They need to build up to their weekend away together.

Arthur still can’t believe what Merlin told him about never enjoying the sex act itself. He wants so much to show Merlin how it can be, and he wants to start now. He sees their future stretched out before them, like an endless road of joy and opportunity. He still can’t believe that Merlin is with him—that he left Will for _him_. Arthur smiles and turns his head, his face suddenly very close to where Merlin’s cock rests inside his jeans. Arthur moves his jaw so that it brushes against the tip, and he feels it twitch. Merlin gasps, his stomach moving against the top of Arthur’s head.

“Arthur…” Merlin whispers, fingers twisting in Arthur’s hair. Arthur opens his mouth and breathes over the hardening form under the denim before tracing it with his lips. “Oh, fuck,” Merlin says, his hand coming to rest at the base of Arthur’s neck. Arthur bares his teeth and nibbles lightly at the now-rigid outline of Merlin’s cock, and Merlin growls low in his throat, pushing his hips upward.

Arthur gets to his knees. “Take off your pants,” he tells Merlin, and Merlin immediately scrambles to his feet, fumbling with his fly and pushing his jeans down and off. Arthur tugs at Merlin’s boxer-briefs, freeing the long, turgid cock with the tight sac hanging below. The sight takes his breath away. He’s seen Merlin in the shower at the gym, but never fully aroused like this, and it’s beautiful. It makes him crazy with lust, and Arthur wastes no time taking Merlin into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks, his ears ringing with Merlin’s shout of pleasure as he does so.

Merlin’s looking down at him, his face flushed and mouth open, a look of pure pleasure lighting his eyes as Arthur goes down on him, spit dripping off Merlin’s fully erect cock. Arthur makes it as wet and dirty as he can, loving the feel and taste of Merlin in his mouth and the squishy noises he’s producing with his lips and tongue around Merlin’s long prick. Arthur sucks and licks, taking Merlin’s cock as far into his throat as he can and swallowing, feeling Merlin shudder when he does. Arthur brings his hands up and runs them over Merlin’s bare legs, liking the feel of the hairs there and the contrasting bareness of his arse cheeks. Merlin begins to pump his hips, and Arthur takes it, glancing at Merlin coyly from under his lashes as Merlin watches Arthur suck on him. He lets go of Merlin’s arse long enough to unbutton his own shirt and throw it off, and Merlin brings his hands to Arthur’s shoulders, grasping them a moment before bringing them to Arthur’s head and taking hold. Arthur braces himself as Merlin loses control and begins to fuck him in the mouth, the tip of his stiff cock hitting the back of Arthur’s throat. It takes everything Arthur’s got to hold off his gag reflex, instead concentrating on the sinfully sexy noises Merlin is making as he nears completion. Arthur holds onto Merlin’s legs and takes it, his own cock painfully hard in his pants, until finally Merlin pulls out of him, grasps himself with both hands and shoots cum all over Arthur’s face. Arthur opens his mouth and takes some of it on his tongue, licking his lips with pleasure.

“Mmm, you taste so good,” he rasps, before letting go of Merlin and tearing open his own pants with trembling fingers to get at his stiff prick. Wiping some of Merlin’s spunk from his face, Arthur uses it to moisten his hand and begins jerking himself, desperate for release, staring at Merlin’s nude, replete form sagging against the couch, his blue eyes lust-laden and dark hair disheveled as he watches Arthur beat off.

“God, Arthur, so good…” Merlin breathes. “Watching you suck me. Seeing you touch yourself…come on,” Merlin gets on his knees and crawls over until he’s kneeling in front of Arthur. He leans down, pouting at him provocatively. “Cum on my face, Arthur. Do it.”

"Holy fuck, yes," Arthur wants to. He feels it building, starting from his toes and soaring up through his body like a missile. His eyes zero in on the target--Merlin’s beautiful lips and then suddenly there’s the explosion jerking through him--he’s watching the white ropes hit that gorgeous mouth with the pink tongue sneaking out to lick it all up. Pleasure washes over Arthur until he can’t see anything at all for what seems like ages afterward.

When he’s himself again, Merlin is wrapped around him, his ear pressed to his heart.

 


	13. chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a perv. Honestly! But a little more bedroom action before the story progresses. It does progress a bit in this chapter, though. Weekend's coming up--I should be able to get a lot of writing done. Thanks for the comments! I love coming home to the nice and interesting things you have to say.

They manage to get up off the floor and finish undressing, tumbling into Arthur’s bed and sinking into the warmth of the other’s embrace.  Arthur finds himself cradled in Merlin’s arms, a singularly lovely sensation, and wonders if he is imagining the wave of protectiveness he feels rolling off the man in his arms.

Arthur has had many lovers in his life—at least as far as sexual play goes. And participating in sexual play does not in itself make him feel close to a person. Gwen has told him that women often automatically feel closer to a man after having sex with them, something that immediately made Arthur glad he prefers males. He also assumes there are more sensitive men out there who feel the same way as the women. He wonders if Merlin is one of them, or if he really does have deep feelings for Arthur. Part of him cannot let go of the fear that this could just be a fling for Merlin—and that he might return to the man he’s been with for so long.

Arthur runs his palm down Merlin’s side, loving the feel of his bare skin and just the fact that he can do this—touch Merlin privately. He lifts his chin, and they share a kiss.

“That was…so good, what you did to me,” Merlin says a few minutes later, his fingers brushing the hair from Arthur’s face in a way that makes Arthur contentedly sleepy. Arthur smiles.

“Yeah, it was. There were so many things I wanted to do; it was hard to pick just one.” He looks up at Merlin. “I really want to suck your balls, Merlin.” He watches his lover’s eyes darken before turning his head and kissing Merlin’s chest, rubbing his nose in the sparse, dark hairs growing there. Merlin squirms a little.

“Shit, Arthur, don’t talk about it now! I don’t have the energy.”

Arthur chuckles, climbing up so that he’s poised over Merlin’s body. Slowly, he lowers himself so that their cocks touch, and Merlin sucks in his breath. Arthur rocks his hips, enjoying the look on Merlin’s face even more than the sensations the contact brings.

“ _Fuck_ , Arthur…” Merlin thrusts at him. Their sacs touch, and Merlin lets out a hiss. Arthur’s eyes roll back in his head, and he speeds up, rolling his hips with purpose as he feels Merlin hardening. Merlin rises to meet him before wrapping his long legs around Arthur’s waist. Arthur groans loudly, too many wank fantasies fulfilled in that one move, and falls from where he’s propped on his hands down to his elbows. He leans in, his tongue reaching Merlin’s kiss-swollen mouth before his lips. The kiss is wet and sloppy and satisfying. Merlin’s hands press into Arthur’s back, their sweaty groins grinding together, and then Merlin’s breath hitches and his head falls back. Arthur latches his teeth onto the soft skin of Merlin’s neck as his own orgasm envelopes him, and he breathes out, feeling their warm spunk mingling between them.

“You make me feel so hedonistic,” Arthur admits when he catches his breath. He runs his finger through the cum on Merlin’s stomach. “I really think I could lick every bit of this off you.”

Merlin’s grin is gorgeous. “Let’s take a shower instead. Then eat something. I’m starving!”

***

They finally sleep, and the following morning is spent peacefully reading the paper and drinking coffee. Leon stops by, and Arthur thinks he looks surprised to find Merlin there. Arthur knows he’s looking out for him, and he appreciates it, but part of him can’t help but be a little resentful of the doubts Leon has—even though Arthur has occasionally entertained the same doubts.

Arthur also notices that Merlin sits closer to Arthur when Leon is present, and he touches him more. He supposes this is a good sign. When Leon leaves, Arthur brings up something that’s been bothering him.

“Merlin,” he knows he looks sheepish.

Merlin puts down the paper and looks at him. “What is it?”

“I take the blame for this…but, we didn’t discuss safe sex. I mean, I know it was a blow job, but…”

“Arthur, I promise I’m clean. I can show you my last check up,” Merlin says quickly. “In fact, I got tested again just after Will left.” He looks down at his lap. “I always made Will use a condom, though.”

“You did?” Arthur’s surprised. “Even though you were exclusive for so long?” Arthur is a little disappointed, only because he wants to be exclusive with Merlin, and he hopes for no barrier between them.

“I told you, I think he’s been cheating.”

“For how long, though?” Arthur presses.

Merlin shrugs. “I can’t be sure. We rarely actually fucked, and he usually sucked me or I used my hand on him, so…” Merlin looks uncomfortable discussing it. “So just please don’t worry about it. I’ll show you my tests.”

Arthur decides to drop it for now. “Well, I get tested regularly, and I’ve always used condoms.” He bites his lip. “I’d really like it if we didn’t, though. I know I have no right to ask that of you.” Arthur shifts in his chair, feeling juvenile. Of course they should use condoms. It’s the responsible thing to do. _But he doesn’t want anything between them, dammit!_ It’s just the way he _feels_. Merlin makes him crazy. Merlin is everything. He looks up and sees that Merlin’s smiling softly at him.

“I understand.”

“I’ll get tested right away,” Arthur knows he’s grinning like an idiot.

***

Arthur doesn’t see the man with the camera for two weeks, and then he spots him outside his office building. This time Arthur is fast enough.

Grabbing the man by the jacket, Arthur jerks him into the doorway of a closed shop.

“Who the hell are you, and why are you following me?”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” the man says disdainfully, pulling out of Arthur’s grip.

“I’ve seen you several times. You ran away from me! You were taking my picture!”

The man is obviously ready for this. “I was taking a picture of the archway behind you, and then you lunged after me. Of course I ran! You’re a lunatic!”

Arthur doesn’t believe him. “Has someone paid you to follow me?” he asks. This is what he’s thought all along—that Will’s had him under surveillance.  The blue-eyed man remains silent. “Look,” Arthur changes tactics. “The guy is a nutter. You can stalk me all you want for him, but you’re not going to find anything interesting—you must see that by now. You’re wasting your time, and he’s not got enough money to pay you for long. I’d give it up if I were you.”

The man looks uncertain in the face of Arthur’s reasoning, and Arthur feels he has his confirmation. He turns and walks away.

***

“So do I tell Merlin that his ex has been having me tailed?” Arthur asks Gwen that night on the phone.

“Keeping secrets is never a good idea,” Gwen answers. Arthur can hear her kids in the background arguing over something.

“Yeah, but I really don’t want to put any more stress on him. There’s really no harm done.”

“But you said that Merlin already knows about you chasing the guy. He’s already worried. You need to tell him you’ve put it all to rest.”

“Fuck it, Gwen. Why do you always have to be right?”

“It’s a gift.”


	14. chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected things going on last night. Here's your update!

“I don’t know,” Merlin surprises Arthur by saying when Arthur finally does tell him over dinner that night, “that doesn’t really sound like Will.”

“I could tell I was right by the look on the guy’s face—he’d been hired to tail me,” Arthur insists.

“That doesn’t mean Will hired him to do it,” Merlin points out, picking a nacho out of the stack between them and putting it into his mouth. “Besides,” he says, licking his lips, “this has been going on a while, and there’s no way Will would pay someone for that long; he’s too cheap. And what exactly is he trying to prove by it?”

“He’s trying to find something to turn you against me,” Arthur says, unable to believe that Merlin is discounting this. _Of course_ Will is the one who hired the guy. Who else could it possibly be?

Merlin shakes his head. “I don’t think so. It has to be someone else.”

Arthur frowns. How could Merlin be so obtuse? He rubs his hand over his face, taking a deep breath. He doesn’t want to argue about this. “Okay, let’s just drop it. How was your day?”

“It was pants, really. Nothing went right.” Merlin takes a long pull on his beer. Arthur notices for the first time how tired Merlin looks.

“And speaking of Will, I’m a bit worried about him. A mutual friend of ours told me over lunch that he isn’t doing very well.”

Arthur lifts a brow, but otherwise doesn’t comment. He eats a nacho and waits for Merlin to elaborate.

“Gilly says Will isn’t eating and has been missing a lot of work. They’re going to fire him if this keeps up. I think I’m going to go see him tomorrow.”

Arthur feels his stomach muscles tense. “That’s probably what he wants, you know,” he can’t help but say.

“Arthur.” Merlin puts his napkin down and laces his fingers together. “I don’t think Will is doing this for attention. I told you he has a history of problems, and I really can’t just abandon him because we aren’t together anymore.”

Arthur nods, but he has his doubts. He changes the subject, telling Merlin about something funny Gwen’s kids did. They finish their meal and walk the short distance to Merlin’s flat, hands clasped. Arthur has shown Merlin his clean test results, and Merlin has shared his own. They’ve booked a room in a nice hotel just outside of London for the next weekend, and everything’s a go. They’ve been anticipating it, teasing one another constantly about what they’ll get up to. Arthur feels the electricity between them every time they’re together.

“I want you to fuck me,” Arthur whispers into Merlin’s ear as soon as they enter the flat. He can’t help himself. He’s reserved next weekend for showing Merlin how good it can be to bottom, but he wonders if Merlin might want to top him. The thought has pre-cum dribbling into Arthur’s underwear.

“Oh, God,” Merlin shudders. “But I thought…don’t you want to… always top?”

“I want to do everything with you, Merlin,” Arthur tells him seriously. “Absolutely everything.” He punctuates his words with kisses. “Top, bottom, sideways…” Merlin smiles and, taking handfuls of Arthur’s shirt, pulls him closer. “I want that, too, you beautiful blond…sex god.” Arthur laughs and then Merlin’s mouth covers Arthur’s in a fiery kiss, burning him with its intensity, driving Arthur back against the wall, and then Arthur’s no longer laughing, he’s kissing back with all he’s got. Merlin’s hands are suddenly everywhere—under Arthur’s shirt, covering Arthur’s hardening length against his thigh. As Merlin’s tongue dances inside Arthur’s mouth, driving him absolutely insane with need, Arthur suddenly wonders how his pants got unzipped and how Merlin’s hands have found their way around his arse cheeks.

He moans as Merlin squeezes and lifts, all the while continuing to suck on Arthur’s tongue like a babe at the breast. “Yes, fuck, yes, Arthur,” Merlin murmurs, his mouth trailing down Arthur’s jaw to his sensitive neck. Arthur’s vision begins to blur as his body weakens with desire. “I want you, now. Get those shoes off, come on…”

Arthur obediently toes off his shoes and sags against the wall as Merlin disappears momentarily before leading him out of the hall and into the living area. The next thing Arthur knows, things are crashing to the floor and he’s face-planted on the desk, his pants being stripped off his legs.

Arthur’s breathing accelerates as Merlin manhandles him. Merlin is worshipping Arthur’s bare arse with his hands like no one ever has before. He knows Merlin has never topped, and in a moment of clarity Arthur reminds himself that this may not turn out to be Arthur’s greatest experience. But as long as Merlin enjoys himself, Arthur doesn’t care if he doesn’t get off himself.

The heavy sound of Merlin’s breathing above him is intoxicating as Merlin pushes up Arthur’s shirt, kissing his shoulder blades and back while rubbing his hard cock in the crevice of Arthur’s arse. Arthur holds onto the desk and waits, allowing Merlin the freedom to do whatever he pleases with him.

“Oh, Arthur, you’re so gorgeous. I never thought…”

Arthur hears a tube opening, feels the cool finger entering him. Knowing it’s one of Merlin’s slim digits turns Arthur on more than any porn flick would. He gasps and wriggles, and Merlin pumps his finger in and out before replacing it with his cock. Arthur imagines this is the most preparation Will has ever given Merlin, and the thought makes Arthur angry. He forgets it all, though, when Merlin’s long prick enters Arthur’s anus with a sharp thrust. When Arthur gasps and grunts loudly at the intrusion, Merlin gives the side of Arthur’s head a tender kiss. Arthur breathes in and wiggles his arse a little, trying to convey that he’s okay and Merlin seems to lose control, thrusting almost relentlessly.

Arthur holds on, excited in spite of the fact that it’s too much too fast.  If it weren’t for the fact that he’s had a lot of experience, it would be much more difficult to get through. As it is, Arthur concentrates on the hot, hot fact that Merlin is taking him over a desk, his long, elegant cock buried deep inside Arthur’s arsehole, and there’s absolutely no doubt in his mind from the sounds Merlin’s making that he’s enjoying it. Arthur’s cock is sliding against a desk that both Merlin and Will have sat at—undoubtedly written out their bills on-- and Arthur still has on his shirt while Merlin remains almost fully clothed. Imagining the picture they must make sends Arthur over the edge more than anything else, and Merlin cums either just before or just after; Arthur isn’t sure.

Arthur gasps when Merlin withdraws and sags to the floor. He pushes himself up from the desk, staring down at the substantial puddle on the wood. Turning around, he sees Merlin slumped against the wall, head bowed.

“You okay?” he asks him, voice a little hoarse from all the grunting.

When Merlin raises his head, there are tears in his eyes. Arthur kneels down, suddenly afraid. “What’s wrong? I thought—you enjoyed it?”

Merlin’s lips tremble, almost completely undoing Arthur. He reaches over and grasps Merlin’s hands in his.

“Enjoyed it? Arthur, it was…oh, my God….I can’t even describe it.” Merlin shakes his head and tears dislodge from his eyes, spilling down his cheeks. He pulls his hands away and covers his face with them, shoulders shaking.

Arthur sits, wincing as his bare arse hits the cold floor. He knows he probably has cum running out of him, but he doesn’t care. He tugs Merlin closer and holds him, kissing him everywhere he can reach. “I’m glad you enjoyed it, Merlin. You’re _supposed_ to enjoy it, for Christ’s sake! Stop crying; please stop crying.” He rocks Merlin in his arms.

“I’m such an idiot,” Merlin whimpers into Arthur’s shirt. “Crying after sex like a g-girl!”

Arthur holds him tighter. “Shhh…” he smooths Merlin’s hair. “I’ve got you. Sex is good. We like it.” He runs his hands down Merlin’s back and says teasingly, “Sex is our _friend._ ”

Merlin laughs and wipes his face on his sleeve. He looks at Arthur. “That was so good, Arthur. So fucking _good_! You know I’ve never done that before, right? Never fucked anyone before.”

It kind of blows Arthur’s mind. He remembers his first time. It was with a girl, and it felt so fucking good, even if it was fumbled and fast. And the first time with a boy had been out-of-this-world awesome. That Merlin has gone this long without experiencing either just makes Arthur sad. “You can fuck me whenever you want,” he says magnanimously. “I’ll just have to find some way to bare it.” He gives Merlin a wink.

Merlin’s smile is a bit watery. “You really enjoyed it?” He looks skeptical.

“Would you like to check the puddle on the desk?” Arthur asks, raising a brow. He leans in and kisses Merlin deeply. “Let’s get cleaned up. You want me to stay the night, or are you sick of me?”

Merlin smiles, shaking his head. “You have to ask?” He waits a beat. "I’m sick of you, of course. Go home.”

Arthur takes a swipe at him, and Merlin dodges.

They shower, and Arthur manages to hide the fact that he’s pretty sore and maybe a little bruised from their coupling. Before they’re finished, they somehow end up with Merlin on his knees and his mouth on Arthur’s cock and Arthur’s second cum of the evening. Seeing Merlin like that—all slick and wet and devouring him with such enthusiasm—makes Arthur’s heart hurt almost as much as his cock throb. Once wrapped together in Merlin’s bed, Arthur’s exhausted and out like a light.

Sometime in the night, Arthur’s aware of a phone ringing and Merlin’s voice. The bed dips. Sleep pulls Arthur under again, and the next time he awakens, the spot beside him is empty. He can hear talking in the next room, and surmises Merlin is still on the phone. Then suddenly it’s morning, and Merlin is gone. There’s a note on the refrigerator saying he’s visiting Will and Arthur should help himself to breakfast food.

Arthur ends us going back to his place to do chores.

Arthur calls Gwen and tells her about Merlin’s reaction to the confrontation between Arthur and the man who’d been following him.

“Maybe he’s right. After all, he knows Will better than you do,” Gwen points out.

“Gwen, for once, could you just manage to be on my side?” Arthur asks irritably as he chucks cat poo from the litter box into the toilet.

He has Gwen on speaker phone and can hear Lance whistling in the background.

“I’m always on your side, Arthur. But would you just give it some thought, please? Couldn’t there be anyone else who might want to investigate you? Maybe it has to do with work. Or—Arthur, what about your family?”

“What about them?” Arthur asks, flushing the toilet.

“Ew, Arthur! Have you been going to the bathroom while talking to me?” Gwen asks, sounding affronted.

“Lord, no! I’ve been cleaning Yoda’s box out. Gwen! Jees, you know me better than that!” Arthur can’t believe it. “I would _never_!”

Gwen begins to laugh.  "I have to go, Arthur. Lance is making a mess. Talk to you soon."

Arthur sighs. He decides to cleans his flat from top to bottom and resists phoning Merlin. He'll just wait until Merlin decides to let him know what's going on.


	15. chapter 15

When Arthur’s flat can’t get any cleaner, he goes for a run around the park. He finds himself running faster and faster, pushing himself to the limit until his lungs are bursting and he has to walk it off a round. The insecurity that he feels where Merlin is concerned is no good, he knows this. Hell, he hasn’t suffered through something like this in a relationship since---well, never. And that’s because he’s never really been in love before Merlin. And now he finds himself competing with a relationship that’s been years in the making, and how the hell does a person do that?

Arthur sighs as he slowly makes his way home, so absorbed in his thoughts that he doesn’t see Merlin waiting for him outside his door until he’s practically on top of him.

“Merlin!” he exclaims, dropping the keys to his flat onto the floor at their feet.

“Yeah, I was just about to call your mobile,” Merlin says, looking tired. Arthur bends to retrieve his keys and soon has the door open. They go inside.

“I need some water,” Arthur tells him, heading for the kitchen. “You want some?”

“No, I’m fine.” Merlin wanders into the living room. “I was hoping to find you still at mine when I got home, but I guess you had things to do.”

Arthur appears with his bottle of water. “I’ve been cleaning.”

Merlin has gotten comfortable on the couch with Yoda in his lap. “It looks great. I should be doing the same, but I don’t have the energy.”

Arthur regards Merlin for a moment. “I’m going to take a quick shower, okay? Then, if you want, you can tell me what happened.” He heads for the bathroom and strips off his clothes. He lathers quickly under a warm spray and rinses before washing his hair. When he steps out onto the thick bath rug, he dries off and goes to the bedroom to grab some sweat pants before heading back to the living room. He finds Merlin in the same position he was when he left him. Arthur sits down beside him. Annoyed at being jostled, Yoda jumps down and wanders off.

“I gather Will called you in the middle of the night,” Arthur begins, pulling his legs up onto the couch and encircling them with his arms. “I woke up and you’d gotten out of bed.”

“Yeah. He’d had a nightmare.” Merlin turns and looks at Arthur. “I know it sounds silly, but he suffers from bad ones. When he was a kid, he saw something really awful happen right in front of him, and it haunts him sometimes. He doesn’t have a lot of support at home.”

“It sounds like he relies on you a lot,” Arthur says, trying to keep his voice even.

Merlin sighs. “He does. It’s part of the reason why it’s always been so hard for me to define our relationship. There have been times when I’ve wanted to pull away, but I just couldn’t. I feel a responsibility to him.” Merlin reaches out and touches Arthur’s bare shoulder. “I haven’t told you this, but I’ve been seeing a therapist.”

Arthur’s surprised and relieved at the same time. “Really?”

Merlin nods. “Even before I broke up with Will.” He licks his lips. “I started seeing him around the time I met you, actually.”

Arthur frowns. “Why’s that?” He can’t help but wonder how he enters into Merlin’s problems.

Merlin begins twisting a loose thread on his jumper. “I hadn’t really thought about it anymore at the time than just that I was really stressed out. Will and I weren’t getting along and our sex life was really bothering me all of a sudden. Lately, though, I’ve come to realize that I was attracted to you even then. I didn’t admit it to myself, but I was, and those latent feelings made me less content with what I had with Will.” Merlin looked at Arthur.

“And Will could sense it, I know. That’s when he started trying to fix you up with someone, telling me he thought you were lonely. It was only after that failed that he began pointing out that you couldn’t take your eyes off me and how detrimental that was to our relationship... I never believed that for a minute—that you were interested in me.”

“I always felt invisible to you,” Arthur admits. “You seemed so into Will.”

“I’m comfortable with Will. I never allowed myself to indulge by really seeing you, Arthur,” Merlin tries to explain. “Why allow myself to admire the decadent cake when I know I can only have the boxed variety?”

Arthur wrinkles his nose. “That’s a terrible analogy, Merlin.”

Merlin smiles. “No it’s not, not really. You get what I’m saying. You’re out of my league.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Well, I thought you were. It never occurred to me that you could be interested.”

Arthur decides that it’s time he clears some things up. He turns so that he’s fully facing Merlin on the sofa.

“Merlin, this is really hard for me…this thing with you and Will not being able to make a clean break.”

He can see Merlin’s posture stiffening beside him.

“I mean,” Arthur rushes on to say, “I just don’t know exactly where I stand. Sometimes I feel like you’re all emotionally invested in him, and I’m just—well, the sex.”

Merlin’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open. He literally braces himself on the sofa with his hands. “Oh, my God.”

Arthur goes over his words in his mind, but finds they were accurate—he has no reason to change them.

“Arthur, I don’t know what to say.” Merlin looks completely broad swiped.

“I was kind of hoping you’d say that you feel something for me other than lust,” Arthur prompts, his stomach clenching painfully.

There’s a moment of terrible silence where time seems to be suspended and then it cracks open and Merlin breaks into flailing action, leaning forward, hands tugging at Arthur’s arms until Arthur unfolds himself and moves into Merlin’s embrace. “God, Arthur, you’ve got to know that I do, of course I do!”

Arthur half-shrugs, his face pressed against Merlin’s shoulder. To his horror, he feels himself trembling a little. He clenches the ends of his shirt in his hands, twisting them. “I don’t know how I’m really supposed to, Merlin. I mean, I know you like me—that we’re good friends…and I know now that you’re attracted to me. I guess you’re fond of me. But other than that…”

Merlin jerks Arthur back so he’s looking him in the face, and Arthur blinks dopily at the abruptness of the action. “You’re the one who insisted I not say the words yet!” Merlin cries, his fingers digging into Arthur’s shoulders. “So it’s not fair to complain now that I haven’t!”

“I just want you to be sure, Merlin! I don’t want you to say them just because I say them. I’ve had longer to think about it.” Arthur presses his palm to Merlin’s cheek. “I’ve known for a long time that I love you.”

“Arthur…you are _not_ just a good fuck to me,” Merlin says emphatically. “I’m not like that--In fact, if that’s what you think, I’m tempted to cancel this weekend.”

“Oh, no you don’t!” Arthur says, pulling Merlin close. “I’ve waited long enough.”

Merlin seems to melt, the intensity of the moment before gone. “It felt so good being inside you,” he whispers into Arthur’s neck before wiggling away again. “Fuck, now I’m going to feel weird coming onto you…like you think that’s all I want!”

Arthur tugs Merlin back. “No, no. I’m happy that you want me. I just want you to care about me, too.”

“Arthur,” Merlin almost whines, then groans. “Fuck it,” frustration laces his tone. Merlin takes Arthur’s chin in his hand, forcing Arthur to look into his eyes. “I adore you, okay? You silly wanker, I absolutely do.” He kisses Arthur, melting Arthur’s heart clean away before pressing their foreheads together. “ _I love you_ , Arthur Pendragon. Please don’t doubt it ever again. I love you. The real thing.”

Arthur’s never heard any words so wonderful. His answering smile lights up the room.

“Want to spend the night?” Arthur asks after they’ve snogged a while on the sofa.

“Definitely,” Merlin says. “What do you want to do about dinner? It’s about that time.”

Arthur gives Merlin a last, lingering kiss before getting off the sofa. “I haven’t been to the grocery store. Let’s walk around the corner to the soup and sandwich place.”

“Sounds good.” Merlin follows him out.

In the hallway, Merlin surprises Arthur by saying, “You want to ask Leon to go with?”

“Sure,” Arthur shrugs. He hasn’t seen Leon in a few days. He taps on his door. There isn’t any answer.

“I hear something inside,” Merlin says, pressing his ear to the door. Arthur follows suit.

Merlin knocks harder than Arthur had previously

They wait. Nothing.

Arthur bites his lip. “What if something’s wrong? I have a key in my flat…” he tries the knob…it’s unlocked. He glances at Merlin before pushing the door open. They aren’t three steps in before they’re greeted with an alarming sight. At first Arthur is so confused, he isn’t sure what he’s witnessing. His mind’s been running along emergency scenarios, so when he spots the two bodies on the floor, he at first thinks they’re tied together. Then Merlin grabs his arm, tugging him back, and Arthur takes a better look.

And immediately wishes he hadn’t. In fact, he desperately wishes he were back in the hall again. Merlin gives his arm another, harder tug and they back out, closing the door softly behind them.

“Mother of God, I could have done without seeing that,” Merlin says, hands tented over his mouth.

Arthur fervently agrees—in his wildest dreams, he’d never even tried to conjure up the image of Leon and Percy naked and 69ing on the living room floor. Now it was forever etched in his brain. With sound effects.

They make a b-line for the elevator.

The weather is starting to warm up with a balmy breeze meeting them as they hit the pavement.

“Wish I’d gotten in a run today like you did,” Merlin says as they walk. “I’m full of pent-up energy.”

“Maybe we can work some of it off later,” Arthur tells him, opening the door to the small café for Merlin to walk in ahead of him.

It’s not very crowded, and the men find a table in a private corner.

“How was Will when you left him?” Arthur asks after they are served.

Merlin glances at him, eyes warm. It makes Arthur glad he asked. “He felt better. We usually just hang out and shoot the bull until he feels things are normal again.”

Arthur nods. He wants to ask if Merlin said anything to Will about the private investigator Arthur caught hanging around, but he knows Merlin didn’t.

“Honestly, the little hole-in-the-wall Will’s moved into depresses the hell out of me,” Merlin says. “I tried to encourage him to find something a bit nicer. He swears there wasn’t anything available, but I don’t think he even tried. He seems to have given up on everything.”

“And you blame yourself,” Arthur says for him.

Merlin nods. “My therapist says I shouldn’t, of course, but it’s hard not to. Will’s depended on me all these years, and I’ve allowed it. That’s the responsibility I’ve taken right there.”

“Merlin,” Arthur touches his hand, not liking the unhappy look on his face.

“I’m okay,” Merlin tries to smile.

Arthur shakes his head. “I love you so much.”

Merlin’s smile is more genuine this time.

***

The flames in the gas fireplace dance as Arthur slowly rides Merlin, his hips twisting on every downward thrust. He’s made certain that he’s well lubed and the fact that he’s controlling their movements guarantees there won’t be a repeat of the night before.  Merlin’s eyes are tightly closed, his hands gripping Arthur’s thighs. He looks like he’s dying.

“Merlin, love, look at me…” Arthur entreats as he shifts to the left a little. The move allows Merlin’s cock to drag over Arthur’s prostate, and Arthur lets out a low moan, throwing his head back. When he rolls it back around, he finds Merlin staring at him with wide, lust-blown eyes.

“You’re really enjoying it, aren’t you?” Merlin asks, running his hands up Arthur’s bare torso. His fingers linger over Arthur’s nipples, teasing them, and Arthur hisses, lifting his hips and plunging down onto the stiff cock inside him.

“Fuck!” Merlin thrusts up. He pinches Arthur’s nipples, and they begin to fuck in earnest. Arthur is so turned on, his cock is a solid rod pointing straight at Merlin’s face as they rock.

“I wish I could reach it with my mouth,” Merlin laments, staring at it and licking his lips until Arthur moans again and lifts his hips higher—slamming down on Merlin full force.

“Mother of---“ Merlin moistens his palm with his saliva and begins stroking Arthur as Arthur continues to fuck him.

“You’re so beautiful Arthur…sitting on me. Riding me like this. So fucking hot.” Merlin twists his hand over Arthur’s cock. They’re both sweating and breathing hard. Merlin speeds up the motions of his hand on Arthur, and Arthur begins rotating is hips.

“Ohfuckohfuckohfuck…” It only takes moments for Merlin to cum, his legs opening wide on the bed as his hips bump Arthur up and down like some kind of wild carnival ride. Arthur shoots off with a yell of Merlin’s name, his spunk splattering up Merlin’s chest and onto his face. In an impatient move that takes Arthur completely off guard, Merlin yanks Arthur up by the waist until Arthur’s face is against the headboard, and begins enthusiastically licking the spunk off his dick and balls while Arthur gasps and wiggles at the sensation overload.

“Merlin, holy shit!” Arthur’s voice is strangled.

“God, you’re fucking delicious,” Merlin mumbles, his mouth full of Arthur’s right nut, and Arthur is too spent to do anything about it. He feels like a tiger cub being cleaned off by his mother, and he ends up just sagging over and letting him go to it.

They fall asleep in one another’s arms, exhausted, sticky, and giddily happy.

 

 


	16. chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An incident in the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments! I particularly love hearing from new people--perhaps coerced out of lurking? How many of you are faithfully reading and not saying anything? I'd love to know what's keeping you interested. :)  
> Thanks to you lovelies who always have something nice to say.
> 
> I promise, the story progresses beyond Merlin and Arthur getting one another off. Again.

The first thing Arthur is aware of is that someone is staring at him. He turns his head to better see the lean, gorgeous man beside him, all pale skin, blue eyes, and sleep-tussled black hair. He could almost believe he’s dreaming. Merlin leans on an elbow, smiling down at him.

“Good morning, Beautiful,” he greets Arthur. Arthur stretches, his eyes raking over Merlin’s nude form. Merlin’s half-hard cock is so delicious-looking lying against his pale thigh that Arthur has the immediate desire to take it into his mouth. Only the knowledge of where it had been the night before keeps him from doing it.

“Morning,” he answers lazily. “Did you sleep well?”

Merlin nods. “But for the past half hour or so, I’ve been watching you sleep.”

“Sounds boring,” Arthur notes.

“Oh, on the contrary,” Merlin runs a long finger up Arthur’s side. “I’ve enjoyed it very much.”

Arthur smiles before rolling off the bed and getting to his feet. He walks to the bathroom, feeling Merlin’s eyes upon him. He turns on the shower, adjusting the water temperature before heading for the sink to brush his teeth. Merlin appears behind him, leaning in to grab the extra toothbrush.

They shower together, lathering one another up, enjoying the feel of soap on their bodies. Arthur kisses Merlin, pushing him against the cool tile of the shower stall. His shower has a built-in seat, and Arthur slides down onto it, taking Merlin’s freshly washed cock into his mouth and sucking on it, pulling and licking. Merlin grasps Arthur by the hair, tugging his head, encouraging him. Arthur wants to put a wet finger inside Merlin but resists; he wants all the arse play to be nothing but easy and pleasurable for Merlin with plenty of lube used. He’s saving all of that for the upcoming weekend when they’re away. He let’s go of Merlin’s cock, which springs up to hit Merlin’s flat stomach, and Arthur moves his lips to mouth at the heavy sac hanging below.

“Shit, Arthur…fucking _yes_ …” Merlin moans, his eyes pinned on him. Merlin’s increasing excitement makes Arthur harder, and he opens up his mouth and takes the right side of Merlin’s sac in, weighing it on his tongue. He sucks it and lets it go, switching to the left side. Merlin’s legs shake, and his arse tenses beneath Arthur’s hands.

Arthur returns his attention to Merlin’s now rock-solid prick, licking it from base to tip before taking it in his mouth again. He lets go of Merlin’s left leg and reaches for his own cock, stroking it leisurely as he brings Merlin to climax, nursing the cock tip in his mouth until Merlin’s shouts of “Arthur!” fill his ears and salty coats his mouth. Arthur swallows it all, leaning back and pumping his wet cock until he shoots all over Merlin’s stomach and groin. Arthur never gets tired of seeing Merlin covered in his cum.

Breathless, they rinse off and get out, the water running cool.

After a big breakfast that Merlin insists on cooking, Merlin heads home and Arthur spends the rest of the day grocery shopping and doing research for work. That night Merlin calls to tell Arthur he loves him.

***

Monday morning Arthur’s face goes pink when Leon taps on his door. It’s Leon’s week to drive.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Leon says, helping himself to coffee from the percolator. Arthur is finishing up his own cup while reading the paper at the kitchen table.  He tries not let his mind’s eye see Leon and Percy on the floor, their mouths full of one another’s cock, but of course, that brings the image straight to his mind in vivid Technicolor. Fortunately, Leon isn’t paying attention. “I’m glad I took Thursday and Friday off. I got a lot done.”

“That’s good,” Arthur says, still not meeting the other man’s gaze. “Did you clean?”

“Yeah. And took a stack of shirts and suits to the cleaners. Also went to see my mum in Loughton. Percy came over Saturday night.”

Arthur clears his throat. “Things going well between you two?”

Leon leans against the counter, his body long and lithe in his well-cut business suit. Arthur notices he’s recently gotten a haircut and beard trim. “I like him. Too soon to say how deep the feelings go, but we get on. The sex is brilliant—he likes to try new things, and he’s very enthusiastic.”

Arthur has just relaxed and taken the last sip of his coffee—a little too much at once—and at Leon’s words, he chokes on it, spitting it halfway across the table. Leon is at his side in an instant, pounding him on the back.

“You alright, mate? Christ, Arthur, why such a prude? I have to listen to you and Merlin going at it through my bedroom wall.”

This brings on another round of coughing and sputtering from Arthur, who can’t seem to catch his breath. He definitely will _not_ relay to Merlin that Leon can hear them through the wall. He wonders why he hasn’t heard Leon before, and wonders if he and Merlin are just unusually loud?

Arthur stands and goes to the sink, running cold water on a dishrag and wiping his face with it. He doesn’t see coffee on his shirt or tie, so he puts on his jacket and proclaims himself ready.

“Oi, come on, or we’ll be late,” Leon exclaims, heading for the door.

They’re pulling out of Leon’s space when Arthur lets out a bark to stop the car.

“What the…” he hears Leon exclaim as Arthur jumps out, sprinting down the street after the figure that has spotted him and taken off at a run, already a block ahead. Arthur is dodging people, jumping over obstacles, getting cussed out by numerous pedestrians, but he’s determined not to let the stalker get away. He’s going to get to the bottom of this if it’s the last thing he does.

When he sees the man has managed to hail a cab, Arthur puts on a burst of speed and makes it to the taxi door just as the stalker’s leg disappears behind it.

Then three things happen at once: the door closes and the cab begins to pull away, Arthur hears Leon frantically shout his name from not too far behind him, and everything just stops.

***

It’s pitch black and deathly silent and then suddenly it isn’t.

All Arthur knows is Leon’s voice in his ear and the brightness of the morning sun against his eye lids; hot pavement underneath him, and talking all around.

“Arthur…can you hear me?” Leon’s garbled words suddenly make sense.

Arthur opens his mouth. His head hurts. Hell, _everything_ hurts. Other people’s words start to seep in.

“I didn’t see him! What the hell was he doing out in the middle of the street?”

“I called the police and an ambulance.”

“Is he okay? Don’t move his head!”

“Is that blood?”

It takes an extreme effort, but Arthur manages to open his eyes. Leon stares down at him, his face panicked. “Thank God!” Leon’s breath leaves his body like a balloon that’s been pierced, and he sags back on his haunches. “Don’t move, Arthur. Help is on the way.” Leon grasps Arthur’s hand in his, squeezing his fingers reassuringly, and Arthur knows he probably should be scared, but he’s too dazed. He just can’t seem to get himself together enough to think.

“Leon?” he says, his mouth finally working.

“Yeah, mate?”

“Did I by any chance get hit by a train?”

“No, just a lorry,” Leon’s voice wavers. “Fuck, Arthur, what the hell were you doing?”

Sirens herald the arrival of the ambulance.

***

Being checked over in the middle of the street and then loaded into an ambulance is at the bottom of Arthur’s list of things to do on a Monday morning. Of course, he wishes now that he’d never run after the stalker guy, but it’s a little too late to change things as he lies in the A&E wearing only a short gown and bandages all over his body.

Fortunately, the lorry only nicked him, sending him sprawling in the middle of the street. Arthur was very fortunate that someone else didn’t run right over him, Leon tells him. Leon also stresses that he, Leon, almost had two separate heart attacks: one when he saw Arthur go down, and another when the Volkswagen behind the lorry swerved to miss Arthur’s prone form lying in the middle of the street.

Voices in the hall outside the A&E room catch Arthur’s attention, and he recognizes one as Merlin’s. Leon has already told Arthur that he called Merlin immediately after he found out Arthur is going to be fine, and that he’d downplayed the incident considerably in order to keep Merlin calm while he drove there. Now Leon seems to be paying for it, for Merlin sounds extremely alarmed to find that Arthur is unable to leave yet and that the original story isn’t quite what happened.

“It’s just that we think he blacked out for a moment,” Leon’s saying as Arthur’s door flies open, Merlin barreling in with a slightly flustered Leon directly behind him.

“Holy fuck, Arthur, he said you _fell down!_ ”Merlin gasps, taking in the sight of Arthur’s bruising and bandaged body. He turns on Leon. “What the hell, Leon?”

“Okay, a lorry hit him, but…”

“WHAT?” Merlin collapses into a nearby chair, hands going to his hair to pull at it.

“I’m fine,” Arthur says, hating how weak he sounds. He clears his throat. “Really. It sounds worse than it is.” He tries to sit up, but Merlin jumps to his feet and puts a hand to Arthur’s shoulder.

“Don’t you dare,” he tells Arthur, sounding truly threatening. Arthur relents.

“I want the facts,” Merlin says then. He turns to Leon and adds, “The real ones.”

“Arthur took off running after someone and got hit by a lorry,” Leon replies. “Er…I’m going for a cup of coffee.” He leaves the room.

“Coward,” Arthur mutters.

“Was it a mugger?” Merlin asks, his eyes wide. “God, don’t be a hero, Arthur! Haven’t we had this conversation before about chasing nutters around?”

 _Uh, oh._ “Actually…”

Merlin’s eyes cloud. “It was the guy, wasn’t it? You were chasing that guy.” Merlin shakes his head. “I can’t believe this. You almost got killed chasing some guy just because he’s watching you.”

“I want to know who’s hired him,” Arthur insists.

“Is it worth getting killed?” Merlin asks. “You still think it’s Will, don’t you? Even though I told you there’s no way.”

“I don’t know who it is,” Arthur mumbles. His head hurts. _Everything_ hurts. He’s waiting for the results of his CAT scan, and then he can leave. _Why the fuck don’t they hurry?_

“Mr. Pendragon?” a nurse sticks her head around the curtain. _Thank God._ “Someone is here to see you.”

Arthur frowns, then nods, thinking perhaps it’s someone from the office, although he can’t imagine who. He just about falls off the narrow bed when he sees the stalker walk around the curtain.

“You!” Arthur breathes. Merlin steps forward, instantly aware. “This is the guy, Merlin!” Arthur points, his arm shaking.

The man holds up a hand as though to prevent Arthur from getting to his feet and chasing him again. “My name is Mordred Darkwater.” He hands Arthur his credentials, which name him as a private investigator working out of London.

“So I was right,” Arthur says, handing them back.

“Essentially,” Mordred says. “Only you claimed that the man who hired me can’t afford to keep me on indefinitely, which simply isn’t the case—he can do that and much more. He’s paid me a substantial sum to keep you from finding out his name. However, when I saw you get hit today, I called him, and he’s put a stop to the investigation. More’s the pity—the job was quite lucrative.”

“Who is he?” Arthur demands.

“He’s asked me to tell you he’ll be in touch shortly. And for you to stop playing superhero.” With that, Mordred turns and leaves.

Merlin sits in the chair by the bed. “Who do you think it is, Arthur?”

“Well, it’s not Will.” Arthur glances at Merlin apologetically. “Now that I’ve heard this, I have a pretty good idea. Gwen suggested recently that it could be someone in my family. I think it may be my father, although I’m not sure why. He certainly has the funds, though, and the message sounds like him.”

“You just saw him at Christmas, didn’t you?” Merlin asks.

Arthur colors. “Actually, no. I’m sorry, Merlin, but I lied about that. I didn’t have any holiday plans, but I couldn’t stand the thought of going to yours and seeing you and Will together. I just stayed at home.”

“Oh, Arthur,” Merlin bites his lip.

“Don’t feel sorry for me; it was my choice,” Arthur says gruffly. He puts a hand to his pounding head. “God, when will they ever let me out of here?”

“I’ll go see what I can find out,” Merlin tells him, getting up from the chair and slipping out of the room.

An hour later, Merlin gets Arthur back to his flat and comfortable in bed. Arthur has a bit of a concussion, but other than that only scrapes and bruises to show for his collision with the lorry. He can hear Merlin on the phone talking to Gwen, who seems to be offering to come and help, but Merlin tells her he’s taken a couple of days off. Arthur bemoans the fact that they’ll have to cancel their weekend plans when Merlin gets off the line with Gwen.

“Arthur, we really don’t need to go away to do all those things we want to do,” Merlin tells him, sitting on the edge of Arthur’s bed and watching while he takes his prescription pain killers. “We can do it all here in your posh bedroom.”

Arthur glances at the wall that he now knows is thinner than he’d realized. “Or maybe I’ll get another reservation,” he says. Merlin kisses him on the forehead and tells him to go to sleep for a bit. Arthur burrows down beneath the covers with Yoda curled up beside him and obeys.


	17. chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who continue to comment. Here is the chapter I couldn't quite finish this morning. The time change really gets to me!

The third time Merlin comes into the bedroom to check on Arthur, Arthur is already awake and staring at the wall beside the bed. His head hurts like a motherfucker. He has to admit it was really stupid to chase that Darkwater creep out into the road; he could have easily been killed.

He wonders why his father would put a tail on him. Usually Uther just left him alone.

The bedroom door opens.

“Feeling okay?” Merlin asks from the darkness.

“Head hurts,” Arthur answers. “You can sleep in here, you know.”

“I don’t want to disturb you.” Merlin sits on the bed.

“It might help me sleep, actually.”

Merlin makes a soft sound, somewhere between a disbelieving grunt and a verbal caress, and hands Arthur his pain medication.

“Thank God,” Arthur says, pushing himself up in the bed and greedily taking the pills. “I feel like my head’s about to explode.” He drinks down the water Merlin gives him and sets the glass on the bedside table.

“Poor baby,” Merlin tuts, running long fingers through Arthur’s hair as Arthur settles back down in the bed.

“Stay,” Arthur demands, wrapping himself around Merlin so he doesn’t have a choice. Merlin chuckles and scoots down. Yoda, who has been displaced to the bottom of the big bed, makes his way back up, sticking his head out from under the covers.

“There’s our love child,” Arthur notes, and Merlin laughs loudly, jostling Arthur’s head where it rests on Merlin’s chest. Arthur moans.

“Sorry, sorry,” Merlin kisses his crown apologetically.

“S’okay. My fault—I’m just too funny for my own good, I guess.”

“A regular comedian, you are.” Merlin runs his fingers over Arthur’s back. It feels heavenly, and soon Arthur is asleep.

***

Arthur is one big bruise. “I look like the last banana in the bowl,” he complains, coming slowly out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Merlin places a stack of pancakes on the table.

“It’s not quite that bad,” he tells him.

There’s a knock at the door to the flat, and Leon pokes his head in.

“Everyone decent?”

Simultaneously remembering Leon and Percy’s sexploits, Arthur and Merlin share a glance before hurriedly looking elsewhere.

“Come in,” Arthur manages at the same time Merlin asks, “Pancakes?”

“Perfect timing!” Leon grins, joining them and pulling a plate out of the cupboard. “Sleep okay, Arthur?” He winces, his gaze taking in Arthur’s dark bruising.

“Go ahead and say it. I look awful, don’t I?”

“You’re fine, goldilocks. Pretty as ever,” Leon winks. As Leon takes a seat, Arthur swears he sees Merlin stiffen at Leon’s words. He thinks his jealousy is cute.

“Merlin, is that your mobile?” Arthur asks, hearing its trill from the bedroom.

“Oh, yeah,” Merlin abandons pan and spatula and heads that way.

Arthur finds he can’t eat that much and pushes his plate across the table, telling his neighbor to finish his off. “Lord, how do you stay so slim?” Arthur asks, watching Leon devour both stacks.

“Lots of sex,” Leon answers, and Arthur feels his face reddening.

“Fuck, Arthur, what the hell’s gotten into you? I have had your dick in my mouth on more than one occasion, you know. Every time I bring up sex lately, you go all blushing virgin on me.”

“No, I don’t,” Arthur objects, studying his orange juice—it really is a rather lovely shade of orange.

“All right, then.” Leon pushes his plate away. “Didn’t you find Percy to be the most exquisite top? He can literally do push-ups over me…”

Arthur stands up from the table so fast his towel falls off. Leon stares as Arthur fumbles to pick it up, inadvertently mooning him in the process.

“Arthur, what’s going on?” Leon demands.

Arthur sighs, looking up at the ceiling, his muscles throbbing at the suddenness of his movements. He leans against the wall, towel clutched to his privates, because hey—even though Leon has sucked them, Arthur doesn’t think Merlin would approve of Leon looking at them now.

“Okay. The other night Merlin and I wanted to invite you out to eat with us, so we knocked on your door.”

Leon smiles, scratching his ginger-colored beard. “That was nice. Was I out?”

Arthur shakes his head, carefully, because it still aches. “We got worried because we could hear you inside, but you weren’t answering. Your door was unlocked, so…”

Leon raises his brows, looking at Arthur expectantly.

“You and Percy were, er, busy in the living room…on the floor…”

Leon appears to be thinking.

“Really busy.” Arthur finally sees a blush crawl up Leon’s neck as realization dawns.

“Oh. You saw?”

“Yeah,” Arthur says. “Sorry, mate. We left immediately. You didn’t even notice.”

Leon hums low in his throat, suddenly unable to look at Arthur. “I see.”

“Yeah.”

Merlin breaks the uncomfortable silence by breezing back into the room. Arthur notices immediately that he looks upset.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Will,” Merlin answers a little curtly, beginning to clean up the dishes.

“Leave that,” Arthur says. “What’s wrong with Will?”

“Just…I don’t know. More of the same.” Merlin turns around, leaning on the counter.

“Does he want you to come over?” Arthur finds he’s less bothered by this than he used to be, and realizes it must be because he feels more secure in his relationship with Merlin. “Merlin, it’s okay.”

“I told him I’m not leaving you when you’re hurt. And I’m not,” Merlin says flatly.

Leon stands. “I’ll be going. But if it’s any help, I’ll be home all day if Arthur should need me.”

“Thanks, Leon,” Arthur says, watching him go.

Merlin swings around as soon as the door shuts behind Leon. “I don’t need him to look after you!”

Arthur holds his hands up in surrender, and his towel drops to the floor again. He bends to pick it up, tucking it tightly around his waist. “O’kay! It’s up to you. But I’m fine, really.” He starts forward. Unfortunately, his head chooses that moment to object to all the movement, and he staggers. Merlin grabs him by the elbow and forces him to sit in a chair.

“I’m not leaving you, Arthur, and that’s final.”

***

As it happens, Arthur is far sorer than he was the day of the accident. Soon after his shower, he finds himself walking like his grandpa Pendragon, a little stooped over and shuffley.

“Oh, my God, just give me a pipe and an afghan for my knees to complete my metamorphosis!” he groans from his place on the sofa as Yoda sits at his feet, methodically grooming himself with his tongue.

“Sounds kind of sexy,” Merlin says with a grin, and Arthur makes a face.

“Oi. Don’t tell me you’ve got some kind of old man fetish.” He leans his head back on the mounds of pillows Merlin has brought out of the bedroom and sighs in his most put-upon manner.

“What a grumpy-puss,” Merlin chuckles. “This is a side of you I’ve never seen. Refreshing to know you aren’t perfect.”

“Yeah, well,” Arthur mumbles.

The doorbell rings, surprising the cat off Arthur’s lap.                       

“Who the hell uses the bell?” Arthur wants to know.

Merlin pulls himself up from the chair where he’s been trying to read while listening to Arthur moaning and groaning for the past hour. Arthur can feel his lips form a pout and knows he’s being difficult, but fuck—he _hurts_!

When Merlin returns a moment later, Arthur does a double take to see his father following behind him.

“Father?”

“Arthur, I hear you’ve forgotten one of the first rules I taught you about crossing the street,” Uther says, looming over where Arthur lies on the couch. “Look both ways.”

“I’m Merlin Emrys,” Merlin introduces himself. “A friend of Arthur’s.”

“He’s my lover,” Arthur corrects, only slightly regretting the embarrassment it causes Merlin. It’s worth it, though, to see the flash of annoyance on his father’s face.

“Yes, I know all about him. He’s figured prominently in Mr. Darkwater’s reports for months now.”

“Sit down, Father; it hurts my sore neck to look up at you,” Arthur says, turning his head away. His father takes a seat at the end of the couch. He’s still wearing his coat, although Arthur’s sure Merlin offered to take it from him. It’s going to be a short visit, then. Good to know.

“Why did you have me tailed?” Arthur asks quietly.

“I’m ready to retire. It’s come down to you or your sister as far as taking over the business. I wanted to see what you’re up to these days.”

Arthur is only slightly surprised. Uther Pendragon always does exactly what he wants to do, no matter how annoying or insulting.

“Didn’t we agree when I came out that it was preferable for both of us that I not work in the family business?” Arthur asks, careful not to show any emotion.

“That was five years ago,” Uther states, studying his son keenly.

“Yes,” Arthur agrees. “Nothing’s changed, Father. It isn’t as though I’m ever going to _not_ be gay.”

Uther takes a breath and lets it out. “Of course. Well. Other than your sexual proclivities, your life seems to be in order. You’ve done well for yourself. Morgana, on the other hand, has been sowing her wild oats in the south of France. Or was it Greece?”

Arthur raises a brow.

‘I would like you to consider taking over the company,” Uther says sternly.

“I’m not sure that I’m at all suited to do so,” Arthur replies. Merlin is standing a few feet away, watching their parley like a tennis match, and Arthur wonders what he makes of it.

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course you are, Arthur. You’re a Pendragon,” Uther snorts.

“Yes, well, I don’t know if I _want_ to take over the company,” Arthur restates.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Uther inquires, curious.

“It’s a very stressful job. Look what it’s done to _you_.”

Uther frowns. “You are being insulting.”

“Yes. I am.”

Uther rises to his feet. “Think it over. I’ll be in touch.” He leaves the room with a brief, barely polite nod at Merlin. They listen to the door click shut behind him.

“So that was your father,” Merlin says, staring after him.

“Yes,” Arthur replies, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

“I can’t say that I see much family resemblance there,” Merlin notes.

“Thank God,” Arthur murmurs. The cat comes out of hiding and hops back up on Arthur, resuming his grooming.

 

 


	18. chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments, everyone! I appreciate it so much and always look forward to hearing what you have to say.

Arthur finds that he has drifted off. When he awakens, the first thing he’s aware of is that Merlin is on the phone. He hears him talking softly nearby, and then his voice moving farther away into the kitchen area. Arthur blinks, the beige fabric of the sofa only inches from his face. Yoda is tucked behind his knees, a heavy sack of sleeping cat pinning Arthur in place.

There’s a comforting domesticity to the scene that lulls Arthur into another short bout of slumber before he’s awakened by a sharp expletive from Merlin. Arthur’s eyes fly open.

“Fuck it, Will! I am _not_ fucking abandoning you. I’ve always been here for you, and it’s fucking unfair for you to say that to me the very first time in _fucking forever_ that I can’t rush to your side!”

Arthur is a bit stunned. Most of the time, Merlin is pretty even-tempered, rarely showing anger for more than a brief moment now and then. Arthur himself is really much more volatile, although Merlin probably hasn’t seen the half of it yet. And perhaps that’s just it—he and Merlin are still getting to know one another. He has no idea what happens when Merlin’s buttons are really pushed.

Even more stunning to Arthur is the fact that Merlin is obviously furious with Will, the former object of all his sympathy.

Merlin’s voice lowers; he’s obviously remembered that Arthur is sleeping in the next room. Arthur can tell by the cadence of Merlin’s voice, though, that Merlin’s still angry and giving Will hell. Arthur shifts, jolting the cat awake and off the sofa. He turns over, tentatively stretching his aching muscles. His left side, which took the impact of the clip from the lorry, is the worst—terribly sore and mottled with bruises from his shoulder all the way down to his ankle. Arthur is very thankful that no bones were broken, or he would be in a far more miserable state.

Merlin’s voice rises slightly, and Arthur thinks perhaps it’s time to intervene—at least get a drink or something and interrupt the barrage of words Merlin is firing over the phone. He stands a bit too quickly, blood rushing to his already throbbing head, and teeters like a drunken man, knocking his battered knee on the edge of the coffee table in a uncoordinated move that brings a terrible jolt of pain coursing up Arthur’s leg.

Pulling in a breath, Arthur sways, struggling to right himself, but there isn’t anything within his limited reach to grasp onto. He falls back, aiming for the sofa but missing and landing on his tailbone with a thunderous boom that shakes the flat and actually brings tears to Arthur’s eyes, it hurts so badly.

Arthur hears Merlin’s mobile drop and skitter across the linoleum, and then Merlin is there, kneeling next to him, blue eyes big with concern.

“What happened? Did you fall off the couch? Oh, Arthur!” Merlin is obviously very disturbed by the sight of tears trickling down Arthur’s cheeks.

Arthur bites his lip hard, feeling silly. “I’m—fine.” He struggles to sit, but _ouch!_

“Oh, fuck, if I’ve bruised my arse, of all things, I’m going to be pissed!” Arthur almost shouts. Merlin gets behind him, hooking his arms under Arthur’s and helping to hoist him to his feet and then over onto the sofa. Arthur lies there, breathing hard, recovering.

“I just tried to get up too quickly, that’s all,” he finally says.

“I woke you, didn’t I,” Merlin states. “Sorry.” He suddenly appears to remember what he’d been doing. “Oh, shit!” Merlin runs into the kitchen, searching for his mobile. “I’ve knocked the battery right out of it,” he tells Arthur, coming back into the room.

“Merlin, please just go over and check on Will. I’m fine, honestly,” Arthur says, meaning it.

Merlin gives him a look. “Right. You just fell over. What if you’d hit your head? Christ, Arthur, just admit that you are _not_ fine.”

“Leon’s right next door…”

Merlin’s expression turns stormy. “You’re my boyfriend, and _I_ will take care of you! My therapist says Will has got to learn to manage. He has to develop a network of friends and stop relying just on me, and I’ve told him that.” Merlin pouts, looking at Arthur from under his dark lashes. “Unless you’d rather Leon look after you.”

“Good God, Merlin, get over here,” Arthur orders. When Merlin’s beside him, Arthur yanks him down to his level on the couch and kisses him senseless. “Shut up about Leon, will you? You know very well that I want _you_.” He kisses him again for good measure, running his tongue through Merlin’s warm mouth.

“Don’t exert yourself,” Merlin warns against Arthur’s lips, but his voice is warm as melted chocolate, and he’s already kissing Arthur back.

“My mouth and tongue are just fine, thanks,” Arthur replies, grasping Merlin’s head and kissing him again and again until he’s rendered him incapable of speech.

***

That evening Gwen arrives with a basket full of Arthur’s favorite cookies, various magazines, and ….”Oh my God, Gwen, _lube_?”

Gwen smiles. “I thought it might come in handy.”

The tips of Merlin’s ears go red.

“Well, maybe when I can move without flinching,” Arthur relents.

“It’s the flavored kind,” Gwen informs them, settling down at the end of the couch. Her face softens. “I’m glad you weren’t hurt any more than you were, Arthur. It scared me to death when Merlin told me what happened.”

“Not one of my finest moments,” Arthur replies, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Did you find out who had that man tailing you?” Gwen asks.

“You were right; it was Father.”

“But why?”

Arthur tells her of Uther’s business offer.

“What are you going to do?” Gwen asks.

“I don’t want to work for Pendragon Industries,” Arthur states flatly.

“Arthur… isn’t it time to bury the hatchet with your dad?” Gwen pushes.

Arthur doesn’t want to talk about it, so he clams up, something he’s very good at. Soon Gwen stops trying and watches television with Merlin.

Arthur isn’t angry at his father for being unaccepting of his sexuality. He’s just angry at him for being a shite father. He frankly just became tired of being reminded of how abnormal their family is, so he absenced himself from it. He feels that Morgana did the same for her own reasons. Arthur really doesn’t think that Uther cares, except that he can’t stand the thought of passing the company down to someone who isn’t family.

He falls asleep. The painkillers keep him in a constant doze-y state. He thinks Gwen and Merlin may be quietly discussing him, but he can’t wake up enough to verify it. And then it’s late, and Gwen is gone. Merlin tries to get Arthur to eat a sandwich, and he does eat some of it, before Merlin puts him to bed for the night.

***

It takes several days for Arthur to be able to walk around fairly normally. He goes to work on Thursday, but ends up coming home after lunch absolutely exhausted. His boss doesn’t mind; he’d told Arthur to take all week. Merlin hasn’t slept over since the second night, but they’ve been talking frequently on the phone. Arthur’s bruising has lightened a little, turning a greenish color on the edges, but Arthur still hates to look at himself in the mirror.

His father calls him as he’s eating dinner.

“Have you thought about what I said?”

“Yes, and I’m turning you down.” The very sound of his father’s voice causes him to lose his appetite, and he puts his fork down.

“Why is that, Arthur? You’re making a mistake.”

“I don’t think I am. I don’t want to be involved in the family company.”

“It’s your legacy.” Uther sounds extremely irritated, and Arthur can feel his own blood pressure rising.

“Father, I walked away from it, and I’m sticking by my decision. You’ll have to straighten Morgana up.”

“This is unacceptable. I’ll be in touch.” Uther hangs up.

Arthur grits his teeth, his nostrils flaring in annoyance. “Damn.” He puts his mobile down and runs his hands over his face. Rising from the table, he runs water over his dish and heads for the shower, running it hot and long.

Once he’s out, he calls Merlin to tell him goodnight.

“Did you have a good day at work?” he asks Merlin, enjoying this quiet time just before bed. Arthur wishes he had Merlin there beside him.

“It was average,” Merlin says. “Oh, I was able to re-book us a room at the same hotel in two weeks.”

“Brilliant!” Arthur smiles. “I hope by then I won’t look so terrible.”

“I don’t care what you look like, as long as you feel good,” Merlin tells him.

“I feel pretty good now.”

“How was your first day back? Are you tired?”

“Yeah,” Arthur admits. “More than I thought I’d be. I left a little early.”

“Oh, yeah? What time?”

“Sometime after lunch.” Arthur plays with Yoda’s ears, listening to the cat’s deep purr.

“Are you going tomorrow?”

“I don’t have to,” Arthur hedges. “I don’t know.”

“Just rest, Arthur,” Merlin encourages him. “By Monday you’ll feel so much better.”

Arthur knows Merlin’s right--he should give himself a chance to really heal. “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am. I’ll talk to you later.”

Arthur winds up sleeping most of Friday. Merlin stops by Friday night with some take-out for Arthur. He’s showered and changed clothes after work, and looks particularly nice in jeans and a dark T-shirt. “I thought I’d bring you some food by. I’m on my way to the movies--thought I’d spend a little time with Will since I’ve been pushing him away so much.” Merlin spills the explanation out so fast, Arthur wonders if he’s been practicing it on the way there.

“Okay,” he says, taking the bag. “Thanks for thinking of me.” He leans in and kisses Merlin. Merlin looks relieved.

“Did you think I’d be mad?” Arthur asked, turning and walking into the kitchen to set the bag on the counter. He opens it, and the delicious scent of Thai food floats to his nostrils. “Mmm…one of my favorites!” He smiles over his shoulder at Merlin.

“I didn’t know how you’d feel, frankly,” Merlin answers. “So you’re really okay with it?”

“I’m not going to dictate whom you can and cannot see,” Arthur says, pulling a plate out of the cabinet.

“Okay, then,” Merlin says with a grin. He tugs at Arthur’s shirt until Arthur turns around. Wrapping his arms around Arthur’s waist, Merlin kisses him. “Love you,” he says softly.

Arthur smiles. “Me, too. Have a good time.”

When Merlin’s gone, Arthur fixes his plate and eats in front of the television. He tells himself he isn’t jealous of Will and whatever long-standing bond he has with Merlin, but he kind of is. However, Arthur refuses to be _that guy_ who won’t let his significant other out of his sight. So he keeps his mind on the show he’s watching and doesn’t think about what Will might be saying to Merlin in order to try to get him back. He falls asleep and wakes to an info-mercial. Rubbing his eyes, Arthur turns off the telly and hauls himself to bed.

 

 


	19. chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, a little short.

On Saturday Merlin calls Arthur late morning.

“How was the movie?” Arthur asks, his mouth full of bagel. He pushes his stomach forward so that it’s over the sink and brushes crumbs off of it.

“We didn’t end up going,” Merlin tells him, his voice quiet. “Will was upset and wanted to talk. He was having one of his spells. He—he spent the night, Arthur. I wanted to let you know.”

Arthur’s stomach plummets, and he drops the bagel into the sink.

“Arthur? Hello?” Merlin says. “God, Arthur, on the _couch_! He’s on the couch. We stayed up most of the night, talking. I know we talked earlier about me coming to yours today, but as is, I’m not sure that it’s going to happen. I’m really sorry.”

Arthur swallows, feeling like his world has swallowed him up. He knows, just _knows_ that this is the beginning of the end. Will has gotten his hooks back into Merlin and is reeling him in. Their bond is too strong, and Arthur is a _stupid shite_ who just stood there and let it happen. “Okay,” he manages to say, continuing in his role as stupid shite.

“Arthur, I’m sorry, really. I’ll be by later if I can. Honestly, I haven’t seen him this way in a long time. He’s lost a lot of weight, and the nightmares are back…I’m trying to get him in with my therapist. In fact, I’ve put in a call to her office answering service.”

“I understand,” Arthur tells him. He leans against the counter, feeling sick.

“I’ll call you later. I love you, Arthur.”

When Merlin ends the call, Arthur just stands there, staring through the opening over the kitchen sink into the dining area beyond. He doesn’t even hear the tap at the door or Leon’s entrance.

“Are you okay?” Leon asks from behind him. “Arthur?”

Arthur turns, allowing Leon to see his despair and wrap his arms around him.

After a few moments of just holding Arthur, Leon says, “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Arthur tells him numbly.

“Are you and Merlin…over?” Leon looks into Arthur’s eyes.

Arthur shakes his head. He can’t bring himself to voice his fears yet. Leon leads him into the living room, picks out an inane movie, which in this case happens to be _Hot Rod_ , and sits down with him to watch, Arthur sinking onto Leon’s shoulder.

By the time it’s over, Arthur feels a little better. He fixes some tea and tells Leon everything.

His friend listens patiently, turning things over in his head before replying. Arthur waits, dreading to hear all his fears confirmed.

“I don’t know, Arthur,” Leon finally says. Arthur eases back on the sofa, working his lower lip between his teeth and staring into his cup. “As your friend, I feel a certain amount of allegiance to you. I know how much you care about Merlin…how much you love him…and how long you’ve felt this way and have waited for him. And I don’t like your heart being trampled on. Part of me wants to just tell the little wanker off.”

Arthur frowns, instantly wanting to come to Merlin’s defense. Leon senses this and raises a hand to stop him.

“But I have to take into consideration that Merlin and Will have a long history that’s based on friendship. He isn’t going to drop Will completely if he can help it, particularly when the guy is in such a bad mental and emotional state. And what kind of a guy would he be if he did? You’ve been very patient and understanding, Arthur. I think Merlin appreciates that very much—it’s something I don’t think he’s accustomed to.”

Arthur considers this. Leon’s probably right—Will was unlikely to have been the most understanding boyfriend in the world.

“I really think it’s going to be okay. You don’t have much of a choice but to wait and see, do you?” Leon smiles.

Arthur laughs shortly. “No. I’m in too deep. It just…it just really hurt to hear that Will stayed the night at Merlin’s last night.”

“On the couch, remember,” Leon says, stretching his long legs out and plopping his bare feet in Arthur’s lap, wiggling his toes.

“Right,” Arthur says, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Thanks, Leon. I really needed your cool head.” He looks at him slyly. “Speaking of head, have you seen Percy lately?”

Leon immediately colors. “You’re not going to let me forget that, are you?”

Arthur laughs loudly. “No. Better start locking the door or using the bedroom, mate.”

There’s a knock from the foyer and both men turn their heads.

“Expecting company?” Leon asks, swinging his legs down in order to rise.

“No…I just hope it isn’t my father. I can’t deal with him on top of everything else,” Arthur answers, watching Leon cross the room and open the door.

Merlin stands on the other side, and as Arthur moves toward the foyer, he clearly sees Merlin’s surprise at seeing Leon.

“Hey, Merlin, come on in,” Leon stands aside. “We’ve been watching a movie. I’m heading back to mine, Arthur, see you!” Leon waves and tactfully leaves.

Arthur’s body is stiff but less sore. Still, it protests as Arthur turns back around to head to the living room again. “I thought you didn’t think you’d be able to come,” Arthur says.

“Will insisted on leaving,” Merlin tells him as he follows, drawing close to Arthur once they stop by the sofa. He lays a hand on Arthur’s arm. “Said he felt bad for taking up all my time.”

Arthur finds he can’t do much of anything but stare into Merlin’s eyes.

“I’ve missed you, Arthur.”

“I’ve been right here,” Arthur reminds him.

“I know, but…you’re kind of fragile right now.”

Arthur smiles. “Not so fragile.”

“Are you angry with me?” Merlin asks, his eyes twin pools of uncertainty.

“Of course not,” Arthur tells him. “I understand. That doesn’t make it easy, though.

Merlin lifts his hand and touches Arthur’s face. “No need for you to worry; I thought about you the entire time.” He pulls Arthur into a light embrace, careful of his sore body.

“Tonight was going to be a big night,” he reminds Arthur when they step apart.

“We’ll have that,” Arthur promises, tugging him close again and kissing one sharp cheekbone.

Gently, Merlin runs his hands over Arthur’s chest. “It makes me crazy seeing Leon here with you.”

Arthur raises a brow. “We were watching _Hot Rod_.”

Merlin frowns. “Is that a porn flick?”

“No!” Arthur laughs. “Merlin, Leon’s just a friend.”

“I know. It still makes me crazy. It makes me want to touch you…make sure you know you’re mine.” Merlin curls his fingers under the waistband of Arthur’s sweatpants and tugs them down along with the pants underneath. Arthur moves his feet apart just a little to help ease their passage.

When Merlin touches Arthur’s arse, Arthur sighs, it feels so good. “I want to suck you,” Merlin says plaintively into Arthur’s ear, his breath rustling the hair resting against the tip and sending tremors down Arthur’s spine. “May I?”

“You don’t have to ask,” Arthur tells him hoarsely. “I’m yours, Merlin.”

Merlin leans back, looking into Arthur’s eyes a moment before dropping to his knees and burying his nose in the wheat-colored hair surrounding Arthur’s stiffening cock.

“Mmm…”Merlin murmurs, careful to keep his right hand gentle on the bruising on Arthur’s left leg as he runs his fingers over bare skin sparsely covered in bristly blond hairs. He flicks his tongue out to taste Arthur’s balls, and Arthur trembles, gasping. “Like that, do you?” Merlin does it again, and again, before sucking one soft nut into his mouth. Arthur grasps Merlin’s head, tugging dark hair with his fingers. Merlin kneeling before him, mouth open and taking in Arthur’s sac is a sight to behold. It’s been a while for them, and Arthur is on edge, his arse tense under Merlin’s steadying hands.

“Suck me, Merlin,” Arthur pleads, and Merlin straightens his back, reaching around to take Arthur’s erection in his hand and guide it into his mouth.

It feels glorious—the wet, hot, sucking tunnel around his prick, and Arthur throws his head back, moaning loudly as desire pools at the base of his groin. When he opens his eyes, it’s to see Merlin looking up at him, his cheeks hollowed out, nursing on Arthur for all he’s worth.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum…” Arthur warns, his balls tightening. Merlin flutters his lashes playfully, and Arthur’s gone. He shoots into Merlin’s mouth, watching as Merlin sucks it down, swallowing, a dribble of spunk escaping the corner of those beautiful lips for Arthur to catch on a shaking finger.

“Fuck, fuck…just fuck, Merlin,” Arthur collapses back on the couch, his pants around his legs. Merlin steps forward, unzipping his jeans, and pulls out his long erection.

“Oh, Arthur,” he says, teeth gritted as he works his hand quickly over his cock, his eyes zeroed in on Arthur, who intently raises his finger still glistening with his own cum and lewdly licks it off. “So fucking beautiful…ahhhh…” Merlin shoots, semen spurting and landing on Arthur’s bare legs and groin. Arthur feels residual tingles of desire at the sight, his legs jerking a little.

“Wow,” he says, smiling, too tired to even pull up his pants.

“Yeah,” Merlin agrees, sagging at Arthur’s feet. “Wow.” He sighs contentedly.

 

 

 


	20. chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A much-needed discussion. A mum. A dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this before work. I hope it isn't riddled with errors. Your comments have been great, particularly on the dynamics of the A/M relationship. Discussions on the topic are encouraged, as I find it interesting to see the different ways in which you take it.  
> The whole Merlin/Will thing is taken partly from personal experience, though in a very different light. 
> 
> Note...got home and found an error in the first sentence! It is pretty full of errors, sorry. I've gone through and cleaned it up.

Merlin stays the night, not heading back to his place until late the next day. The therapist’s office calls Merlin early that morning, giving Will an appointment for the following afternoon.

“So I guess you’ll be taking him, then,” Arthur says in what he hopes passes for a casual tone.

“You don’t think I should, do you?” Merlin asks. They’re still lying in bed, lazy and sated from a morning of Arthur slowly riding Merlin in the early dawn hours. Arthur’s head lies in the crook of Merlin’s shoulder.

“I think he should learn to stand on his own or at least to lean on someone else a little,” Arthur replies truthfully, his voice quiet against the backdrop of the twittering of birds outside the window and a few thumps from surrounding flats. Arthur feels better for just having said it. His eyes are on Merlin’s flat stomach and the dark hair trailing from Merlin’s navel down to the now-limp cock resting on a pale thigh. Merlin doesn’t tense or move away. He’s quiet for a while as though thinking.

“Maybe I’ll call Percy or Gilly. No…not Percy. But Gilly does know a bit of Will’s history, so that would probably be okay.”

Arthur moves back against the pillows so he can see Merlin. “I’m not trying to make things difficult, but you can see it from my side, can’t you?”

Merlin nods, studying Arthur’s face. “I’ve wondered how you’ve been this patient for so long, and I guess I’ve taken advantage.” He squeezes his eyes shut, suddenly frustrated. “It’s so hard, Arthur. You’ll just have to believe me when I say that Will went through something horrific when he was younger. And I know the nightmares and panic attacks are real because I’ve witnessed them for years, although I’m sure being apart from me has made them worse—I know, I know,” Merlin opens his eyes, holding up his hand as Arthur starts to protest. “That can’t stop me from living my life as I want to.”

Merlin sighs. “I’ve wondered more than once how much of it is just Will trying to hold onto me.” He takes Arthur’s hand from where it lies on the white sheet and kisses it, and Arthur squeezes Merlin’s long fingers. “It’s impossible to tell.”

“Remember what you said to me before?” Arthur asks, pride pushing him along, even though being so close to Merlin only makes him want to spend the time wrapped around him doing nothing but being contented in his presence. “About not being a doormat?”

Merlin looks at him, eyebrows lowering. “Yeah.”

Arthur licks his lips, heart beginning to pound. “Well, I’m not one, either.”

Merlin shakes his head. “I don’t want you to be a doormat, Arthur…”

“I know that. But I feel like one sometimes, always waiting for you like I am. Always trusting that you and Will are just being platonic.” Arthur frowns, rolling to his back, suddenly upset. “It _hurts_ , Merlin.”

“ _Arthur_ ,” Merlin’s voice is heavy with regret. “I haven’t meant to make you feel that way.”

Arthur stares at the ceiling. “I didn’t really think you did, but all the same, I do feel it.”

“Are you upset about Will staying over?” Merlin asks, scooting closer and resting his chin on Arthur’s shoulder.

“I didn’t like it.” Arthur turns his head suddenly and the words are out before he can think. “Leon stayed that night with me.”

Merlin reels back, his expression quickly going from shock to hurt to anger. Arthur reaches out quickly, grabbing Merlin’s wrist. “He didn’t. But do you see how it feels? And Leon and I barely had a relationship, Merlin. You and Will have a serious history, and knowing that he was with you …all night in the apartment you shared with him for two years…it really hurt me!”

Realization begins to dawn on Merlin’s face, and Arthur lets go of his wrist, settling back down in the bed. “I’m not trying to get back at you, Merlin. I’m just trying to let you know before this builds up and becomes something too big for me to handle.”

Merlin nods, and Arthur slowly climbs out of bed. His muscles are paying for his morning activity, although he tried to be careful. The look on Merlin’s face as Arthur lowered himself on Merlin’s erect cock had been worth it, though, as well as his own satisfying orgasm.

“I’m going to take a hot shower---I’m a little sore,” he tells Merlin, leaving him to think things over.

Later, before Merlin leaves for his place, Merlin holds Arthur, loving and kissing him for a long time by the door. “I’m sorry I’ve been so thoughtless. I’m pretty shite at this boyfriend stuff.”

Arthur sucks at Merlin’s lips and tells him truthfully that he loves him more than ever.

***

Monday Arthur almost feels normal at work and Tuesday is even better. By Wednesday, all of Arthur’s bruising is a sickish yellow and green, and his soreness can be controlled with over-the-counter pain reliever.

According to Merlin, Will puts up a terrible row at the plan of Gilly taking Will to the therapist and cancels the appointment. Merlin is so angry and frustrated, he rants for half an hour about it over the phone to Arthur Monday night. Arthur wants to go over to Will’s and shake him like a disobedient dog before lecturing him about getting his act together, but he just listens to the rant. Merlin then apologizes for making him listen before announcing that he’s going to call his mum for advice, since she knows Will and might come up with something helpful.

By mid-week, Merlin manages to get Will to the therapist with Gilly, and Arthur is very glad that Merlin doesn’t cave and go with him. 

As they are walking home after meeting at the pub Thursday evening after work, Merlin brings up something unexpected. Arthur's still too sore to resume their runs, and they haven’t seen one another since Sunday at Arthur’s flat. Arthur's thinking about how much he's missed Merlin--that he doesn’t even realize how much he does miss him until Merlin is actually there with him again. Merlin breaks the comfortable silence.

“Arthur, I need to ask you something."

“What is it?” Arthur asks, squeezing Merlin’s fingers that are entwined with his as they stroll down the darkening street. He glances at Merlin, who is biting his lip nervously, and gives his hand a little shake. “Come on, out with it. I thought something’s been on your mind tonight.”

What Arthur doesn’t say is how he’s been filled with trepidation about it…what’s on Merlin’s mind? Is he thinking of moving Will back in with him so he can watch over him? But deep down, Arthur knows that Merlin wouldn’t do this, especially now that Arthur’s told him how he feels on the subject.

“It’s my mum,” Merlin says. “She wants to meet you.”

His words take Arthur completely off guard, and he stops in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing other pedestrians to move around them. “What?”

Merlin seems genuinely nervous. “I’ve told her all about you—there was no getting round it, now that Will’s out of the flat and all. You don’t mind, do you?”

Arthur blinks. The fact that Merlin has told his mother about him fills him with joy. “Of course not.”

“Well, she wants us to come for a visit. Only thing is, it’s on the weekend we’d planned to get away.”

And here Arthur had been worried that Merlin was going to say something so much worse! He tosses his head back and laughs, throwing Merlin into a state of confusion.

“Of course, Merlin!” Arthur pulls Merlin into a hug. “I’d love to meet your mother. Cancel the reservations, and we’ll go to Ealdor instead.”

“Are you sure?” Merlin asks, a small smile playing about his mouth. “Mum’s awfully smother-y and mum-like.”

Arthur grins happily. “You know I’ve never had a mum, right? I think yours sounds brilliant.” They begin to walk again.

***

“Arthur, you are being pig-headed and utterly nonsensical,” Uther’s voice rings in Arthur’s ear. It’s Saturday night, and Arthur is at Merlin’s flat, curled up on the sofa with him. Uther’s call has interrupted their snogging, and Arthur is not amused.

“Father, why is it you want to retire, anyway?” Arthur sighs, the feel of Merlin’s soft hair against his fingers the only thing keeping him calm.

“The arthritis in my hands is getting quite painful,” Uther answers. Arthur knows he wants no sympathy. “And I would like a few years to supervise you as head of the company before I remarry and do some traveling.”

“Remarry? You have a girlfriend, then?” Arthur queries.

Uther lets out a huff. “No time for that at the moment, but I will take care of that when the time comes.”

Arthur rolls his eyes, picturing his father’s checklist of things to do with _find prospective wife_ somewhere in the middle.

“Have you called Morgana?” Arthur asks, fingers massaging Merlin’s neck until he hums against Arthur’s chest.

“Morgana is currently on a yacht somewhere on the Mediterranean with a man called _Guido_ ,” Uther replies curtly. “Arthur, I would like you and your friend—Merlin, was it? --to come out to our country estate at the end of the month to stay a week. A vacation of sorts.” He clarifies. “Please discuss it with him and get back to me.”

Once again, Uther disconnects without a goodbye. Arthur stares at the phone before chucking it over to the chair. Merlin raises his head.

“Your father, I take it?”

Arthur nods.

“Why don’t you want to head your family’s company, Arthur?” Merlin asks, planting a kiss on Arthur’s jaw.

“The short of it is, I don’t want to be like my father,” Arthur replies. “But he won’t take no for an answer, and now he’s ordering us to visit at the end of the month at his country estate.”

“Us? You mean, me included?”

Arthur nods, looking down at Merlin. “What would you think about that?” Arthur can’t believe he’s actually considering it. “Could you get the time off, do you think?”

Merlin smiles. “I think I probably could. It might be fun.”

 

 


	21. chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to meet Hunith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains a brief mention of sexual violence.
> 
> Sorry I've taken so long to get this up. As always, thanks for your kudos and comments.

Arthur and Merlin resume their runs. Merlin tells Arthur about how Hunith has been calling Will nightly to talk with him, and Arthur tells Merlin how Uther has been calling Arthur nightly and to talk with _him._

“I swear,” Arthur says as they round a bend, the evening air balmy on their sweaty skin and the pavement hard beneath their feet, “It started when he called one night last week very late all disconcerted—which is the closest my father can get to being freaked out—about the whole Mordred Darkwater thing. Evidently it finally occurred to him that his actions almost got me killed. So I had to talk him down off that ledge, which in our family isn’t quite what you’d imagine. A lot of polite bollocks, really.”

Merlin shakes his head, “You Pendragons are definitely a different breed, although mostly you’re very sweet, Arthur.” He gives Arthur a soft glance as they round a bend.

Arthur colors a little at the compliment, and muses over his father’s recent calls. “Since we stopped talking about the P.I., Father’s gone on to other subjects. He worries a lot about Morgana…more than I would have thought. He wants me to text her or talk with her on ‘one of those social networking things.’ I said I would.”

Merlin’s smile is wide. “I think that’s brilliant! I’ve always wanted a sister.”

“Well, you can have her,” Arthur grumbles, but a part of him is glad for the excuse to contact Morgana. He hasn’t spoken with her in a long time.

As the time nears to go to Ealdor and meet Merlin’s mother, Arthur becomes increasingly nervous. He simply doesn’t know how to do mothers. He’s grown up in the most stilted of families, without anything even remotely resembling a nurturing female. What if Hunith doesn’t like him? What if she doesn’t approve? What if she encourages Merlin to go back to Will?

The thought makes Arthur physically ill.

“God, stop worrying, Arthur,” Gwen tells him over the phone. “Who would pick an emotionally unstable, clingy man over you? You’re such a giving, decent human being.”

“Thanks for that, but she must like him some…Merlin grew up with him,” Arthur points out.

“She wants to meet you. Be yourself, Arthur.”

Arthur decides Gwen is right, and pushes his fears aside as best he can. He and Merlin only manage to see one another on their runs and for a movie over the weekend before their trip, as Merlin has to work extra hours in order to be able to take off the time at the end of the month to visit Uther. The trip to Ealdor is a long one by train, taking up most of Friday night, and the two men arrive at the little station close to three A.M. They catch a cab to Merlin’s mother’s, which is the small house that Merlin grew up in.

Merlin fumbles with the key in the lock. His mother has left a small lamp on in the foyer, and a snack in the kitchen. They put their bags in the downstairs guest bedroom and whisper as they share digestives and milk at the square kitchen table. Arthur’s eyes are heavy with sleep, but he wants to prolong these moments in the quiet house with the full moon shining in the tiny window over the sink. A clock is ticking from somewhere in the next room.

“Is your old bedroom upstairs?” Arthur asks curiously.

“Yeah. Uncle Gaius sleeps in it now. Mum likes having someone upstairs with her,” Merlin replies, popping the last digestive in his mouth and chewing. They clean up their mess and head for the guest room where they quietly get ready for bed.

The sheets smell wonderful, as if Hunith hangs them out in the sunshine to dry, and Arthur buries his face in them. Merlin is a warm presence beside him that Arthur revels in, and when Merlin curls his fingers around Arthur’s, nothing could feel so perfect.

The next thing Arthur knows, daylight peaks through the heavy draperies and he’s alone in the bed staring at the pink roses on the wallpaper. He rises and crosses to the old-fashioned mirror over the slightly battered dresser, trying to flatten out his hair. There’s a noise outside the door, and Merlin appears, fully dressed in dark jeans and a navy T-shirt.

“You’re up! Good-morning.” He kisses Arthur’s cheek before handing him a steaming cup of coffee. “I was excited to see Mum and couldn’t sleep. I’ve been up for a while chatting with her.” Merlin’s smile is wide and there are two spots of color on his high cheekbones. Arthur accepts the coffee.

“Cheers,” he says, taking a sip.

“You’re saluting me,” Merlin notes wryly, and Arthur follows the line of Merlin’s gaze to where Arthur’s morning erection pokes at his pyjama bottoms. “Want me to take care of that?” Merlin raises a brow.

“God, no, Merlin! Not in your mother’s house!” Arthur is scandalized at the very thought.

Merlin laughs delightedly. “She knows I’m gay, Arthur! She’s not about to come in here, and she did give us the room together, after all. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s caught me at it, anyway.” He gives Arthur a wicked wink that only serves to make Arthur’s erection throb and drip a little. Of course, Merlin notices. He reaches out and touches the tip. “I still want you to fuck me, you know,” he tells Arthur. “Maybe we should just forget the big production, yeah?” He rubs pre-cum through the cotton, and Arthur has to set his cup on the dresser before he spills it all. He realizes that Merlin is right, of course. Just because Hunith is a mother doesn’t make her a nun. And she did give them the bedroom…

“Not here, Merlin. I do want to take it slow. Just…just suck me, yeah?” he gasps out.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Merlin drops to his knees, baring Arthur in a matter of seconds and enveloping him in his warm, soft mouth. It doesn’t take long for Arthur, as he stands, feet apart, pumping as gently as possible into Merlin’s eager mouth, and Merlin swallows it all, pronouncing it “lovely” as he licks his lips and looks up at Arthur with soft eyes.

Arthur gives a shaky laugh. “Can I get a shower before meeting your mum?”

“Absolutely. She’s getting dressed herself. Bathroom’s next door. Gaius should be awake soon, too.” Merlin helps Arthur get his pyjama pants back up and rises to his feet.

***

An hour later, Arthur wonders why he ever worried in the first place. Hunith is the nicest, most pleasant person he could ever hope to meet, and Gaius, although a bit frightening looking with bushy grey eyebrows that rise and dip like separate entities, is quite friendly and accepting. When Hunith takes Arthur aside and tells him that she thinks he’s good for Merlin, Arthur thinks he’s going to burst with relief and happiness.

“He needs someone like you in his life,” Hunith says, looking up at Arthur with earnest, round eyes. “Stable, loving, patient. Although I think the patience bit has taken a toll on you, am I right?”

It’s as though an arrow has pierced his heart, and Arthur is dismayed when his nose begins to sting and his eyes to pool with tears. Hunith tuts and pulls him in for a tight, motherly hug, the first he’s ever had, and Arthur trembles in her embrace. He’s glad that Gaius and Merlin are around the corner in the kitchen and aren’t witnessing his breakdown. When he pulls away, he apologizes profusely on a shuddering breath, wiping his wet eyes with his sleeve.

“It’s alright, luv,” Hunith strokes Arthur’s cheek, unintentionally making Arthur’s face crumple even more with her maternal kindness. “Run downstairs and get yourself sorted. I’ll just tell Merlin you’ve gone to the loo.” Hunith pats his shoulder, and Arthur gives her a watery smile before doing just that.

***

“Gaius has asked me to help him shop for a suit,” Merlin tells Arthur a little later. Arthur has recovered from his emotional moment, with Merlin none the wiser. He’s just finished sending his sister a text message, the third he’s tried. He’s not sure if she’s ignoring them, or if her mobile can’t receive them out in the middle of the ocean. He looks up expectantly at Merlin, who appears uncomfortable.

“Okay, well, I’ll be fine here, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Mum wants to take you to lunch,” Merlin says. “Do you mind?” He twists his long fingers, and Arthur realizes that Merlin is nervous.

“Of course I don’t mind, Merlin,” he says sincerely, “I think your mum is wonderful.”

Merlin raises his eyes to meet Arthur’s. “Really? I was a bit afraid…I mean. I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Everything’s so simple here.”

Arthur looks around. He guesses the house really is a bit small and simple, but it’s charming and cozy. “I felt comfortable here from the moment I walked in,” he assures Merlin, wondering exactly how his boyfriend sees him. Rich, posh, snobbish? Surely not the last. But he supposes, if he tries, he can see things from Merlin’s point of view. Arthur’s flat is expensive and it’s quite obvious that his father is rich. “Merlin,” he leans forward, placing his hand on Merlin’s leg. “I would trade everything I have to have grown up here with Hunith for a mother,” he tells him sincerely.

Merlin regards Arthur for a long moment, his eyes wide with wonder that slowly turns to understanding. Finally, he nods. Leaning in, he kisses Arthur softly on the lips.

“Have a nice lunch with Mum,” he says, before disappearing upstairs.

Hunith takes Arthur to a nice little restaurant that serves various home-made soups and breads. They find a secluded table in the back and sit together, talking amicably.

“Merlin would never break a trust,” Hunith says suddenly, right in the middle of a polite discussion about the Queen. “But Arthur, I know he’s serious about you. And you him.” She stares at Arthur meaningfully until Arthur nods.

“I love him,” Arthur says, his voice husky. Oh, God, is this woman going to make him _cry_ in the _restaurant?_

“I know you do; I can tell it as only a mother can. And I want you to know Merlin is worth your love. Every bit of pain and indecision you’ve been through, Arthur, although you’ve probably wondered sometimes.” Hunith gestures for Arthur to eat his soup, and Arthur automatically obeys.

“So, I’m going to tell you something that Merlin won’t, not because he doesn’t love you enough, but because he would never break Will’s trust. I just feel that if you’re going to be stuck in the middle of all this like you are, then you should know the whole story.”

Arthur nods, several different things going through his mind, the foremost being that he agrees with Hunith; he has a right to know, and she’s the one to tell him.

“When Will was ten, he witnessed his mum being violently raped and murdered.”

Arthur drops is spoon in his bowl with a clatter, his stomach suddenly protesting violently.

“Sorry, but there really isn’t any cushioning it,” Hunith apologizes. “It was a break-in, and Will was hiding in the closet. Will’s father drowned himself in drink for years after, leaving Will basically to make it on his own, and as Will’s best friend, Merlin’s always been there for him. Merlin’s fiercely loyal and protective, and he literally pushed Will through school, although no amount of coercing could get the boy to fill out the papers for university.”

Arthur thinks that this may explain Will’s behavior in the bedroom somewhat. Seeing something like that probably keeps him from ever wanting to be the submissive in a relationship, and it also has stunted his ability to forge a loving and mutually pleasing sex life. Although Arthur is sure that Will’s feelings of love for Merlin are real, something just as real drives Will to turn his back on Merlin and cheat—and Arthur believes that quite possibly it’s resentment. Perhaps Will finds himself simply hating the sight of Merlin sometimes-- the man who’s been forced into the role of his savior for so long. In spite of himself, Arthur can’t help feeling a bit for Will. He can just so clearly see how the man is probably feeling.

“Thank you for telling me this, Hunith. I knew everything except what it was exactly that Will had witnessed.”

Hunith nodded. She ate some of her soup, and they were quiet for a moment. “Merlin told me all about you, Arthur, months ago when he first met you,” she said conversationally a bit later.

Arthur is surprised at this, and looks up from his food. “He did?”

Hunith nods. “Oh, yes. He was so impressed with you, and perhaps a bit bowled over that someone like you would single out someone like him.”

Arthur frowns. “Someone like him?” He shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”

Hunith looks at Arthur for a long moment before replying. “You really don’t, do you? Arthur, you are a very, very handsome man.”

Arthur blushes. “So is Merlin.”

Hunith smiles brightly at that. “I have to agree with you there, but surely you realize you’re different? Well-to-do…blond, blue-eyed…oh, Arthur, surely you’ve gotten a lot of attention all your life.”

Arthur can’t deny that. “I have, but I still don’t understand why Merlin was surprised I wanted to be friends.”

“He was.” Hunith nodded. “He liked you right away, though. He told me many times how much he enjoyed talking with you on your runs, and I could tell it was becoming a problem between him and Will. Your friendship fed something inside of Merlin that he really needed…all the talk of books and such. As his mum, I always thought there was a bit more to it, but I never said anything.”

“I was attracted to Merlin from the very beginning,” Arthur admitted, “but we were both in relationships. Mine ended shortly after, largely due to the fact that my boyfriend could tell how much I liked Merlin. But no matter how I tried to let Merlin know my feelings, he seemed very much attached to Will.”

“I don’t think Merlin had a clue that you liked him,” Hunith said. “He certainly never let on to me. My Merlin can be quite oblivious. But once he figured it out—I assume you had to spell it out to him? Well, he was in a quandary, then. His entire relationship with Will has been a comfortable thing. It’s just always been there, and Merlin’s only had a fling here and there when Will’s been off somewhere else. It’s been difficult for him to break things with Will like this, but it’s been good for him, too. That’s why I’m stepping in to help out. I want you and Merlin to have every chance to make things work.”

Arthur feels such relief at her words that he actually sags in his seat. “There, now,” Hunith pats Arthur’s hand. “Don’t you worry; things are going to look up from here.”

***

Hunith cooks a wonderful dinner, and as they eat, Arthur tries to figure out how the woman managed to get so much personal information out of him over a relatively short lunch. She learned all about his childhood and family, such as it was, along with his current situation with his father. She even declared that she must meet Uther, something that terrifies Arthur to even contemplate.

Merlin and Gaius joke about the suit Gaius bought making him look like he belongs in the mafia. Merlin’s eyes are often on Arthur during the meal of roast and potatoes, caressing him like his fingers would if they were alone. When Merlin’s mobile rings and he checks it, he excuses himself from the table. Everyone can hear him as his voice starts to rise.

“Of course I care, but there simply isn’t anything I can do.” There’s a pause, and the three people around the table look at one another. “I did tell you, Will. In fact, I told you several times… We’re here until tomorrow when we catch the train back… Yes, Arthur is most certainly with me. I can’t believe you’re saying this to me! That is so goddamn unfair!”

Hunith gets up from the table and leaves the room. Arthur hears her soft voice and thinks she may be taking the phone from Merlin. Arthur clears his throat, asking Gaius to pass the potatoes. When mother and son return to the dining room several minutes later, their faces are subdued.

“Everything all right?” Gaius asks.

Merlin gives a curt nod and sits down.

“Don’t you worry about it, Merlin,” Hunith says. “This is out of your control.”

Merlin’s pale face reddens. “I feel like it is in my control, though, Mum.”

“That’s because Will wants you to,” Hunith says. “And that’s got to stop.”

After dinner, Hunith and Gaius go for a walk and Arthur and Merlin retreat to the guest room.

“Are you okay?” Arthur asks Merlin, touching Merlin’s shoulder.

Merlin nods. “I guess. I’m sorry that happened. I want you to have a good time here.”

“I am,” Arthur tells him. “Really. Your mum is lovely, and Gaius is very nice.”

They both sit down on the bed, and suddenly they’re in one another’s arms, mouths eagerly pressed together. “Merlin, I love you,” Arthur breathes, and Merlin’s mouth opens for him, their tongues tangling. They fall onto their backs, and Arthur rolls onto Merlin, kissing him fervently, enjoying the feel of Merlin’s arms wrapped around his neck and his legs pressing against Arthur’s sides.

“Oh, Arthur, I want you so much,” Merlin groans. “You just don’t know.”

Arthur palms Merlin’s crotch, delighted to feel the bulge there. He rubs it as he kisses Merlin, finally undoing Merlin’s jeans and sliding his hand inside. Merlin squirms, pushing his jeans and pants down, letting Arthur play with him as they kiss.

Arthur fondles Merlin’s cock, sliding his hand over the warm velvet of it before reaching lower to weigh the heavy sac in his palm. He uses his fingers to rub Merlin’s perineum, massaging his prostate from the outside. Merlin grunts into his mouth, thrusting his hips eagerly upward.

“Shh, shh,” Arthur soothes, pulling away and moving down to take Merlin into his mouth. He continues to massage with his fingers. When Merlin cries out, Arthur brings his other hand to Merlin’s lips, afraid Hunith and Gaius will return and hear them. Merlin sucks Arthur’s fingers into his mouth like an eager puppy.

Arthur licks at the head of Merlin’s cock, then sucks on it as Merlin pants above him, his breath hot on the wet fingers of Arthur’s left hand.

Arthur shifts so he’s in between Merlin’s legs and takes Merlin fully into his mouth, continuing to massage him with one hand while urging his legs open with the other. When he brings a finger wet from Merlin's mouth down and slips it into Merlin’s hole up to the second knuckle, Merlin’s eyes widen and he grunts loudly. Arthur works his tongue, swirling it around Merlin’s rigid shaft, then crooks his finger on the lump of nerves inside Merlin at the same time as he presses his thumb on the same spot outside, and Merlin shouts, hips rising off the bed. Arthur’s mouth fills with cum, and he sucks it eagerly in, swallowing several times.

Merlin lies trembling on the bed, and Arthur covers him with his body, kissing his shoulder and neck. “Okay?” he asks him after a moment.

“Fuck, yeah,” Merlin answers shakily. “Arthur, fuck! Is that what you were talking about before? About the spot inside?”

Arthur smiles against Merlin’s skin. “Yeah. Good, huh?”

“Fucking fantastic! You were touching it…from the inside and outside, too. It felt so damn good.” Merlin pulls Arthur closer. “Oh, my God!” He kisses Arthur’s head. “I can’t wait for you to fuck me.”

Arthur chuckles. “All in good time, Merlin. All in good time.”

 


	22. chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get it on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually started my paper legends entry Friday night, so there was a lag here. I was beginning to feel the strain of having done nothing! Anyway, here is the next bit. Arthur and Merlin quit trying to wait for the perfect weekend and just do it.
> 
> Comments and kudos so appreciated. I really am pleased that so many of you take the time to say something. Even "I love it" brings a smile to a writer's face. Those of you who go beyond are fabulous! (((hugs)))

After a while, they hear Hunith and Gaius entering the house and walking about and decide to join them. Arthur helps Merlin to make himself presentable.

“Take that goofy grin off your face,” he scolds him teasingly. “You look thoroughly shagged.”

Merlin dutifully attempts to appear serious, but it doesn’t work very well, and both men wind up laughing as they appear in the living room where Hunith and Gaius are drinking tea. Hunith indicates the pot and cups.

“Have some, dears, and join us. Gaius was just telling me about his days as a lad.”

“You can remember that far back?” Merlin jokes, taking a seat on the sofa and reaching for the cups.

“Watch out boy,” Gaius’ eyebrow does a dance, “I’m not so old I can’t still whip you.”

Merlin snorts and pours tea for himself and Arthur. They spend a comfortable evening talking and laughing. When Gaius falls asleep and begins to snore, Merlin gently awakens him and guides him to his room.

“Merlin tells me that you’ve invited him to your country home at the end of the month,” Hunith says after her son and brother-in-law have disappeared up the stairs.

“My father has invited us both to his estate in Norfolk.”

“Well, from what you told me at lunch, it sounds like your father is really reaching out to you,” Hunith is curled up in a winged-back chair, her stockinged feet tucked beneath her.

“My father is doing his level best to manipulate me into taking over the company,” Arthur tells her, disgruntled just thinking about it. “I mean no disrespect, Hunith, but you don’t know the man and how ruthless he can be. He would have no problem using my relationship with Merlin against me.”

Hunith smiles softly and sighs. “A country estate…” her eyes twinkle. “I don’t suppose there’s any way you could wrangle an invitation for me, is there?”

Arthur’s mouth drops open. “You’d want to come? But…why?”

“I’d like to meet your father and know more about you, Arthur. Not because I’m worried about Merlin, but because I care about you, and because Merlin loves you.”

There they are again, those damn _tears_. This woman has made him cry more in the last two days than he has in the past ten years.

“Of course, it’s very rude of me to ask,” Hunith says when Arthur remains quiet for a bit too long.

“Oh! No, no. It’s fine. Of course you’re welcome. Father could have a dozen visitors and never know the difference, but in his present mood he’d probably be delighted to meet you. Gaius is welcome, too, if he’d like.”

“I think the trip would be a bit tiring for him, and he would probably enjoy the time here alone,” Hunith replies. “You check with your father to make sure, and let me know. I could take the train.”

Arthur nods. Merlin thumps down the stairs and slides onto the couch beside Arthur, laying his head on Arthur’s chest. Arthur reaches over and cups Merlin’s face with his hand, and Merlin tilts upward to look at Arthur smiling fondly down at him.

“I think I’ll head on up to bed,” Hunith announces as she rises from her chair. “Goodnight, lads.” She leans down to kiss first Merlin, and then Arthur on the forehead.

“Mum likes you,” Merlin whispers after she's gone, and Arthur leans down to softly kiss him.

***

Back at home, Leon drills Arthur about the trip while Arthur cleans out his refrigerator. They’ve been back two days, and it’s only now that Arthur has settled back into a routine at home.

Leon is perched on the counter, eating an apple. “So you liked this little town? Elder-whatsit?”

“Ealdor, and yes, it was very quaint. Merlin’s mother was lovely, and his uncle a wise old chap.” Arthur dumps something suspect into the bin and scrubs the bottom of the cooler.

“That’s a big step, meeting the family,” Leon notes.

Arthur gets up off his knees and shuts the door to the refrigerator. “I suppose.” He eyes Leon. “Didn’t you meet Percy’s folks recently?”

Leon’s skin pinkens, and he finishes chewing before answering. “Maybe.”

Arthur grins. “You like him. A lot.”

Leon swallows, looking away. “Maybe.”

Arthur comes toward Leon stealthily, like a predatory cat. “Admit it, Leon. You’re a little bit in love with big, sweet, Percival.”

Leon’s face is now the shade of his apple. “Sod off, Pendragon,” he says gruffly, jumping down from the counter just as Arthur grabs him up in a hug.

“That is just _adorable_ , Leon! So _precious_!”

Leon pushes him away, laughing in spite of himself.

A knock at the door breaks them apart, and Arthur slaps Leon on the back. “You’re so pretty when you’re flustered.”

Arthur opens the door to greet Merlin, then pulls him inside by the wrist. He gives Merlin a very passionate welcoming kiss before Merlin can begin to be in any way disgruntled at the sight of Leon.

“Leon’s in love with Percy,” Arthur tells Merlin when they part.

“Would you _sod off_ , you wanker?” Leon barks, throwing the remnants of his apple in the trash.

“He’s met his parents and everything,” Arthur continues, undeterred.

“Is that right?” Merlin asks, unsure of exactly what he’s walked into.

“Arthur is an insufferable prat, and I feel sorry for you for having to put up with him,” Leon huffs on his way out the door.

Arthur throws his head back and laughs, calling out, “Nothing better than teasing a ginger. They show their embarrassment so vividly,” Just before the door shuts with a firm click.

“You’re terrible,” Merlin pulls Arthur closer and kisses him hungrily.

“You’re going to stay the night, aren’t you?” Arthur whispers in Merlin's ear. “I can drop you off at work tomorrow. I already told Leon to drive himself.”

Merlin nods, patting the messenger bag still slung over his shoulder.

“I’ve been cleaning,” Arthur says, pulling back suddenly. “I probably don’t smell the best.” He sniffs under his arms.

“I like it,” Merlin tugs him back into his embrace and bites at Arthur’s neck.

“You’re weird,” Arthur's laugh turns into a groan as Merlin begins to suck. “Hey—don’t give me a love bite there, it’ll show.”

He moves away, kissing Merlin’s hand. “I’m going to take a quick shower. What do you want to do about dinner?”

Merlin shrugs. “Anything. We can go to that place around the corner for Japanese.”

Arthur grins. “Sounds perfect.”

Later that night, after Merlin showers, Arthur waits for him in his bed. Arthur’s bruising has almost entirely disappeared, and he’s lost all the soreness from the accident. Merlin comments on this as he drops his towel and lowers himself onto the bed beside Arthur.

“I was so scared, Arthur,” Merlin admits, running a finger over Arthur’s bare thigh. “Even when Leon had only told me you’d fallen down. But when I learned what had really happened…” Merlin shook his head.

“Forget all that, please,” Arthur takes in the sight of Merlin’s freshly washed body. He is lovely, all long lines, pale skin, and dark hair. “Lie down, here, like this.” Arthur puts Merlin on his stomach, then places some plump pillows beneath his hips.

“Arthur…” Merlin sounds nervous. He peers around his shoulder, blue eyes wide.

“Do you trust me, Merlin?” Arthur asks, meeting his gaze.

“Of course.”

“Then just relax, yeah?”

Slowly, Merlin lets the tension roll out of his body. Arthur gets the scented oil from where he’s left it by the bed, along with the flavored lube that Gwen gave him. He pours the oil onto his hands and begins to massage Merlin’s back.

“Does my bum have to be up in the air for a massage?” Merlin asks, but his voice is calm and tinged with humor. “That feels wonderful, by the way.”

“I love your pert little bottom,” Arthur tells him. “I like to look at it.”

Pink appears on Merlin’s cheekbone and ear, and he closes his eyes.

“You don’t mind, do you? That I like looking at your bottom?” Arthur asks conversationally as he continues to stroke Merlin’s back, running thumbs flat up against his spine.

Merlin swallows. “No. I—I rather like yours, as well.”

 _Touché,_ Arthur thinks, groin hardening.

“You can look at mine another time,” Arthur promises, moving behind Merlin. He gently nudges Merlin’s legs so that Merlin bends them, tucking them up and displaying himself. “It’s okay,” Arthur soothes, knowing Merlin is embarrassed. “It’s just me. You’re so beautiful, Merlin.” Arthur reaches with a gentle hand and adjusts Merlin so that his cock and balls are hanging straight down the pillows where Arthur can see them. He bends to give a lick from the very tip of Merlin’s still softened cock all the way over his nuts and perineum to the edge of his arse hole. Merlin gasps and shivers, attempting to move forward and away, but Arthur grips his hips, holding him in place.

“Tell me if it doesn’t feel good,” Arthur says. “But don’t pull away because you’re embarrassed. I love the way you look, feel, and taste, Merlin. I want to make a feast of you.” He buries his nose in Merlin’s arse and hears him whimper.

Arthur wipes his oily hands on the sheets and reaches for the flavored lube. Applying a liberal amount to his hands, he begins to slowly strop Merlin’s cock, pulling down as though milking a cow. At the same time, he brings his tongue out to lick rhythmically at Merlin’s perineum.

“Oh, fuck!” Merlin groans, his legs beginning to shake. “Arthur, God!” Merlin scrambles for a grip on the sheets as Arthur moves upward and flicks his tongue at Merlin’s quivering hole. Merlin cries out, his cock growing in Arthur’s hand. Arthur twists his wrist, and, pointing his tongue, jabs it into Merlin’s arse. Once. Twice. Three times.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, ARTHUR!” Merlin yells, quivering from head to toe. “God, Arthur! Is that your _tongue_ , holy shit!” He pants loudly.

When Arthur’s mouth gets stiff and sore, he pulls back. Merlin’s cock drips steadily, and Arthur rubs the tip, making Merlin jump and whimper. Arthur takes Merlin’s balls into his mouth, suckling on them as Merlin whines, begging him to fuck him as Arthur continues to twist his wrist at every downward pull of Merlin’s now-very-hard cock.

Reaching up with a lubed finger, Arthur gently inserts it into Merlin, feeling for the small lump of tissue. Merlin yells out again, his arse moving back against Arthur’s face. Arthur lets go of Merlin’s sac and bites at his buttock, leaving a mark. He crooks his finger inside of Merlin, playing, then adds another as he plants his mouth on Merlin’s perineum, sucking hard.

“Oh, SHIT! Arthur, you’re fucking killing me! Mother of God…please, please, please…” Merlin quivers all over. Arthur’s so hard now, he can’t stand it anymore. He gets to his knees, running his lube-slickened hands over his dick before positioning it at Merlin’s wet opening. Merlin pushes back, trying to force Arthur in, and Arthur sucks in his breath. When Arthur breaches the rigid rim, it’s like heaven…tight, so fucking tight and hot. Merlin pulls him in, wanting it. He reaches back with his hands, and Arthur holds them, pulling at Merlin’s arms as Arthur sinks in, then slowly pulls out. He takes the time to adjust the angle, once, twice…

“Holy fuck!” Merlin moans, and then Arthur begins to pump. Merlin’s bum rises to meet Arthur on every stroke, a jumble of words pouring from his mouth as Arthur makes sure to bump his prostate each and every time. Arthur moves his grip to Merlin’s wrists, pulling him until Merlin rises off the mattress as Arthur fucks him, throat arched, yelling out how good it is, begging for more, faster, harder, deeper.

Arthur imagines Leon’s getting an earful, but he doesn’t care, if feels so fucking good. He’s giving it so good to Merlin, and Merlin’s loving it. Merlin straightens and Arthur wraps an arm about his waist, biting at his lolling neck, hips twisting, pumping into the tight, wet heat.

“So good…so good…never, God, Arthur…love you…” Merlin mumbles, his cock a stiff rod leaking white droplets onto the sheets. Arthur reaches down and pumps it until Merlin cries out, spurting everywhere, then gently lowers Merlin, scooting the pillows out of the way and lying flat on top of him so that Arthur can finish himself with shallow strokes inside of Merlin.

When Arthur withdraws, Merlin’s eyes are wet . Fear suddenly curls in Arthur’s stomach. “Did I hurt you?” His mind runs over the last few moments, wondering if he’d gotten too rough in his own overwhelming pleasure. It had undoubtedly been the best sex of Arthur’s life.

Merlin shakes his head, biting his lip. “No. No, just…love you, Arthur. Hold me, please.”

Arthur doesn’t waste any time pulling Merlin to him and wrapping himself around him. There is more than one slick spot in the bed, but they ignore them.

“I didn’t know it could be like that,” Merlin says after a while.

Arthur kisses his head. “I don’t think anyone can expect Will to have a normal sex life after what he’s been through.”

Merlin raises his head. “Mum told you.”

Arthur nods.

“I thought she might. It was there between us, and I didn’t feel it was my place.”

Arthur rubs Merlin’s back. “She’s a smart lady. It really helped me to understand certain things.”

“Sometimes I’ve wondered…” Merlin begins, and then stops.

“What?” Arthur asks quietly.

“Well, I’ve wondered if Will isn’t actually gay. I mean, is that even possible? That last time, when I told you he was cheating? He was with a woman.”

Arthur thinks about this for a while, unsure.

“He saw that happen to his mum, and maybe he didn’t want to be with a woman after that,” Merlin says. “I don’t know. I already knew I liked boys, and he knew that…I mean, not right then, when we were ten, but later. When we started getting older. I always said I liked boys, and he didn’t say anything. But when it came time for me to start looking at them, Will was ready to experiment. He knew all about it…blow jobs and things. He had gay porn magazines.”

“Do you think he tried to hold onto you that way?” Arthur asks, finding the thought highly disturbing.

Merlin shrugs. “I think it’s all really complicated, but yeah…I sometimes think that was a part of it.”

Merlin falls asleep before Arthur does, the shadow of Will hanging over him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	23. chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: animal death.
> 
> Here's a short chapter for you on a Monday. Hope you enjoy.

Arthur receives a text late the following morning while he’s sitting in a meeting.

_Sore in all the right places. Still smiling._

Arthur texts back the emoticon of two men holding hands, which is cheesy, he knows, but he doesn’t care. Merlin texts a smiley face. Arthur texts a heart.

At lunch, Arthur runs to the corner to get a Starbucks coffee, along with a Panini wrap. He’s happy, hungry, and it’s beautiful out. He decides to eat while sitting on a bench outside, his drink balanced beside him and newspaper spread out on his lap. He hasn't been there long when a shadow falls over him.

“Well, if it isn’t Arthur Pendragon.” The voice is familiar, antagonizing.

Arthur looks up, surprised to find Will staring down at him, a sneer on his ruddy face.

“Will, hello,” Arthur says carefully. “Would you like to have a seat?”

“How nice,” Will sneers, “ Considering it’s a public bench. I think I will.” He plops down beside Arthur, almost toppling his coffee. “Oh, sorry, did I almost spill your expensive drink? But I suppose you can afford another. You could probably buy the shop.”

Arthur’s not sure exactly how to handle the situation. Will isn’t drunk, but he’s definitely acting oddly.

“Are you all right?” he asks.

Will laughs derisively. “Am I _all right_? How nice of you to ask! Now that you’ve taken the most important person in my life away from me!” His voice rises considerably and several people nearby turn to look their way. A child in a stroller begins to cry.

“Merlin is his own person, Will. He makes his own decisions.” Arthur keeps his own voice calm and even.

“Don’t, just don’t,” Will spits. “Don’t pretend you didn’t horn your way into his life! I could see from the very beginning the way you looked at him!” He points a shaking finger at Arthur. “I knew!”

“You need to calm down,” Arthur warns. “You’re making a scene.” And he is. More people are pausing to watch. The young mother has bustled her child away.

“And a posh guy like you doesn’t like scenes, does he?” Will says sarcastically. “Nothing touches your perfect life, does it, Arthur? Everything’s just great for you. You’ve made it so Merlin barely talks to me anymore. He’s got his mother running interference. We’ve always been so close, but now it’s like I’m nobody to him!” Will's face is read, veins standing out on his neck.

Wills stands up. People back away. The scene is so unsettling, Arthur feels a bit ill. He puts his paper aside, ready to stand and face Will, even though a part of him feels that would be a poor move. Will is obviously itching for a fight, and although laying the man out on the pavement would certainly feel wonderful, Arthur thinks it unwise.

Thankfully, a policeman appears from the growing crowd before things escalate further. By this time, Will is breathing heavily, sweat beading his forehead. “No problem here,” he says through clenched teeth before turning and walking stiffly down the street. Arthur watches him go as the policeman disperses the crowd.

Nerves rattled, Arthur finishes his coffee and tries to eat his lunch, but it tastes like sand in his mouth. He walks back to his office and forces himself to concentrate on work.

When he arrives home that night, the whole scene with Will still weighs heavily on Arthur’s mind. He’s run through it several times, wondering if just seeing Arthur set Will off, or if Will has just been waiting for the right moment to verbally attack Arthur. Arthur’s distraction is perhaps why he doesn’t immediately notice the still form of his cat lying in the middle of the foyer, body unnaturally stiff.

He almost trips over it, and when he realizes that the cat is dead, Arthur just stands there, staring at it for long moments before backing out into the hallway.

Arthur rubs his hand over his mouth several times, staring sightlessly toward his open flat door until he can gather his thoughts. He finally moves toward Leon’s door, his hand visibly shaking as he raises it to knock. Since they drove separately that morning, Arthur doesn’t know if Leon is home yet. What Arthur _does_ know is that he isn’t going back into his flat.

Leon doesn’t answer, and Arthur knocks again, harder. He keeps knocking, unsure how long he stands there banging his hand on the door before he hears Leon’s voice behind him.

“Arthur?”

Arthur swings around to find Leon and Percy staring at him. Arthur’s hand hurts, and he shakes his fingers out.

“Arthur, what’s wrong?” There must be something about his expression, because Leon approaches him slowly, taking Arthur’s arm, sliding his hand down it until he has Arthur’s hand in his. “Your knuckles are red. How long have you been knocking?”

“My…cat,” Arthur says, his eyes moving toward his open doorway, and Leon glances at Percy, who immediately heads into Arthur’s flat.

Leon gently rubs Arthur’s hand, peering worriedly at his face until Percy appears with a bundle in a plastic bag.

“What would you like me to do with him, Arthur?” Percy inquires softly.

Arthur looks away. “I don’t know.”

“Put him inside my door for now,” Leon says, unlocking it.

Leon then leads Arthur back into Arthur’s flat and makes him some tea. Percy appears, closing the door behind him.

“I came home and found him,” Arthur tells them, sitting down at the kitchen table. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Has Yoda been sick?” Leon asks, and Arthur shakes his head.

“Maybe he got into something poisonous? Did you leave anything different out?” Percy asks.

Arthur looks over his shoulder at the space under the front door. “No…” Could someone have slipped something in? But why would they do that? Arthur’s blood runs cold, and Will’s words come back to him. _Nothing touches your perfect life, does it, Arthur?_

“That fucker!” Arthur slams his fist on the table so hard that both Percy and Leon jump. “He killed my cat!”

“Who did?” Leon asks, standing up.

“Will!” Arthur jumps up from the table and begins pacing.

“Calm down, Arthur,” Leon says. “Why do you say that?”

Arthur runs his fingers through his hair and sags against the door frame. Angrily, he relates to Leon and Percy exactly what happened outside Starbucks.

“I can’t believe Will would hurt your cat, though,” Percy replies.

“Believe it,” Arthur says. “He was a lunatic out there. There's no doubt he absolutely despises me. And he specifically threw it up in my face that nothing bad ever happens in my perfect life.”

“Yeah, but to go so far as to kill your pet?” Percy looks like he can’t imagine anyone being so cruel.

“The guy’s a mess, and I don’t want Merlin anywhere near him,” Arthur picks up his mobile and quickly dials Merlin as Leon and Percy exchange looks.

 After hearing Arthur out, Merlin is upset, but skeptical. “I don’t think Will would do that, Arthur,” he tells him.

“Fuck that, he would, too!” Arthur argues. “I’m telling you, he needs some real help, Merlin, and I don’t mean just a therapist and your mum. He stood out on the street and yelled at me about how perfect my life is, and then I came home and found my cat dead.”

“Calm down, okay? I’m coming over.” Merlin ends the call.

“Arthur, I’ll take care of the cat for you. My brother’s a vet,” Percy says.

Arthur nods numbly.

“Do you need anything?” Leon asks, handing Arthur a cup of tea.

Arthur covers his face with his hands and shakes his head.

Leon has been moving about the flat, filling a box with everything he can find that belonged to the cat.

“Thanks, Leon,” Arthur sighs as his neighbor heads to the door with it. Leon pecks Arthur on the head, and Percy rubs his back.

“Call us if you need us, yeah?” Percy says, and they leave.

It isn’t long until Merlin shows up, his face sympathetic and sad as he peers around the unlocked door.

Arthur is freshly showered and changed and strides down the hall, falling into Merlin’s open arms, just wanting to be held.

“I really loved him,” he tells Merlin softly. “You gave him to me, and he was special.”

Merlin strokes Arthur’s hair. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

“Merlin, I don’t want to argue, but Will scared me today. He ranted and raved and looked crazy.” Arthur nudges into the soft curve of Merlin's neck with his nose.

“I’m sorry about that, too.”

“It’s not your fault,” Arthur sighs.

“I know, but I feel responsible all the same.” Merlin holds Arthur more tightly to him.

“Will you stay a little while? Watch a movie or something?” Arthur asks.

“Of course.”

They watch two old movies, and Arthur falls asleep on the couch in Merlin’s arms. He barely awakens when Merlin kisses him and tells him he loves him, he’s heading home, and that he’s set Arthur’s alarm on his phone.

The rest of the week, as Arthur comes down from the shock of Yoda’s death, he finds himself wondering if perhaps he jumped to conclusions by blaming Will. It is entirely possible, of course, that the cat was ill and Arthur hadn’t known it. In fact, hadn’t Yoda eaten less than usual that week? The picture of Will slipping food laced with poison under the door of Arthur’s flat is frankly the stuff of movies. Plus, wouldn’t there have been butcher paper or something left on the floor? Arthur will never know for sure, but he feels his pet’s absence painfully.

Uther shows up at his flat the following Saturday, asking if he’s heard from his sister and if he’s spoken to his “male friend” about spending a week at the Norfolk estate.

“Morgana hasn’t answered any of my texts, but if she’s on a yacht, that’s to be expected,” Arthur answers, pouring his father a cup of tea. “And yes, Merlin does want to visit. And his mother does, too.”

Uther raises his brow. “His mother?”

“I assume that’s all right with you? There’s certainly plenty of room.”

“Of course it’s all right. I’ll have another room prepared,” Uther answers. He looks around Arthur’s flat. “Where is that strange looking animal I saw the last time I was here?”

Arthur looks into his tea cup. “My cat passed away.”

“Oh.” Uther purses his lips. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I hadn’t realized you’d noticed Yoda,” Arthur says.

“Of course I noticed. Even if I hadn’t, my P.I. put him in his report. He was very thorough.”

“Oh. Merlin gave him to me. He was a hairless cat—no shedding.”

“That sounds unattractive yet convenient. How did he die? The cat.” Uther sips his tea, and Arthur can tell he’s trying not to make a face at the brand, which is not cheap by any means, but is also nowhere near what he’s accustomed to drinking.

“I don’t know. I came home and found him that way,” Arthur replies. He eyes his father, who is dressed in a suit, as usual.

“Father, it’s Saturday,” he says suddenly. “Why in the world are you dressed like you’re either going to work or to church?”

Uther’s cup slows on the way to his lips. “What is it you think I should be wearing, Son?”

“I don’t know…regular trousers? _Shorts_?”

Uther chokes on his tea. “I assure you, Arthur, I have never worn a pair of short trousers.”

Arthur laughs. “Were you born in a suit? Tell me, Father, have you even ever been swimming? Do you own a swim suit?”

Uther sniffs uncomfortably and looks around him for something to focus on. “Why are we talking about this?” He stands. “Arthur, I look forward to spending the week with you, your male friend, and your male friend’s mother. I need to go now.”

Arthur’s mouth quirks into a smile as he rises from his chair to walk his father to the door. “All right, Father, but could you perhaps purchase a few less formal suits for the week? To put our guests at ease.”

He chuckles softly at Uther’s expression and watches him go.

 


	24. chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got such great readers. You're comments greatly cheered me after a tiring Monday. Here's a chapter for you. I looked over it quite a bit, but I've noticed I make horrific errors anyway. I do go back and clean up chapters later.  
> Morgana finally enters the picture here. Sorry it can't be longer!  
> Have a nice Tuesday!

Arthur doesn’t see much of Merlin that week because they are both working late, preparing for their vacation time. Arthur works furiously through mounds of paperwork, trying to ensure everything will run smoothly while he’s gone, and thinking all the while that he’s never particularly enjoyed his job. He tells himself that’s ridiculous; he’s only tired, and obviously Uther is getting to him with his incessant disparaging remarks about being a project manager in a software company when he could be running things at Pendragon Industries. He’s asked Arthur three times if he had trouble getting the time off, reminding him that as CEO that would never be a problem. The final time, Arthur returned with a snarky, “Oh, because you took so much time off yourself when we were growing up.” That effectively silenced Uther, but Arthur didn’t get the pleasure out of it he thought he would.

Arthur also tells himself that he is decidedly _not_ happy for the opportunity to stay indoors and have his lunch at his desk rather than risk running into Will with his crazed eyes and half-true accusations out on the street again, because that would be ridiculous, too. And if there is one thing that Arthur Pendragon is not, it’s ridiculous.

A surprise comes mid-week in the form of a text from his sister. Evidently, she got off the yacht to find his messages and was immediately afraid something terrible had happened. It pains Arthur to think that they are that awful at keeping in touch in his family, although he of course knows that it’s true. Determined to be better, he calls her rather than texts her back.

“Morgana, is it that strange for me to send you a text message that you have to send me absurd replies in all caps?” he asks without preamble when she answers, her voice still familiar, thank God.

“Simply put, brother dear, yes. I haven’t heard from you in a coon’s age,” Morgana replies airily, but Arthur detects the pleased note in her tone.

“A what?”

Morgana laughs, a wonderful sound. “Isn’t it quaint? That’s an expression my friend Jim Bob uses…he’s from the states. The deep south. It has something to do with a raccoon, and it means a very long time.”

“Right,” Arthur replies. “Okay,” he clears his throat, going on impulse. “Is there any way you can make it to the Norfolk house next week? I’m going to be there with my boyfriend and Father.”

Silence.

“Morgana?”

“You’re going to spend time with Father?” she finally asks, sounding less than enthused.

Arthur knew she’d be surprised at this. “Well, yes. He got in touch with me after my accident, and…”

“Arthur! What happened?” Morgana’s voice is now all caps.

“Er, that’s not important. Father just…”

“It _is important_! Tell me _right now_.” It’s impossible not to obey his sister when she uses that particular tone.

“I was just nicked by a…lorry. In the street.”

“WHAT? Why wasn’t I informed of this?”

“You were on a yacht out in the middle of the Mediterranean, remember?” Arthur reminds her.

“Oh, my God, Arthur! Are you all right?”

“Obviously, Morgana,” Arthur says wryly. “Will you be able to come to Norfolk?” he presses the advantage her concern gives him because, after all, he’s a Pendragon.

Another beat of silence. “I might. But I’m bringing Guido. And possibly Jim Bob, too.”

Arthur smiles. It will be a very entertaining week.

***

“Your sister?” Merlin asks, pausing.

“Yes, Merlin, please don’t stop now!” Arthur wiggles his arse. He’s leaning against the wall of Merlin’s flat where Merlin has him pinned. Arthur’s been helping him pack, but Merlin has become sidetracked, divesting Arthur of his clothes and kissing his way to the small of Arthur’s back, Arthur all the while giving Merlin breathless last minute information about their trip.

“God, what if she doesn’t like me?” Merlin asks, his breath a whisper on Arthur’s kiss-dampened skin.

“I’ll order her to like you!” Arthur growls. “Are you going to fuck me, or will I have to resort to begging?”

Merlin’s hand slides up the inside of Arthur’s leg to cup his balls, and Arthur gasps. “No begging, necessary,” Merlin replies silkily, gently kneading. Arthur groans, wiggling, and Merlin bites his arse cheek. He begins sucking.

“I’ve made a mark on you. You’re mine,” Merlin says, getting to his feet with a little slap to Arthur’s butt. “Now stay like that; don’t move.”

Arthur can hear Merlin fishing in a drawer for the lube. It seems like an age before Merlin returns sans pants, his shirt tail tenting from his large erection. A groan escapes Arthur’s lips at the sight; he can’t wait to have that inside him. He wiggles his arse again, which makes Merlin moan in answer.

“God, Arthur. Just…shit.” Merlin clumsily squirts the lube in his hand and drops the bottle, shoving his shirt away to get at his stiff dick.

“Feet apart, hands on the wall,” he orders, and Arthur obeys, breath coming faster. “Poke that arse out a bit more. Yeah, so nice and pretty.” Merlin positions himself, giving Arthur’s bum another slap before easing inside of him in a smooth, luscious glide that makes every neuron in Arthur’s body tingle with delicious anticipation.

Merlin’s taken every moment Arthur has previously spent making love to him to heart, and he returns it three-fold, remembering what feels good and what doesn’t. He adjusts himself until he knows he’s hitting Arthur in the right place. Arthur hangs his head and pants as Merlin swivels his hips, thrusting into him only occasionally, spending the interim driving him wild by toying with Arthur’s sensitive nipples, taunting him softly about how much he likes it, just as he’s learned Arthur enjoys.

When Arthur’s crying out shamelessly, Merlin directs him to move to his knees on the floor.

They somehow manage this without disconnecting their bodies, Arthur’s knees spread wide with Merlin kneeling between them.

“I want to try it the way you did with me,” Merlin tells him, stretching Arthur’s arms back behind him and holding onto his hands as he begins pumping his hips. This pulls Arthur up off the floor and pushes Merlin in deep, and it feels _amazing_. Arthur groans low in his throat and is rewarded by an answering groan from Merlin. “Come for me, Arthur, I’m not going to last long…you’re so tight and hot… _fuck_.”

Arthur can feel his throbbing cock bobbing in the air, every swipe of Merlin’s dick on his prostate as he pounds him, and it’s almost enough…

“Talk to me, Merlin,” he moans. “Tell me how it feels.”

“Fuck, it feels like magic, Arthur. Sinful magic. Your arse loves my cock!” He slams into him again, and Arthur feels the build-up. Lost in a lust-filled haze, he pushes back against Merlin. “Take it, Arthur, take it all…I’m going to fill you up so you’ll be dripping for hours. So good…never so good as this…” Merlin talks on and on, his voice hoarse, and Arthur hits his peak hard, shuddering before letting go with a stuttered moan. His muscles clench, and Merlin gives a growl, slamming into him three more times, their bodies slapping together, before stilling with a sweet sound that Arthur wishes he could record and carry around with him forever.

Neither one of them hears the click of the front door closing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! I just realized a made a huge boo-boo! Waaay back in a very early chapter, I gave Uther a wife! Katrina! So I've gone back and deleted two sentences to take care of that. Uther DOES NOT have a wife! Sorry about that!  
> I'm working on the next chapter now--the trip to Uther's estate in Norfolk.


	25. chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to Norfolk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd hoped to have a bit more for you by now, but this is a very busy week. As noted at the end of the previous chapter, I realized an earlier mistake---I'd given Uther a wife early on! So I went back and took out a couple of sentences, deleting that part and making him single again.  
> Thanks as always for the replies and thoughts.  
> Please excuse all errors concerning the UK--I've never been there. The birds do belong to the Norfolk vicinity, but I have no idea if you'd find them on an estate or if Uther would be likely to see them.

Hunith chooses to take the train directly to Norfolk, but when Arthur and Merlin arrive by car, they are surprised to find her already there.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Hunith greets each of them warmly with a kiss on the cheek. She seems perfectly at home dressed in her leisure clothes and already ensconced in one of the estate’s many guest suites.

“Of course not, but when did you arrive?” Arthur asks.

“Last night,” Hunith replies. “I just got antsy at home, and since you gave me your father’s number, I rang him up and asked if it would be all right if I took an earlier train. He was very hospitable and gracious.”

The very idea of someone changing plans at the last minute on Uther Pendragon gives Arthur the willies, but it’s done and evidently worked out all right, as Hunith is still there and doesn’t appear to have been crying.

Uther enters from the back of the house, and Arthur does a cartoonish rub of his eyes, for his father is dressed in casual, albeit very expensive, linen trousers and a shirt _opened at the throat._ Arthur glances at Merlin to see if he is taking this in, but Merlin doesn’t seem to find anything amiss, and Arthur supposes he wouldn’t, not knowing that Uther eats, sleeps, and breathes in a custom-made suit and probably has since birth.

“There you are,” Uther greets them, arms open in a gesture that immediately stiffens Arthur’s back. He needn’t have worried, though, because Uther stops just short of a hug, placing his hands on Arthur’s shoulders instead and giving him an awkward little shake. Hunith seems to be taking it all in, her arm wrapped about her son’s waist. Arthur imagines she’ll get more than she ever hoped to see of the Pendragon family dynamics before the week is up.

“Did you have a nice trip, Merlin?” Uther asks, moving to shake Merlin’s hand. Arthur’s glad that Uther has learned his “male friend’s” name, and guesses he did this with the help of his “male friend’s mother.”

“Yes, sir, it’s a very pleasant drive.”

“So it is. Well, your mother is delightful. We’ve been having a wonderful time.” He turns to his son. “And, Arthur, I’ve heard from your sister—she’ll be arriving later today, entourage in tow.”

Arthur smiles, genuinely pleased, although he isn’t sure if it’s more at seeing Morgana again or at having her as a buffer during this tedious week with their father.

Elsdon, Uther’s long-time butler, appears. “Good afternoon, Master Arthur.”

“Elsdon, I’m not six anymore, please,” Arthur sighs fondly at the elderly man.

“Sorry, Mister Arthur. Old habits, sir. Shall I show you and your friend to your rooms?”

Arthur raises a brow at his father.

“I’ve given you the two connecting suites,” Uther informs him, something about the expression in his eyes telling Arthur that the arrangement has to do with Merlin’s mother’s presence. Arthur opens his mouth to retort that Hunith gave them a room together at her house, but closes it again. He and Merlin can easily open the adjoining door and sleep in one bed; it’s a minor concession if it makes his father comfortable.

He nods his head, and he and Merlin follow Elsdon upstairs. Merlin has been wide-eyed the entire time, taking in the opulence of the estate, and Arthur supposes it really is something to see with its tennis courts, pool, stables, gardens, and acres of fields and woodland. The interior is magazine-worthy, and it appears to Arthur that his father has gone all out and had everything updated specially for their visit.

“Wow,” Merlin whistles, when Elsdon closes the door upon his exit, leaving them alone to unpack. Arthur gathers Merlin up, kissing the soft spot just under Merlin’s ear.

“I love your ears,” he says, nipping at the lobe. “I’d like to fuck one of them.”

Merlin laughs, wiggling against him. “You knob,” he whispers, turning, and then they’re kissing, tongues mingling warmly.

“This place is fantastic,” Merlin sighs against Arthur’s shoulder. “Mum has stars in her eyes.”

Arthur smiles and gives Merlin a squeeze. “I hope she has a nice time. My family is a bit…non-traditional.”

“Stop, Arthur.” Merlin takes Arthur’s face in his hands. “All families are different. Your father isn’t that bad.”

“You haven’t really seen him. If you think I can be a prick, my father is much worse.”

Merlin ruffles Arthur’s hair and takes a step back. “Your good points more than make up for a few lapses, and I’m sure it’s the same with your dad. Besides, I think you’re just about perfect.” He winks. “Let’s unpack and get downstairs so we can chaperone the folks.” He heads for the other room where Elsdon has set his bags.

A half hour later when they arrive downstairs, Arthur and Merlin find Uther and Hunith in the south garden. Hunith has somehow procured a large, floppy hat, and leads Uther about, chatting knowledgeably about the flowers. Botany is Uther’s one hobby, and Arthur finds himself rather touched at seeing his father’s eyes lighting up at the topic.

Arthur takes Merlin’s hand and squeezes it, and Merlin leans in, whispering teasingly, “What a tyrant!” before quickly leaning away to avoid Arthur’s swat.

Rowena, a middle-aged woman that Uther has only recently employed, serves them tea, and they sit under the shade of a large oak, enjoying the pleasant day. The morning fog has burned off and the weather turned quite warm.

Hunith tells Uther about Ealdor, and then about growing up in Falconworth, a small township near the sea. When he asks her about Merlin’s father, she simply replies that he died a long time ago. Uther’s eyes get a faraway look, and Arthur knows his father is thinking of Arthur’s mother, who died giving birth to Arthur.

The quiet interlude is interrupted by a noisy whoop from the front yard. Everyone turns in time to see Morgana being carried around the corner on the shoulders of a very well-built man wearing a cowboy hat.

“Greetings!” She calls airily, as the man sets her on her feet. Everyone stares, and Arthur hides a small smile behind his fingers as Morgana leans down to kiss their father on the cheek.

“Good afternoon, Morgana, would you and your means of transport like some tea?” Uther asks.

Morgana’s answering laugh is melodious. “Father, this is Jim Bob. Guido couldn’t make it.”

“I’m devastated,” Uther murmurs, sipping from his china cup.

As Arthur stands, his sister sweeps him into a surprisingly warm hug. “Little brother, I’ve missed you.” Her perceptive green eyes land on Merlin. “And this handsome man must be your new beau.”

Arthur takes a step back, ridiculous pride filling his chest. “Morgana, this is Merlin.”

Morgana is all over him at once. “So gorgeous!” She kisses his cheek. “Arthur always did have marvelous taste in men. My girlfriends and I would just sit back and drool on weekends home from school.” She smiles brightly at Merlin’s deep blush.

“For heaven’s sake, you make me sound like a slag,” Arthur admonishes before bringing Hunith forward for his sister to meet. Jim Bob is then properly introduced, and despite his moniker, Arthur suspects the American has real brains, which doesn’t surprise Arthur too much, since he knows Morgana doesn’t suffer stupidity well or for long.

Tea time is effectively over, and Morgana and her friend are ushered by Elsdon to their respective suites. “Lord, Father, are we really going to pretend that J. B. and I aren’t fucking all over the place for the sake of _propriety_?” Morgana complains, and Arthur cringes, looking about for Hunith, who is thankfully out of earshot of Morgana’s vulgarity.

“And you were afraid she wouldn’t like you,” Arthur teases Merlin when they are alone again in their rooms.

“She’s a little frightening,” Merlin notes, staring at the door as though Morgana might burst through it at any moment, as indeed she might.

“She puts most of that on,” Arthur says. “To cover her insecurities and such.”

Merlin looks at Arthur, shocked. “I can’t believe such a beautiful woman would have insecurities! And I’ll bet she’s brilliant.”

“She is,” Arthur finds himself proud to list Morgana’s accomplishments. “She has a degree in sociology and another in psychology with an emphasis in behavior analysis. That last one she got in the states, which is where I suppose she picked up Jim Bob. Morgana is so brilliant, she gets bored easily, and that’s when she usually gets herself into trouble.”

“Wow. All that, and beauty, too.”

Arthur raises a brow. “Should I be jealous?”

Merlin hooks his fingers in Arthur’s belt loops and tugs him closer. “Are you?”

“A bit,” Arthur admits, gaze drifting to Merlin’s soft, plump lips. Merlin bites the lower lip in reply.

“Well, then, maybe you should put me in my place,” Merlin suggests, voice breathy, and Arthur feels every bit of blood in his body head in one direction.

***

At dinner, Arthur is sure Morgana notices the indentation of the ring he wears on his index finger on Merlin’s cheek. Arthur had perhaps pressed a little too hard when trying to muffle the increasingly loud cries of pleasure coming from Merlin’s mouth as Arthur fucked him hard and fast on the elegant chaise lounge in his room. She keeps raising her slim, dark brow at Arthur and smirking.

Arthur refuses to be baited, and continues chatting with Hunith about the wildlife to be found around the estate.

“There are truly some wonderful birds to be seen,” Uther puts in. “Just yesterday I saw a Bearded Tit.”

Morgana’s eyes meet J.B.’s, and she spews a Brussels sprout. It rolls off her plate to land by Arthur’s hand. Arthur’s lips twitch in barely-concealed mirth. He can see Merlin’s shoulders shaking out of the corner of his eye. Uther and Hunith continue talking, unaware.

“I’d love to see a Little Ringed Plover,” Hunith says.

“Arthur's favorite, I believe," Morgana replies, mischief in her eyes.

J.B. coughs, and Merlin colors spectacularly.

Uther turns in his seat. "As I recall, he threw stones at them as a boy."

Morgana puts her finger to her chin. "No, I do believe he poked them with his stick."

Arthur clears his throat loudly. He can see Merlin trying valiantly to bite back a laugh.

"There are usually a few Swallowtails about," Uther continues, obliviously.

Morgana gives her brother a sly look, and he steels himself.

“And now there are a few more,” she intones, and the four can no longer hold their laughter in.

“What are you on about?” Uther demands, turning from Hunith to glare at the group.

Arthur’s face is pink and his eyes running, but at the tone of his father’s voice, he sits up straighter in his chair and quickly sobers. “Nothing, sir,” he replies.

“I’ve always found a little laughter at the dinner table helps with digestion,” Hunith puts in easily before asking Uther a question about a piece of art hanging on the wall.

Arthur raises his eyes from his plate to find Morgana’s eyes on him. Their emerald depths are filled with laughter and something else. She sticks her tongue out at him, and he smiles.

 

 

 

 


	26. chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. Thanks for all the nice comments. My busy week is over, and I'm off a week!

The week is nothing like Arthur expected at all. Every day seems to soften his father a bit more, until the man is virtually unrecognizable. Hunith is working some type of magic on him, Arthur decides.

“Is your mother a witch?” Arthur asks in Merlin’s ear just before licking it. They lie on their sides in Merlin’s suite, the moon shining upon them from the balcony making their skin shine pearlescent.

“I beg your pardon?” Merlin asks on a hitched breath, then, “ _God_ , Arthur…”

Arthur wiggles his fingers in the hot, cramped cavern, and Merlin squirms restlessly.

Spreading kisses along Merlin’s sweat-slick neck, Arthur replies, “She’s done something to Father…turned him into a human.” He twists his wrist, stroking the bundle of nerves just behind Merlin’s testicles, and Merlin moans, craning his neck and reaching back to tug at Arthur’s head until their lips meet in a wet kiss, Merlin’s tongue greedy and eager between each warm, panting breath.

“Arthuuurr…” Merlin begs, but Arthur continues stroking, his other hand coming around to pinch and tweak Merlin’s nipples. Merlin cries out, arse moving back, momentarily upsetting the rhythm of Arthur’s fingers.

“Shhh…” Arthur soothes, “did you know it’s possible to cum just from this?”

“It’s torture!” Merlin whines. “You’re the tyrant, not your father.”

Arthur laughs and bites Merlin’s shoulder, pressing harder on his lover’s prostate until Merlin’s breathing becomes erratic. He wants Merlin to come apart like this in his arms. Arthur’s own cock is rigid and leaking against the curve of Merlin’s back, every movement of friction sweet agony. He searches for the words that might bring Merlin over the edge.

“Come on, love, let me see you come for me,” he breathes in Merlin’s ear, loving the colour that washes over the other man’s face. He peers downward. “Your prick is so long and hard—look at it---pointing straight out like that. Later I’ll let you put it deep inside me, or maybe in my mouth, but right now…” Arthur speeds up the rhythm of his fingers, pads dancing lightly in exactly the right place. Merlin squirms, grunting, lips parted and eyes closed, heart hammering wildly against the inside of Arthur’s forearm.

Arthur alternates between pinching and tugging first one nipple and then the other as his lips and tongue pay homage to Merlin’s neck and ear. He listens to the tantalizingly libidinous sounds of Merlin’s orgasm slowly overtaking him. “That’s it, come on, _Mer_ lin, that’s it, I see your cock dripping for me…” Arthur’s balls begin to tighten, and his hips shift impatiently.

He can’t hold himself in check any longer. Just as Merlin begins to shake, Arthur withdraws his fingers, swiftly replacing them with his cock. Merlin’s groan as Arthur enters him is loud enough to raise the flock of birds from the tree outside the window, and Arthur drives in, twisting his hips as Merlin continues to cry out, his orgasm lengthening with the onslaught.

Arthur buries his mouth in Merlin’s hair, rutting senselessly until the gates burst, and he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling his seed fly out of him, filling Merlin up.

“Oh, God, yes,” Merlin whimpers, and Arthur knows Merlin feels it every drop of it.

When Arthur eases out, Merlin turns suddenly, surprising Arthur by taking Arthur’s mouth with his, biting and sucking at Arthur’s lips until they’re sore and numb. Arthur responds, something primitive kindling within him. Their hands scramble at one other, clawing, trying to pull closer. Arthur’s nerves are so sensitized that he can feel every hair on Merlin’s body against his skin. He reaches behind Merlin, parting his arse cheeks, and fingers the sperm running out there, hedonistically excited by it. He’s never been this way with a lover before, so basely eager to explore and indulge—so easily aroused by the smallest things. He finds himself suddenly understanding some fetishes he could never before even begin to fathom. He simply loves Merlin’s body and cannot get enough of it.

Merlin grinds against Arthur, whimpering because it hurts his spent cock, but Arthur understands—he can’t help it either. They continue to kiss and touch until they’re finally satisfied, exhausted and covered in love bites.

“I’d like to make love to you outside sometime, under the moon,” Merlin tells Arthur later, head pillowed on Arthur’s stomach.

“Sounds kinky,” Arthur replies, carding his fingers through Merlin’s sweat-dampened hair. “I’m game, though.” He thinks for a moment. “I’d like to suck you off in the gym shower.”

Merlin raises his head and looks at Arthur. “A definite possibility, although if we’re caught, we’ll lose our memberships.”

Arthur laughs. “No we won’t; my father is on the board.”

Merlin’s mouth falls open. “Really?”

Arthur nods.

Merlin puts his head back down. “Well, then.”

“Let’s do it on the balcony,” Arthur says. “I can hold onto the railing, and you can fuck me from behind.”

Merlin sits up eagerly. “I’m all for that! Although it might be better to wait ‘til dark.”

“Might be wise,” Arthur nods, stretching languorously. “Shower?”

“Yes, definitely.” Merlin climbs off the bed.

When they arrive downstairs a little later, Arthur stops in the hallway so abruptly that Merlin runs into his back.

“Do you hear that?” Arthur asks, grasping Merlin’s forearm.

“What?” Merlin frowns, listening.

“Father’s _laughing!_ ”

Merlin shakes Arthur’s hand off, rolling his eyes, and continues into the large drawing room. Arthur follows, not too surprised to find Hunith to be the focus of his father’s good spirits. Morgana and J.B. are also present.

“Well, how nice of you to join us!” Morgana greets them. “You two might as well be on your honeymoon. I’ve asked Father to move us to the other end of the house so we can get some sleep.”

Merlin looks abashed, but Arthur simply replies, “Nothing trumps a cat in heat, Morgana. Merlin and I wore ear plugs last night to block out your caterwauling.”

“Do the two of you have no sense of propriety?” Uther demands, face reddening. “We have company, yet you continue to bicker in a manner fit for a brothel!”

Hunith chuckles. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t raise a gay son on my own without being exposed to a few things, Uther,” she chides.

Morgana unwinds herself from her spot on the sofa where she’s been resting against J.B., who appears to be drinking mint juleps along with Hunith. Surprisingly, Uther is drinking ice water. In fact, Arthur doesn’t think he’s seen him drinking alcohol all week. “Arthur, would you take a walk with me in the garden? I’d like to have a chat with you.”

Arthur glances at Merlin, who just smiles and sits down in the space Morgana has vacated and accepts one of the drinks from his mother.

“See if you can spend all your childish energy while out there,” Uther grumbles as Arthur follows his sister out the open patio doors into the early twilight. It’s chilly, and they pull their cardigans around themselves, walking close together along the path winding around the garden.

“I’m sure Father’s approached you about running the company,” Morgana begins without preamble.

“Yes. Several times. I told him I’m not interested and to pester you about it,” Arthur answers, kicking a small rock out of his path.

“Thanks for that,” Morgana replies wryly. “But Arthur, I think you should do it. You’re right for the job, and I’m planning on doing something with my major.”

Arthur stops and stares at his sister. “You know I don’t want this life, Morgana,” he says, eyes conveying more than his words.

She nods. Her long, dark hair lifts on the night breeze, partially covering her face. “But you can make it different.”

Arthur laughs, genuinely amused. “You know he won’t let me do that. He’ll be running the show from behind the scenes. He’ll never let go of the reins.”

“I don’t know about that,” Morgana begins to walk again. “Haven’t you noticed something different about Father? Did he give you that lame excuse about arthritis being his reason for leaving as CEO? _Arthritis_? Since when?”

Arthur nods. He’s wondered about that himself more than once.

“I think we should pin him down about this while we’re both here—make him tell us what’s going on,” Morgana replies, “And if he really wants you to take over, he’ll have to give you complete control. Make him put it in writing, Arthur.”

Arthur stops on the path again, biting his lip. Is that what he wants? Control of Pendragon Enterprises? Hands on hips, he bends his head, staring down at the grass beneath his feet, as Morgana waits. If his father truly gives up the company for whatever reason, and neither Arthur nor his sister steps up as CEO, Pendragon Industries will go to strangers.

And that is unthinkable.

“Let’s talk to him,” Arthur replies, looking up at Morgana seriously. They turn and head back inside.

***

In the end it’s an ambush. Hunith corrals Merlin and J.B. off on some escapade on the other side of the house, while Morgana and Arthur demand that Uther tell them what’s really going on with him.

When he finally admits that he’s been diagnosed with MS, the siblings stand staring at him for a several long minutes.

“Shut your mouths and sit down, would you please?” Uther finally snaps. “I’m not at death’s door.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me this in the first place?” Arthur asks, ignoring the order to sit.

“I don’t want you to take over the company because you feel sorry for me, Arthur,” Uther replies testily. “I want you to take it over because it’s our family business and means something to you. And the same goes for you, Morgana. I don’t really care which of you does it, but I want to keep Pendragon Industries in the family. But if it’s you, Morgana, I want you to have all your crazy carousing out of your system. And if it’s you, Arthur, well…”

Arthur waits. Uther shrugs. “I suppose you have things well in hand.”

That is actually the nicest compliment Arthur’s had from his father in…forever.

“But how is your health, really, Father?” Morgana asks in an uncharacteristically soft voice as she moves forward to touch his sleeve.

Uther stares at her hand like he’s not sure what to do about it. “I’m fine. I’ve just been having some problems with my vision now and then and occasional numbness in my fingers.” He sighs. “Arthur, have you given it any thought? I must say, the stress isn’t doing me much good. If I’m going to have to sell, I’d like some time to get used to the idea.”

Arthur buries his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want you to sell, Father. I’ll do it, but I want assurance from you that I’ll have full control.”

“Immediately? Isn’t that a bit preposterous, considering you haven’t ever run a company before?” Uther asks sardonically, and Arthur finds he can’t argue that point.

“Of course I’ll need you as an advisor, but all final decisions rest with me,” Arthur concedes.

“Done.” Uther smiles broadly, and they shake on it.

“I expect a place on the board,” Morgana puts in.

“I suppose that can be arranged,” Arthur tells her, giving her a small shove.

“Arthur, don’t push your sister,” Uther automatically reprimands. “Now go back to your respective mates.”

Morgana heads out the door, but Arthur pauses. “Yes, Arthur?”

“Father, I ...really appreciate your acceptance of my relationship of Merlin. It means a lot to me, and well, this is all just a big change from when I first came out.”

“Yes, well,” Uther appears uncomfortable. “I’ve had some time to think since then. It was wrong of me to want you out of the company because of your sexual preference, and even more wrong to keep you at arm’s length, Arthur.”

With that, Uther turns away, as if the soft words have been too much for him. Arthur finds he doesn’t know what to say anyway, so he leaves to find Merlin.

 

 

 

 


	27. chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, this and that. Okay--new job, old memories, trouble in paradise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morning is always the best time to write. Not sure what some of you are going to say to this chapter, but this is the way it came out. I stand behind it.

The next couple of weeks are punishing ones for Arthur. Learning the ends and outs of the company is harder than he thought, mainly because so many new things have been implemented since he’s left. He manages to meet Merlin only once to run, but that does happily end in Arthur getting his fantasy shower wish.

Still, it’s not enough; Arthur misses Merlin.

“Move in with me,” he tells Merlin during a late-night phone call. Arthur is buried beneath his covers, wishing he could smell Merlin on his sheets, but it’s been too long since his lover’s lain on them and there are no traces left.

The pause on the line is too long.

“Merlin?”

“I’m here. Arthur. Your flat is too far from my office.”

“Then I’ll move to yours.”

Merlin laughs outright at that. “Okay, you’re going to move from your posh flat to my tiny hole-in-the-wall. Great. Let’s do it tomorrow.”

Arthur frowns. “All right, then I’ll start looking for a new place for the both of us. Someplace close to where you work, but larger.”

“Arthur…”

Arthur’s heart speeds up painfully, because Merlin doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to live with Arthur at all, and he’s trying to find a nice way to tell him so, and Arthur doesn’t understand why. He clenches his mobile in one hand and the sheets in the other and waits in the darkness.

“Arthur, it’s too soon. You’re running yourself to death at the company. You can’t find a flat now.”

“Then you find one!” Arthur doesn’t mean to shout. He lowers his voice. “I’m sorry. I just miss you. I can’t go on like this, not seeing you. I’ll quit first.”

Merlin’s intake of breath is audible over the line. “You can’t do that, Arthur! Your father is counting on you, and you know it.”

“And what about all the years I counted on him?” Arthur breathes, hurt and pain washing over him all at once. “When all he did was work and I sat at home or, worse, away at boarding schools with no mother to send packages, or to call to ask how I’m _fucking doing_ and if I even _fucking_ want to _be there_? Why in the hell does he suddenly care what I think _now_?” Arthur’s voice breaks, and he tosses his mobile to the end of the bed.

Arthur can hear Merlin’s voice calling his name, but he’s overcome with emotion. Where is all this shit coming from? If being around his father is going to open the gates of his carefully filed-away feelings like this, is it really worth it? He muffles sobs with his pillow, feeling again the pain of the boy he once was, lonely and scared and unsure about his place in the world. Never completely accepted by his father and knowing that his secret feelings for other boys would not endear him to the man any further. He cries until he’s spent, not caring if Merlin hears him or if even Leon hears him through the wall. After a while he falls asleep, exhausted.

Loud banging awakens Arthur sometime later, and he tumbles out of bed, bumping into the wall so hard he bounces back onto the mattress. He rolls to the end of the bed and off, hearing his mobile slide across the floor in the darkness as he staggers to the hallway and the door.

“Arthur!” He can hear Merlin shouting from the other side. “Open the fucking door, or I swear I will break it down!”

Arthur fumbles with the locks and jerks the door open, knowing he must be a sight with his hair standing up and dried tears and probably snot all over his face. He rubs his hands over his eyes, standing aside as Merlin walks in and shuts the door.

“What the _fuck_ , Arthur, what the fuck!” Merlin, eyes a little wild, grabs Arthur about the shoulders and stares him in the face before pulling him into a bone-crushing embrace. “You scared the shit out of me.” He strokes Arthur’s hair, and Arthur has no more tears left to cry, or he knows he would cry them then. Instead he stares at a spot on the wall and wonders if he can get it off with industrial cleaner.

Merlin steps away and looks at Arthur again with worried eyes. “Come on,” he tugs Arthur to the bedroom and turns on a small lamp, illuminating the room in a circle of dim light. He disappears into the bathroom, returning with a warm, wet flannel. Arthur stands like a zombie as Merlin wipes up his face and fringe. “What brought that on, love?” Merlin asks, and Arthur blinks.

For the first time since Merlin arrived, Arthur really takes in his appearance. Merlin’s still wearing his pyjamas, with only a sweatshirt pulled over them and his trackers pulled on his feet. His dark hair is a mess. “I’m sorry,” Arthur says.

“Don’t be sorry.” Merlin leads Arthur to the bed, gently pushing him down on it. He slips off his shoes and climbs over to lie down beside him. “Your father really did a number on you growing up, didn’t he?”

Arthur nods numbly. 

“Do you and your sister ever talk about it?”

Arthur turns his head a little and gives Merlin a sardonic look. “That would require communication—something we’re pants at in my family. Morgana was better than I was at detaching herself and at escaping. Being a girl, the focus wasn’t on her as much, and she could fly under the radar.” Arthur stares up at the ceiling. “I think she feels guilty about that now---leaving me.”

“I don’t have siblings, so I don’t know how it is,” Merlin says. “But I did grow up with Will. And I imagine that everyone does things that they regret.”

Arthur can’t help but cringe that he’s become another emotional wreck of a boyfriend for Merlin to take care of. “I’m sorry I laid all this on you. I guess I’m just really tired and overwhelmed. I've missed you--and I wish we could be together more.”

Merlin’s face is so worried and sad; Arthur wants to wipe it clean of those emotions so badly, but he just doesn’t have it in him at the moment.

“Arthur, I don’t want you to think I don’t want to live with you. I do. Really. I just don’t want you to take that on right now. Stop worrying about not being with me. I’m not going anywhere.” He leans in to kiss Arthur softly on the lips, and Arthur revels in the plush glide against his mouth, opening up to touch his tongue with Merlin’s. He groans. “I need you.”

Merlin smiles and sits up, stripping off his two shirts in one swift move. “Good. Because I want to make love to you. Now.”

And Merlin does make love to him. Slowly, face-to-face, until Arthur shudders and spills between them. When Merlin finishes and pulls out, he moves down and gently licks up Arthur’s cum, kissing his firm abdominal muscles with so much love that Arthur’s eyes sting.

When Merlin lies down beside him again, Arthur pulls him into his arms, kissing the taste of himself from Merlin’s plump lips. “You’re going to be exhausted at work tomorrow,” he says, glancing at the digital clock over Merlin’s shoulder, which reads 3:43 AM.

“It’s been worth it,” Merlin tells him, wiggling into the crook of Arthur’s arm. “Set the alarm for six. I think I have something here I can wear.”

Arthur reaches over Merlin and pushes the buttons before settling back down. They fall asleep almost immediately.

***

Arthur’s mini breakdown seems to have had a cathartic effect. He is calmer in ensuing weeks, although things don’t go without a snag. It seems that someone within the company is not happy with Arthur’s take-over. He finds the tires of his BMW slashed one evening after working late, and dog shit smeared all over his CEO parking sign another. No one seems to want to take the pranks inside the building, though, so Arthur ignores them and continues to spend long hours with board members and executives familiarizing himself with every nuance of company policy and protocol, while treating every employee equally and fairly.

Uther remains by his son’s side for a solid month before beginning to wean Arthur of his presence. Arthur barely notices; he is so busy. He has to take a trip to New York City at the beginning of May, and he hates the thought of leaving Merlin, although he has to seriously question whether he would be likely to see his boyfriend during the week anyway.

Two weeks before he is to leave, Gwen meets him for lunch, something for which he’s had to push two meetings aside to make room for.

She spears a small tomato and asks, “What’s wrong?”

Arthur frowns. “Hm? What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong. Don’t you like your salad?”

“Yes, I like it. But you’re just pushing yours around, and you have that constipated look on your face. The one you get when you’re worrying over something. So let’s have it.” Gwen leans back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest.

Arthur shakes his head. “It’s petty.”

Gwen just raises a brow and waits.

Arthur puts his fork down. “Will is doing a lot better. He isn’t all whiney and panicky. He’s acting normal and being a friend to Merlin.” Arthur feels like a complete jerk to be complaining about this.

Gwen takes a sip of her water before replying. “So you feel threatened. And the fact that you can hardly spend two minutes with Merlin only makes it worse, while Will is probably spending loads of time with him.”

Arthur’s face clears. “Yes!”

“I can’t say I blame you,” Gwen replies, leaning forward to resume eating. “But there comes a time in a relationship when you just have to trust the other person, Arthur. Either Merlin wants to be with you, or he doesn’t. What you need is more time with him, though, for the good of your relationship. What about this trip you’re going on? Could Merlin possibly go with?”

Arthur thinks on that a moment. Would it be possible? Merlin couldn’t always get time off, and he’d just taken that week at the end of March. “I don’t know. Maybe he could swing part of it. Gwen, you’re brilliant!”

Gwen smiles. “Yes, I know. And now that I have your complete attention, let me brag about the kids.”

***

Merlin is so excited at the thought of going to New York City, that he swears he will manage the long weekend part of the trip at least. Arthur insists on paying for it, and Merlin doesn’t argue on that point. Arthur is pretty sure Merlin wouldn’t have the funds to go otherwise. In the whirlwind of preparing for his meetings and assuring he’ll have some free time in New York while Merlin is there, Arthur barely manages a moment alone with his lover. They have a quick lunch on the day before the Wednesday Arthur is to fly out. Merlin is to join Arthur late Friday night, which translates to early Friday evening in New York. He’ll be flying back to London Monday evening, while Arthur will be staying until Wednesday. This way, Merlin only had to ask for Monday off.

They sit at an outdoor café watching people come and go as they eat their sandwiches.

“So what have you been doing with yourself?” Arthur asks Merlin. He watches Merlin pat his mouth with a napkin, thinking how gorgeous he looks in his crisp white button-down shirt and dark slacks. Merlin has recently had a haircut, and Arthur really wants to snog him very badly. He wishes there was somewhere nearby where he could pull Merlin away and just have at him for a bit. He’s so intent on his thoughts of getting inside Merlin’s clothes and at his lean body that he misses what Merlin has said and has to rewind.

“Did you say that you and Will went out?” Arthur asks, taking a sip of water before he chokes, and trying hard to cover his shock.

“I said we went to the deli across from my place. He wanted to get together, and I was a bit uncomfortable having him over, so I suggested that,” Merlin answers, taking a bite of his pickle spear.

Arthur nods slowly. “How’s he doing?”

Merlin grins, the big, wide grin that Arthur adores. “Great! I mean really well, Arthur. I’ve never seen him so good. We talked about old times—good times, not bad—and actually had a nice time. I’m so relieved to get our friendship back.”

“That’s brilliant,” Arthur manages to croak out around another bite of sandwich. He’s literally stuffing it in his mouth, trying to appear busy rather than have to verbally deal with this information or his subsequent feelings.

“Mum called me last night,” Merlin changes the subject, looking a bit sly.

“Yeah?” Arthur mumbles, eyes watering from too much food.

“She says that she’s going to visit your father this weekend. He’s invited her. Now what do you suppose that means? Is it a date?” Merlin leans forward. “Do you think we’re to be _step-brothers_?”

Arthur really does choke, then, and Merlin has to come around and pound him on the back.

 

 


	28. chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New York, New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insecurities are never good.

Arthur’s flight to New York is long and dull. He spends it catching up on the sleep he’s missed throughout the week. The company he’s to meet with sends a car for him that ushers him to his four-star hotel, and it isn’t long before he’s lying awake in a plush bed staring at an unfamiliar ceiling and realizes he forgot to text Merlin.

 **Arthur:** I’m here and at the hotel. Can’t sleep.

An answering text doesn’t come right away, and Arthur runs through possibilities. It’s late Wednesday night in London. and Merlin should be in bed by now; But Merlin's a night owl, and Arthur knows he'll be waiting up to make sure Arthur's there okay. Arthur closes his eyes and tries to calm down and not act like a worrying grandmother.

It’s a full hour before Arthur gets the text, and he’s about to crawl out of his skin. He’s long since given up on trying to sleep and channel surfs restlessly, the curtains to his balcony open to reveal the ever-restless city below. Finally, his mobile beeps.

 **Merlin:** Brilliant! Sorry I missed your text. Running.

Arthur stares at the words for a while. Did Merlin go to the gym? No, he couldn't go this late. He chews on his lip. 

 **Arthur:** This late? Alone?

 **Merlin:** I was with Will. Haven't been sleeping well anyway.

Arthur drops the phone. He’s very glad that they’re texting and not talking, because he’s having trouble getting hold of himself. _Since when did Will start running?_ This new, together Will is so much worse than the needy, pathetic one, and Arthur doesn’t know what to do about it. He knows that Gwen is right—Merlin will ultimately be the one to choose –but right now Arthur feels the cards are stacked against him. Arthur is extremely busy taking over the company; Merlin refuses to move in with him, and Arthur’s fighting to spend even a minute with Merlin. Now Will is taking over the hobby Arthur and Merlin once shared together.

Arthur feels panic well up in his chest. He knows Merlin is waiting for an answer, and he does not want to come off as a jack ass. He picks up the phone.

 **Arthur:** Good on you. Maybe you can sleep now. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Nite.

 **Merlin:** Same. Love u. Sleep well.

 _Is Will in Merlin’s flat right now?_ Arthur wonders. No, Merlin wouldn’t do that to Arthur. Not this far into their relationship, Arthur feels sure. He knows that Merlin is being a friend to Will, but surely he knows that Will might cling to any little suggestion of more…but then again, Merlin is altogether too naïve and oblivious.

For a brief moment, Arthur actually entertains the idea of calling Hunith… but that would be so weird. Instead, he turns the television off and tosses and turns the entire night until his mobile alarm goes off and he has to shower for his first meeting of the day.

During Arthur’s longest, most dull meeting on Thursday’s schedule, he finds himself turning off the sound on his mobile and texting his sister under cover of the table.

 **Arthur:** I can’t do this. I’m becoming HIM.

 **Morgana:** The Finnish rock band from Helsinki?

 **Arthur:** Very funny.

 **Morgana:** Not enjoying NYC I take it?

 **Arthur:** The inside of every board room looks the same.

 **Morgana:** Isn’t M joining you for a few days?

 **Arthur:** Yes tonight thank God. But I never get to see him, and he’s spending more and more time with his X. Guess y?

 **Morgana:** Because of Z?

 **Arthur:** Would it kill you to be serious? I will lose him because of this hellish job!

 **Morgana:** Calm down. Wine and dine him and we’ll figure something out when you get back.

This makes Arthur feel marginally better.

That afternoon, he speaks to Merlin briefly on the phone as Merlin is on his way to dinner with Gilly and Freya. Arthur spends most of his evening in the hotel going over notes, making sure he has everything taken care of for the following day of back-to-back meetings.

Friday seems to take forever. As soon as he’s through shaking the last hand and signing the final contract, Arthur takes a taxi back to the hotel, showers, and changes into slacks and a red shirt he knows Merlin particularly likes on him. Merlin is probably going to be exhausted when he arrives, but Arthur hopes they can at least have a drink together before coming back to the hotel.

JFK is predictably crowded, and Arthur texts Merlin that he’ll be just outside baggage claim. When Arthur spots him in the jumble of people milling around with suitcases in tow, he presses forward until he has Merlin in his arms.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Arthur says into Merlin’s ear.

Merlin hugs him tightly. “I’ve missed you, too.” He pulls away. “I only brought a carry-on. We can go.”

Arthur smiles and leans in for a quick kiss. They head out.

“Too tired for a drink?” Arthur asks when they find a cab.

“Slept on the plane,” Merlin answers. “I’m good. What do you have in mind?”

“A drink, unless you’re hungry?”

“I’m starved, actually.”

The cab driver suggests Don Peppe for Italian, and they wind up sharing a plate of linguine with clam sauce, sitting close together at a secluded table near the back. Merlin asks after Arthur’s meetings, and Arthur tells him frankly that he’s not enjoying his role as CEO at all.

“In fact, someone decidedly hates me,” Arthur says, sipping his wine and leaning back in his chair. He tells Merlin about the tires and dog shit.

“Wow. Why would anyone be so upset over Uther’s son taking over?” Merlin asks, licking clam sauce off the corner of his mouth. “God, this is delicious.”

“You’re delicious,” Arthur says throatily, moving closer. “I’d like to cover you in clam sauce and lick every bit of it off.”

Merlin shivers. “Well, then,” he clears his throat. “Perhaps it’s time to head back to the hotel.”

Arthur smiles slowly. “Brilliant idea.”

Arthur tells himself it is definitely not the specter of Will that makes him throw Merlin’s legs up over his shoulders and pound out the two best orgasms of Merlin’s life, but simply the fact that Arthur has missed him. They lay in each other’s arms, listening to the muted traffic sounds outside, Merlin’s head on Arthur’s chest and hand toying with the coarse hairs growing around Arthur’s now-exhausted cock.

“Can we see the Empire State Building tomorrow?” Merlin asks sleepily, tugging and scratching with his fingers.

“Anything you want,” Arthur answers. “I’ve cleared the next few days.” He kisses the top of Merlin’s head and pets the smooth, bare back beneath his hand.

Merlin moves his hand down to cup Arthur’s heavy sac. When he speaks, his voice is slow with fatigue. “Don’t want to sleep…wastes our time t’gether.”

“I’ll wake you early,” Arthur promises, kissing him again, lingering to smell the shampoo he recognizes as the herbal stuff Merlin keeps at home. He finds that the soft sound of Merlin’s snores along with the comforting weight of his hand cradling Arthur’s ball sac lulls Arthur into a restful and calm sleep.

He awakens to the singular feel of his morning erection being sucked on by a hot, eager mouth.

“Oh, fuck,” he sighs, as the mouth takes him down to the root. The tip of Arthur’s cock touches Merlin’s tonsils and then slips past to the back, and Arthur cries out, trying not to thrust too hard. He can feel saliva pooling on his groin. Blinking, he opens his eyes to see his lover curled around him, mouth bulging, and he squeezes them shut again, breathing hard, because it’s _so good, so good_. He feels Merlin’s long index finger worming its way between his arse cheeks and spreads his thighs. The finger is wet when it enters him, and Arthur moans loudly, pushing deeper into the hot, dripping cavern of Merlin’s mouth. Merlin quickly finds the nerve bundle inside of Arthur and begins stroking, and Arthur cries out his name, thoughts unraveling at high speed. He reaches up for the headboard, holding on as Merlin swiftly brings him higher. Arthur arches off the bed, toes curling into the sheets, grunting from low in his belly as white washes out his vision.

“Holy shit, Merlin,” he pants a few moments later. “What a way to wake a man up!”

Merlin grins foolishly. “Did you like it?”

Arthur stares, mouth ajar. “You know I did!”

Merlin leans down to nibble at Arthur’s nipple. “I love making love to you, Arthur.” He rests his chin on Arthur’s hard pectoral muscle. “I’ve been thinking. Maybe…maybe we should find a place together.”

Arthur’s face lights up. “Really?” he asks. “You really want to?”

Merlin’s answering grin is delightful. “Yeah. I do.”

Arthur pulls Merlin over so that he’s on top of him. He kisses him. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive.” He kisses him again and again until his desire rekindles, and he feels Merlin hard against his thigh. Arthur spreads his legs invitingly, and Merlin’s breath picks up. He spits into his hand, coating his prick with it several times before pushing his way into Arthur.

Arthur is relaxed and takes it easily, bending his legs and wrapping them around Merlin as Merlin pumps into him. They kiss and breathe together. When Merlin buries his face in Arthur’s neck, biting at it as he nears his climax, Arthur watches Merlin’s white arse thrusting over him. Merlin clutches at Arthur’s hair, little “eh..eh…eh” noises falling from his parted lips as he tenses before falling raggedly forward.

***

They spend the whole of the day sight-seeing. Arthur thinks they’ve walked the city twice over by the time they get back to the hotel. They are so exhausted, that showers and bed are all they can muster. A lazy, nude snog is as far as they get before falling asleep in one another’s arms.

On Sunday Arthur takes Merlin to a Broadway show and then out to eat. When they arrive back at the hotel, Arthur checks his mobile while Merlin uses the bathroom. He has a message from his PA, Mark.

 **Voicemail:** _Arthur, Mark here. Just wanted to let you know I got all the reports in on time. Oh, and you got a rather strange note in the mail. It’s done with those cut out magazine letters, and all it says is LOSER on plain white paper. It was mailed to the company, address typed out. Weird, huh? Got an admirer? (chuckle) Everything’s on track here. Hope you find time for some fun. See you Thursday morning._

Arthur sighs. Another fan in the company, or the same one. He looks up when Merlin walks in and flops down on the bed beside him.

“You look upset,” Merlin notes.

“I’m not,” Arthur says. “Just checking my messages and thinking about work.” He lies down on his back. “Will you start looking for a place for us?”

“I will, but nothing too expensive, yeah? I want to pay my part.”

“Deal.” Arthur reaches over, entwining their fingers.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Can we look for a little gift shop? I promised Will, Gilly, and Freya I’d pick them up a little souvenir Christmas ornament. I think I saw some in the window of a shop down the street. We can walk.”

“Sure,” Arthur says, toying with Merlin’s hand. He frowns. “Was Will with you the other night? When you had dinner with Gilly and Freya?”

“Yeah, he ended up coming.”

Arthur shouldn’t mind. He shouldn’t. “Are Gilly and Freya a couple now?” he asks, hoping his voice sounds casual.

“They’ve been dating a few months, yeah. I think they’re perfect for one another.” Merlin rolls onto his side, smiling at Arthur, and Arthur chooses his next words carefully.

“Do you think that Will understands that you and he are only friends now?”

Merlin’s face clouds over. “Of course. Do you think…do you think I’m stringing him along or something?”

Arthur shakes his head. He meets Merlin’s blue eyes. “No. I think you’re being just as open and wonderful as you always are.”

Merlin lets go of Arthur’s hand and sits up. “Stupid and naïve, you mean. Arthur, I am being Will’s friend. Look, I can’t help it if you’re jealous of Will. He and I have been friends for a long time, and you are going to have to get used to it. You’re also going to have to trust me around him.”

“I do trust you,” Arthur says, staring at Merlin’s rigid back. “I don’t trust _him_.”

Merlin turns around. “What does that _mean_?”

“I don’t know, Merlin,” Arthur sighs. “I just think he’s up to something.”

Merlin slides off the bed, putting more space between them. “Like what? What could he possibly be up to? What more could you want than for him to stop pressuring me and calling me with his problems, crying on my shoulder all the time? And now that he’s done that, you aren’t happy?”

Arthur rises up onto his elbows. “I want him to leave us alone.”

“ _Us_? What does he ever do to you?”

Arthur licks his lips. And this is the crux of the matter, isn’t it? This is what he hasn’t even admitted to himself. “Nevermind.” He gets up.

“Oh, no. You aren’t going to start this and then drop it,” Merlin insists.

“I can’t prove he’s doing anything,” Arthur replies, “and you wouldn’t believe me even if I said it.”

“Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence there, Arthur!” Merlin turns swiftly. “I’ll just head down to that gift shop by myself.”

“Don’t you see he’s trying to reassert himself in your life, Merlin? And meanwhile I’m being pushed out?” Arthur tries, and Merlin turns at the door, mouth open.

“Are you kidding me? I’m here in New York with you, Arthur. Not him. I sleep with you. I love you. What in the hell are you even talking about?” With that, he turns and goes, leaving Arthur staring at the closed door.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	29. chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight. Arthur has his say, and things get ugly.

Arthur pours himself a drink from the honor bar and sits out on the balcony staring morosely out onto Times Square, mulling things over in his mind. He probably should have just kept his mouth shut, but he’s frankly sick and tired of hearing Will’s name. Picturing Merlin out with his ex, as though on a double date with their friends, and knowing they’d been running together just the night before, just flew all over Arthur. All Arthur really knows is that he can’t go on like this.

When Merlin returns, it’s a good hour and a half later. Arthur is well into his third drink, and the whiskey has made his blood run warm in his veins. He’s moved on from worrying that Merlin won’t return to not caring very much if he does or doesn’t. He’s taken his shirt off, tossing it inside the room, and now sits in his slacks, the cool evening air brushing over his bare chest and lifting his hair off his head. People on their way to dinner laugh and shout to each other eleven floors below on the street.

Merlin comes to stand in the doorway, blocking the light from inside for a few moments. Arthur doesn’t turn and look at him, just continues nursing his whiskey and staring at the lights of the city.  After a while Merlin takes a seat in the other chair, propping his feet on the railing.

“It’s time we talk openly, Arthur,” Merlin says quietly, determinedly. “Just lay it all out there. I’m not moving in with you just to have it all blow up in my face.”

Arthur looks at him. “You think I want that?”

Merlin shakes his head. “No.”

Arthur looks back out at the busy city lit up against the darkness. “I wanted you, Merlin, the very day I met you. And maybe I went about it all wrong, I don’t know.” He takes a breath. “You seemed happy enough with Will, and I did try very hard to let you know how I felt, although it all went right over your head.” He glances at Merlin, who’s watching him seriously.

“When you left Will for me, I couldn’t believe it. But Merlin, you haven’t ever left Will. Not really. He’s always been there. He’s always there. And whether or not the bad feeling I get about him is true, I just don’t feel like the most important person in your life. So it’s probably best that we don’t move in together. I’m way more invested in us than you are.” Arthur swallows hard and waits. His heart beats fast, and his head hurts. Merlin remains quiet, and Arthur has no idea what he’s thinking.

After the silence stretches out so long that Arthur can no longer stand it—can no longer make excuses for why Merlin hasn’t tried to reassure him—he stands and goes into the hotel room, shedding his trousers and pants and heading for the bathroom, where he turns the shower on as hot as it will go. Inside he washes and allows himself to cry the tears that have not come all evening.

When he gets out, Merlin is waiting for him, towel in hand. Arthur takes it, but when Merlin runs a hand down Arthur’s back, Arthur knocks it away.

“Don’t touch me,” he breathes, tears springing to his eyes again. “Just don’t.”

“Arthur,” Merlin licks his lips.

Arthur explodes. “I’m not your sex toy, Merlin!” he shouts. “I’m not just here to give you pleasure, goddammit! I love you!”

Merlin shakes his head, bewildered. “Why would you think…”

“Because that’s all I am to you! It’s so goddamn obvious! It’s been staring me in the fucking face! We have great sex, something Will never gave you, yet you still want to be with _him_! Well, fuckit, Merlin, go teach the boy to have sex, and you’ll have it all!” Arthur’s laugh comes out a bit unhinged. He bolts from the bathroom, rubbing the towel over his face, wiping at the traitorous tears.

Merlin stands in the bathroom doorway. “Haven’t I told you I love you, Arthur?” he asks, his voice pained. “Haven’t I shown you? Why is keeping my friendship with Will equal to saying I don’t love you? Why is making love with you lessening how I feel for you in your eyes?” He starts forward, hands out, pleading. “I don’t understand.”

“You had plenty of time to tell me you loved me out there on the balcony after I told you how I fucking feel!” Arthur shouts, anger coiling hot and heavy in his stomach.

“I just have to process things before I speak,” Merlin replies, annoyance rising. “I’m not like you, so hot-headed I have to pop right off.”

Arthur gives Merlin a look, then turns and begins drying himself with the towel. _Hot headed. Merlin hasn’t seen hot headed._ When he finishes, he says, “Well, have you processed? Do you have something to say to me?” He knows he’s being a dick, standing there nude and pompous, but he doesn’t care. He hurts, and he’s so fucking tired of hurting.

“What I’ve been wondering is,” Merlin replies evenly, although his eyes are a mixture of guarded and pained, “if you are really asking me to break all ties with Will. Are you saying it’s to be him or you?”

Arthur pauses, his heart slapping against his ribcage. Is he ready to throw the gauntlet down like that? Because he’s pretty sure he’ll lose. He closes his eyes and turns away, hands on hips.

“That _is_ what you’re saying, isn’t it, Arthur.” Merlin states, voice rising a little. “Because I haven’t had a moment you could call intimate with Will since the day I broke up with him. So either you don’t trust me, or you don’t want me to be friends with him at all. You’ve basically told me tonight that I don’t love you as much as you love me. That I’m not invested in _us_ , which is somehow linked to my friendship with Will, someone I’ve known since childhood. Are you saying now that if I want to be with you, I have to completely drop Will?”

Well, put like that, it sounds completely unfair.

“What if I asked you never to see Leon again?” Merlin asks. “And that isn’t even a fair comparison, since you and Leon aren’t even a tenth as close as Will and I are,” Merlin points out.

Arthur bites his lip, which won’t stop trembling, and refuses to look at Merlin, who takes another step forward. “Arthur, believe me, I do love you. Maybe I just suck at communication, yeah?” he reaches out a hand. “Let’s talk for a while. You’re so tense. No sex or anything, just talking.”

Arthur looks at Merlin then, nods, and goes to sit with him on the sofa. He still doesn’t get dressed; he doesn’t know if he’s testing Merlin, or what—trying to see if he’ll really ignore sex—he just doesn’t go to get his clothes. Merlin pulls Arthur’s head onto his shoulder and cards his fingers through Arthur’s damp hair.

“You know I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships,” Merlin says softly into Arthur’s hair. “I’ve never actually asked anyone to be in one with me before.”

Arthur doesn’t say anything, but he finds himself relaxing a little.

Merlin shifts so that his back is to the corner of the sofa and Arthur leans against him more comfortably, cheek pressed to Merlin’s chest.

“Will and I were very on again off again, and I dated here and there in uni, but it was only that—dates. Nobody exclusive. And when Will and I moved in together, it’s not like there was a declaration of love. Sometimes I wasn’t sure what we were, but then he would tell me he couldn’t live without me. I know it was dysfunctional. Honestly, Arthur, I thought you and I had been through all this. What is it I’ve done to make you so unsure of your place in my life?”

Merlin keeps his arms wrapped firmly about Arthur’s shoulders. Arthur doesn’t answer right away. He’s not even sure he knows the answer. He searches his heart.

“I…just want to feel that I’m your first choice,” he finally says. “I want to know for certain that I’m the one you want to be with romantically. Forever.” He looks up at Merlin, their faces only inches apart.

“And how can I make you sure of that?” Merlin asks.

Arthur swallows. He can’t believe he’s saying this. “I think the only way is for us to take a break for a while.”

He watches Merlin’s face fall. “You’re breaking up with me?” Merlin whispers and his arms drop from around Arthur’s shoulders.

“I’m just suggesting we take a bit of time to decide what’s best. If, after that time, you still want to get a place with me, then we’ll do that.” Arthur’s voice is reasonable, but it wobbles.

Merlin stiffens. “So you’re thinking that after this ‘time out’ you’re going to find me shacked up with Will again, because I won’t be able to help myself? Great, Arthur, just great.”  He shoves himself up off the sofa. “And put some fucking clothes on, would you? I’m not a saint! Sheesh.” He walks a few feet away before swinging around again. “You think just because you give me the best sex in my life I’m some kind of a monster because I want it all the time? I don’t see you pushing me away!”

Agitated, Merlin begins pacing the floor, wringing his hands. “I can’t fucking believe this! I can’t fucking believe _you_!” He stops. “You’re a mother fucking moron!”

Arthur gets to his feet. “Now wait just a minute!”

“No, you wait!” Merlin yells. “You can’t just break up with me as an…an _experiment!_ If you don’t want me, then _fuck you!_ ” He starts for the door, and Arthur is after him like a shot. Merlin is out in the hall before Arthur can catch up with him.

“Where do you think you’re going? You haven’t packed!” Arthur tells him.

A couple of men stop on their way to the lifts, leering.

“God, Arthur!” Merlin pushes him back into the hotel room and shuts the door. “You don’t have any clothes on!”

“You aren’t leaving!” Arthur crosses his arms over his bare chest.

“You are such a prat.” Merlin goes to the closet to get his suitcase, but Arthur wrenches it out of his hands.

“I said, you aren’t leaving.”

“You aren’t the boss of me,” Merlin replies, opening a drawer and taking out his clothes. He crosses to the bed to put them in the suitcase only to find that Arthur has returned it to the closet. “You’re being very childish.”

“I’m being childish? I suggest a break to get our heads together, and you go off on me, and I’m being childish? Good one, Merlin.”

“Are you a control freak, Arthur? Because if you are, it’s best I know now,” Merlin says. “And would you put some clothes on for Christ’s sake?”

“I think you’re the control freak, telling me to put clothes on all the time,” Arthur replies with a smirk.

“Fine, if we’re being nudists here, then I’ll just take mine off,” Merlin yanks his shirt over his head and throws it on the floor. He kicks off his shoes and removes his belt before unfastening his trousers and letting them fall. “What I ought to do is give you a good thrashing with this belt,” he threatens between gritted teeth, face now red with anger, chest heaving.

“I’d like to see you try,” Arthur’s eyes narrow.

Merlin steps out of his pants, picks up the belt and moves toward Arthur, who raises a brow. Merlin is on him quicker than Arthur anticipates, and he finds himself abruptly pinned to the bed.

“Merlin, let me up, you sonovabitch!” he snarls, and Merlin laughs tauntingly.

“Not so high and mighty now, are we?” he bites the shell of Arthur’s ear.

“Merlin!” Arthur struggles, annoyed beyond belief, particularly since he can feel himself hardening. Merlin has Arthur's arm pinned behind him, and he can’t get the leverage he needs to push the other man off. “This fucking bed is too soft,” he grumbles.

“You didn’t say that last night when I was fucking you into it,” Merlin observes, shifting, and flicks his wrist, snapping the belt across Arthur’s right arse cheek.

“Ow! Cut that out!” Arthur yells.

“Shhh…you’re going to get us thrown out of here,” Merlin warns. “Then we’ll both be going home.”

Arthur breathes hard. “I don’t want you to go home, you moron.”

“But you want to break up with me.”

“NO! I said we need a break.”

“Maybe I don’t want a break,” Merlin says before smacking Arthur again with the belt, and fuck, it _stings!_

“Merlin, I swear to God, when I get up from here, I’m going to…”

“Going to what, Arthur?” Merlin asks, and Arthur feels the sweet glide of Merlin’s hard cock against the crack of his arse. He takes a deep breath.

“Uh…”

Merlin waits.

“I forgot.”

Merlin sags against him, a soft laugh escaping his mouth. Arthur laughs, too, and slowly turns over, staring up at Merlin, who looks so beautiful disheveled and angry, he has to kiss him.

Merlin pins Arthur’s wrists to the bed and breaks the kiss. “I don’t want a break, Arthur Pendragon.” He dives down to attack Arthur’s neck with his lips and teeth, and Arthur gasps.  “I don’t want a break. I want you, now, always, forever.” He licks his way down to Arthur’s nipples, taking one between his lips and sucking. Arthur bucks up. Then Merlin lets go, getting to his feet. “And even though I’d love nothing more than to fuck you senseless right now, you stupid idiot, I’m not going to. Because our relationship is not all about sex, you dolt. Now I’m going to go have a cold shower.”

Merlin turns and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	30. chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the mend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the continued comments. :) Much appreciated. This is on the down slope now, believe it or not.

The remainder of Merlin’s time in NYC is salvaged by sheer force of will on both their parts, as they simply do not wish to remain angry with one another. After their argument, they go to sleep, foregoing the intimacy of sex, but sleeping close together nonetheless. They do some more sightseeing on Monday morning and have lunch at a nice Thai restaurant, chatting about books and movies and the ridiculous outfits some of the tourists are wearing.

When it’s time for Merlin to go to the airport, Arthur wishes fervently that he were going home with him rather than staying two more days in America.

“I never intended to argue with you,” he tells Merlin as he watches him pack his clothes in the hotel room. “This trip was supposed to be a lot of fun.”

“I know that,” Merlin answers. “And we have had fun. Listen, I don’t want you to feel like you have to drink to get up the nerve to tell me what’s on your mind. We’re going to have our arguments, Arthur. Everyone does.” He zips up his bag and sits on the edge of the bed. “Do you still want a break from us?”

Arthur studies Merlin’s face. “I don’t want a break. But I meant what I said about wanting to feel first in your life.”

Merlin looks down at his hands and nods. “I’ll work on that, then, because I want you to be happy. If seeing so much of Will is hurting us, I’ll just have to see less of him.” He stands. “My taxi should be here any minute. Give me a proper kiss.” He pulls Arthur to his feet, and presses his mouth on his, warm and inviting. Arthur wraps his arms around Merlin, holding him close, feeling his heartbeat against his chest.

“Thank you,” Arthur breathes against Merlin’s shoulder a moment later.

Merlin pulls back and looks into Arthur’s eyes. “You don’t have to thank me!” He touches Arthur’s cheek. “I’ll see you Thursday, yeah?” He kisses Arthur again, grabs his bag, and leaves.

***

Arthur’s father calls him the following morning, sounding well-rested and chipper. Arthur fills him in on the meetings and highlights of the trip, and Uther makes a few suggestions. Before they hang up, Uther relates the details of his weekend spent with Hunith.

“Sounds like you really enjoyed yourself,” Arthur comments.

“Hunith is a very intelligent woman,” Uther replies.

“And you really like that about her… all that intelligence,” Arthur teases.

“Well, yes, we have very interesting and provocative discussions,” Uther replies.

“Provocative, are they?” Arthur asks.

“Quite…Arthur, exactly what are you getting at?” Uther blusters. “For heaven’s sake, if you’re going to act like your sister, I’m going to hang up right now. See if you can be bothered to visit me for dinner this Friday evening, and bring Merlin with you.” Uther disconnects, leaving Arthur smiling.

***

On his last evening in New York, Arthur puts in his ear buds, pockets his iPod, and goes for a run in Central Park, listening to some John Lennon songs. [“Mind Games”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dHUfy_YBps) reminds him a bit of himself and Merlin. He knows they don’t mean to play games with one another, but sometimes it feels like they do it anyway. He’s never felt quite so torn up in a relationship as he does with Merlin, but he knows this is because he’s never felt this strongly for anyone before. He doesn’t really even blame Merlin for spending so much time with Will, or think that he’s untrustworthy in any way. Arthur just feels that he needs more out of their relationship. And if he had to have a few whiskies in order to tell Merlin that, then he guesses it was for the best. He thinks it’s a good thing that they can yell at each other and then get over it easily, ironing things out.

Arthur does regret calling Merlin out on the sex. After all, it wasn’t exactly fair. Arthur has always been very enthusiastically into their sex life, and there’s never been a time when Merlin has been interested and Arthur hasn’t. It isn’t Merlin’s fault that he enjoys it so much, and Arthur certainly has worked to _make_ him enjoy it. He definitely doesn’t want to stop _having_ it. Arthur decides he’s got some things to work on himself when he gets back to London. And that doesn’t just include Merlin and sex. There’s another reason why Arthur’s so discontented, and Morgana has promised to help him with that.

***

Merlin seems to make a point of telling Arthur that he is not with Will on the two nights that Arthur remains in New York without him, and Arthur appreciates it. It saves him from wondering. When Arthur arrives home late Wednesday night, he is surprised to find Merlin there waiting for him.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Merlin says, smiling. “Leon let me in.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Arthur kisses him, completely shocked. “I’ve meant to give you a key before now.” He hugs him tighter, overwhelmed at this gesture of Merlin’s. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me, too,” Merlin returns the hug warmly. “I brought my clothes and thought I might stay over, if you don’t mind. Just to sleep and spend some time with you.”

Arthur can’t quite keep back the smile that creeps over his face “Really? Well, I think that’s a brilliant idea. But you’ll have to get up so much earlier for work…” He sifts his fingers through the hair on each side of Merlin’s head, just behind his ears as he peers earnestly into Merlin’s face.

“It won’t hurt for one day,” Merlin shrugs. He steps back and takes Arthur’s bag from him. They make short work of unpacking and are soon ensconced in bed with biscuits, cheese, fruit, and wine, and a couple of good books.

“This is how I’ve always imagined it,” Arthur muses, turning a page of his Stephen King novel.

“Hm? Imagined what?” Merlin asks distractedly, biting into a biscuit and staring at his book.

“Us. Living together.”

Merlin looks over at where Arthur’s propped on pillows beside him and smiles. “It feels nice, doesn’t it?”

Arthur nods happily. “Yeah.” Unfortunately, he doesn’t get to enjoy it for long, because he’s exhausted. He falls asleep before he’s read more than three paragraphs, aware sometime in the night of Merlin spooned against him.

Friday night at Uther’s proves to be a bit hard on the stomach as Uther spends some time drilling Merlin on Hunith’s favorite things, as he wants to surprise her with something for her up-coming birthday.

“Your mother is such a lovely woman,” he tells Merlin more than once, and Merlin can only nod and smile.

“I mean, truly lovely,” Uther presses his point.

Morgana and J.B. have joined them, and Morgana makes gagging gestures behind her hand.

When Uther expresses the desire to take Hunith on a trip sometime and asks Merlin what her favorite places are, Morgana makes a circle with the thumb and index finger of her left hand and repeatedly pokes her right index finger into it, making her eyes big and wide with suggestion. Arthur chokes on his spinach and J.B. has to cover his mouth with his napkin. Thankfully, Merlin’s attention is on Uther.

“Have you thought about how you might take some of the pressure off yourself at P.E.?” Morgana asks Arthur after dinner as they stand outside. Morgana is smoking a thin cigar, much to Arthur’s disgust.

“Yes, I have. I’d like you to take over some of the work.”

Morgana raises a brow. “I think not, little brother.”

“I think so, dear sister. I’ve thought this out, and you owe me. Why should I take on this entire company? You’re on the board and own plenty of shares. You have a responsibility here, and you left me at home with Father for years.” Arthur waits, letting the guilt sink in. “If you could manage two days a week, you’d be taking a huge load off me. We could perhaps train someone to manage later on. Delwin, perhaps. He’s capable.”

Morgana purses her lips, thinking. They’re standing in the drive outside Uther’s London house, leaning against Morgana’s red Jaguar. “I suppose it could be done. Temporarily.”

Arthur smiles broadly. “That’s bloody brilliant, Morgana.” He grabs her and kisses her heartily on the cheek, and she teeters on her spiked heels.

“Careful! These are Christian Louboutin. If you break my heel, you’re buying me a new pair!”

Arthur just laughs. “I’ll buy you a tube of Super Glue.”

“Super Glue!” She sputters. “You can’t fix them with Super Glue, you idiot!”

On the way to Merlin’s that night, Arthur relates his conversation with his sister.

“That’s wonderful, Arthur!” Merlin enthuses. “You’ve been so stressed out since taking over the company from your father,” Merlin ponders a beat. “I guess that was worth leaving me and J.B. with Uther for forty-five minutes of garden talk.”

“Yes, sorry about that,” Arthur apologizes.

“He compared my mother to every flower he’s got out there.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah.”

They park near Merlin’s building and take the lift up. “You’re still staying over, aren’t you?” Merlin asks.

“If you still want me,” Arthur answers.

“Of course I do, nimnut. I’d like to look at flats tomorrow,” Merlin tells Arthur as he unlocks the door. Arthur’s heart skips a beat. Things have taken such a turn from just a week ago, he can scarcely believe it. As they enter the flat, Arthur pushes Merlin up against the door.

“I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I want you to know I am not averse to having sex,” he breathes into Merlin’s ear.

“Oh, really,” Merlin says on a sigh.

“Really.”

“Well, that’s interesting and all, but I don’t need it.”

Arthur moves his head slightly so that their foreheads are smashed together. “You don’t?”

“Nope. Not at all. Just being with you like this is great.” Merlin puts on a casual smile.

“Hm. Well.” Arthur smiles himself and takes a step back. “All right, then. Why don’t we have a shower and maybe watch some telly?”

“Sounds lovely,” Merlin replies, not losing his smile. “You may shower first.”

“Thanks very much.” Arthur heads for the bathroom thinking that if he doesn’t get into Merlin’s pants soon, he’s going to die.

He soaps up, uses Merlin’s herbal shampoo, and replays his conversation with Morgana in his head, wondering why in the hell he didn’t think of this solution sooner. He doesn’t even really feel bad using the guilt card on her; he suspects Morgana would like her fingers in the pie a bit anyway, and would prefer an excuse.

When he gets out of the shower, he hears Merlin talking to someone in the next room. Opening the door, Arthur lets the steam pour from the small area and listens.

“I know what I said, but I told you my plans changed,” Merlin is saying.

“But why did they change?” A male voice asks.

“What difference does that make? Why did you come by?”

“Because I want an explanation, that’s why, not just my best friend blowing me off.”

“Will, I told you a week ago I wasn’t going.”

Arthur tenses, his back against the door frame.

“Look, things have been going so well. We’d gotten back to where we used to be, Merlin.”

“I think that’s the problem. We shouldn’t be where we used to be, Will, and I didn’t see that. We’re just friends now.”

“And I suppose Arthur Pendragon’s told you this. He just wants to take you away from me. He insinuated himself into our lives and tore us apart!” Will’s voice is angry, and Arthur wants to intervene, but he also wants to see how Merlin handles the situation.

Merlin sighs. “I think you know we had our problems. Why don’t we talk about this another time?”

“He’s here, isn’t he?” Will asks, and Arthur steps out of the bathroom.

“Merlin wants you to leave,” Arthur states flatly.

Will whips around. “Oh-ho! So there you are,” his eyes scan over Arthur in his bath towel, “and conveniently unclothed, too. I’m sure that’s how you’re keeping Merlin interested.”

“Will, shut up,” Merlin says irritably.

“Get out, Will.” Arthur’s voice is steely.

Will strikes a cocky pose. “I love the way you’re bossing me around, when I lived here _for two fucking years_!”

Arthur moves forward menacingly, and Will takes a step back, then another as Arthur continues advancing on him.

“Nice to know you’ll drop me for some dick,” Will pouts at Merlin before stomping out of the flat, slamming the door behind him.

“Sorry about that,” Merlin says tiredly, running a hand through his hair. “I canceled some plans to go to an outdoor concert with him and some others. I was going to ask you, too, actually. But after our argument, I just told him I wasn’t going at all. I never thought he’d come by tonight.”

“It’s okay,” Arthur replies. “I’ll go find a pair of my pyjama pants while you shower.”

Merlin nods.

Merlin’s bed is a double—much smaller than Arthur’s king--so they find themselves squeezed fairly close while watching television. Arthur wants to jump Merlin’s bones, but Merlin isn’t making any advances, and somehow Arthur thinks that maybe this is good for them, this break from the physical aspect of their relationship, so he just lies quietly in Merlin’s arms until he falls asleep.

 

 


	31. chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it, folks. I would love to know who's stuck with me until the end. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you've enjoyed it! I really hope I haven't made any glaring continuity mistakes---I've tried not to.

The entirety of the following day is spent looking at flats in areas between where Merlin currently resides and where Arthur’s flat is located. Negotiating the price range isn’t easy; Merlin is unwilling to be a kept man in any sense of the word. When they come to an agreement and begin viewing what’s available one by one, it proves disappointing.

By late afternoon it seems that the day is going to be a complete bust. When they stop at a small café for a coffee, Arthur is ready to give up going through the adverts and enlist the help of an agent. A middle-aged woman at the table next to them overhears and tells them about her brother’s flat.

“He’s going to Argentina for two years,” the woman explains. “He owns the place and wants to rent it out. He’s just about to put it in the paper, but I’m sure he won’t mind if I let you in to see it today.”

Arthur and Merlin look at each other, shrugging. They have time to see one more before collapsing for the day and phoning an agent.

“If we had missed out on this, I would’ve died,’ Merlin says a half-hour later, staring at the large living area with bookshelves lining the walls. It is decidedly not dirty, not stinky, not rat-infested, not noisy, and not any of the other terrible things they’d seen that day.

“There’s only one bedroom, but it’s quite large,” Arthur calls from where he’s wandered down the hall. He’s lowered his standards majorly since that morning, but he has to admit that this place feels right. “Room enough for my king-sized bed. God, Merlin, there are more shelves built-in in here. We’d have a place for all our books!”

Merlin appears behind him, peering over his shoulder. He nudges Arthur aside, heading for the closet. “A walk-in!” He swings around, eyes dancing. “Twenty minutes by tube to my job, fifteen by car to yours. What do you suppose he’s asking for it?”

“Only one way to find out,” Arthur takes out his mobile and the slip of paper with the flat owner’s number on it.

By the end of the month, it’s as though destiny has taken over, or at least Arthur thinks so as he ends the work week by taking yet another car-load of their things over to their new flat. Sure, he’d rather own the place, but after their fruitless search, he’s simply glad to have found somewhere that he and Merlin both find acceptable.

Merlin has to work late that evening, so Arthur is on his own. Percy and Leon have promised to help the following morning when they’ve rented a truck to move over all the large stuff. Hunith and Gaius have driven up from Ealdor to pick up the furniture that Merlin isn’t going to be using, and are staying at Merlin’s flat, although Uther practically begged them to stay with him.

Merlin has turned Will down numerous times when he’s tried to see him, and Arthur’s beginning to feel that maybe he should encourage Merlin to give the wanker a break. As far as Arthur knows, Merlin hasn’t spent any time at all with Will since the trip to NYC. He also thinks it might be a good idea to keep Will appeased.

Arthur pretended not to hear the long line of expletives from Will’s end of the line the night before when Merlin answered Will’s invitation to dinner by telling him he could possibly meet him if Arthur came along. He chuckles to himself thinking about what that meal would’ve been like. Merlin seems to have a continually optimistic view of things—as though if he just keeps trying, one day things will magically fall into place and Arthur and Will will become friends. Arthur knows it isn’t going to happen—that, in fact, something much darker is likely to occur. Will is like a time bomb about to go off. He and Leon discussed it just the other night when Leon helped Arthur finish touching up the paint in the flat after Merlin had to leave to meet his mother and Gaius.

“Better keep your eyes open for that one,” Leon told him after Arthur described the heated meeting at Merlin’s place the week before. “It’s weird that he hasn’t moved on to another relationship. It says something right there about his feelings for Merlin, and it’s obvious he hates you.” Leon had looked over at Arthur with a very serious expression. “Did you ever consider that all that hate stuff at work is coming from Will rather than someone inside Pendragon?”

Arthur has considered it. He just hasn’t wanted to entertain the idea, because then it would fester inside him and work its way into poisoning his time with Merlin. Rather than share that with Leon, he’d kept silent and continued painting, but Leon saw.

“Watch your back, Arthur,” he’d told him before changing the subject.

Arthur sighs and begins the tedious task of unpacking boxes. The only things left in both his and Merlin’s flats now are the big pieces of furniture and the bare essentials needed for the night. He’s had a long day at the office, and he’s tired. Morgana’s been spending more time at PE, getting up to speed on things, and if Arthur isn’t mistaken, she’s enjoying herself quite a lot. But she isn’t ready to take any of the load off Arthur yet, and he’s been pushing himself.

A sound near the front of the flat startles Arthur, and he swings around, almost dropping the pictures he’s holding.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, setting the pile gently on a nearby table.

Will, lounging carelessly against the doorframe, gives him a baleful grin. “I just wanted to see what kind of a place you’re moving my Merlin into, that’s all.”

“He’s not _your_ Merlin,” Arthur snaps, unable to help himself. The fact that Will has obviously followed them there burns him up.

“Oh, but he is,” Will replies, walking farther into the flat and looking around. “Nice, I suppose. For now." He shakes his head. "You just don’t get it, do you? Merlin and I are joined at the hip. At the heart. You can fuck him from now until next Tuesday, but he’ll come back to me in the end.”

“You’re crazy,” Arthur breathes, heart pounding more from anger than anything else.

Will meets his eyes. “You don’t know him like I do, Arthur. Why don’t you just admit it to yourself? Merlin hasn’t let you in. You’ve had his body, but you don’t have his _soul_. I have it.” He laughs, and Arthur surges forward, fists clenched, but he stops himself. The last thing he needs is to be behind bars for pounding this chickenshit into the floor. He wouldn’t even be surprised if that’s what Will wants.

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it?” Will taunts. “You think because you haven’t seen me in the past month that I’ve gone off licking my wounds, but I haven’t. You think that because you’re keeping Merlin from seeing me that you’ve won—but that’s not true. He always comes back to me. Always. Just remember that.” He stands up straight. “Don’t worry, I’m leaving. Like I said---just wanted to see where my Merlin will be living.” He turns and walks out, and Arthur finds himself shaking for a solid fifteen minutes before he can get himself together enough to drive home.

The following morning he’s awake when Leon lets himself into the flat at 5 AM.

“Thought I was going to wake you up?” Leon says, obviously surprised to find Arthur sitting on the couch sipping coffee. “That excited to be moving into your love nest?” he teases, heading for the coffee maker. “Percy’s in the shower. I told him I don’t know why the hell he thinks he needs a shower before sweating for hours, but you know him…” As Leon comes around through the dining area and approaches the couch, he seems to note the bags under Arthur’s eyes and the tightness around his mouth. “Arthur? Something wrong?”

Arthur rubs at his eyes and relates his meeting with Will the night before.

“Fuck, Arthur! What if he’d come over with a baseball bat? And you alone!” Leon sits down, putting his coffee aside.

Arthur chuckles. “I think I could wrestle a bat out of the little cheeser’s hands.”

Leon shakes his head. “Don’t underestimate him.”

“Who’s side are you on?” Arthur snaps, nerves taut.

“Yours, of course! Arthur, he’s just trying to get to you. And it looks like it’s working.”

Hunith and Merlin come through the door at the same time as Percy arrives, freshly washed and boyishly handsome.

Merlin looks refreshed and happy, almost bouncing on his feet as he introduces his mother to Leon and Percy, but Arthur can see the moment he notices that something’s off. Leon is as polite and pleasant as ever, rising from where he’s been seated close to Arthur and shaking Hunith’s hand, but there’s tension in his shoulders and back.

“Arthur?” Merlin says. “Everything okay?”

“Sure,” Arthur replies easily, rising from the couch and putting on a smile.

“No, it fucking isn’t,” Leon interrupts, surprising Arthur so much that he topples back onto his arse. “Sorry, Mrs. Emrys, but Merlin, that sod of an ex-boyfriend of yours followed Arthur to your new flat last night and basically told him he’s never going to have you.”

“Leon!” Arthur shouts, appalled.

“And you know what else? He’s been hassling Arthur at work. Sending him notes and slashing his tires.”

Merlin looks at Arthur, aghast. “You didn't say you thought that was Will!”

“I can’t prove it was,” Arthur replies. “It could be disgruntled employees…”

“Oh, come off it, Arthur!” Leon’s voice gets louder. “Those people at Pendragon are so glad to get rid of your old man, they practically kiss your arse. Morgana told me so the other night when she came by here.  You know it’s Will; it’s time Merlin faces up to it and stops coddling the bugger.”

All eyes turn on Merlin, who looks horrified.

“There’s something I should tell you, Arthur,” Percy’s soft voice pierces the dead silence of the room, and Arthur drags his eyes over to the great hulk of a man where he stands, unsure, behind Hunith.

“When I took your cat to my brother…the vet…to be cremated. I asked him to do some tests.” Percy swallows and looks around the room. “He’d been poisoned.”

“Percy, what the _fuck_!” Leon bursts out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It took a while for the test results to come in, and by that time things had settled down, and it seemed that Will had gotten better…I don’t know. I should have, I know. I was going to.” Percy hangs his head. “I didn’t want to stir things up again.”

Arthur feels sick to his stomach. He swears at that moment that if Merlin opens his mouth and defends Will, he’s done with him for good.

“Oh, my God,” he hears Merlin say, and then Merlin’s beside him, pulling him in close, his lips to Arthur’s temple. “Why didn’t you tell me you thought Will was harassing you at work?”

“I wasn’t sure,” Arthur says. “I’m still not.”

“Is that what you were referring to in New York? About not trusting him?”

Arthur nods.

“The boy needs more than a therapist,” Hunith states firmly. “He needs psychiatric care. But he’ll never agree to it.”

“Mum, I don’t think you should be around him alone,” Merlin tells her, arm around Arthur’s shoulder.

Restless, Arthur moves away from Merlin and stands. “As far as I’m concerned, the sooner we do this move, the better. Merlin and I appreciate your help, everyone, and you being here so early…can we just get going?”

Leon’s jaw clenches, but he nods his head, and he grabs one end of the couch and Arthur gets the other as Hunith picks up a box and Merlin and Percy get the end tables.

It takes several hours with periodic breaks, Hunith doing none of the heavy lifting, but rather overseeing things and making sure that no one hits a corner or turns a box upside down. Finally, everything is moved to the new place and take-out is ordered for lunch. Morgana and Gwen arrive for the all-important decorating segment of the day, and Hunith organizes the kitchen and makes tea.

Leon and Percy have been at odds since Percy’s announcement, and Arthur wishes it would all just go away. Will, the mess, everything except himself and Merlin and their new place. He desperately wants to be in Merlin’s arms. He hasn’t made love to him since New York, and at the moment he’s a needy, melty ball of goo. Yet at the back of his mind are Will’s words…that all Arthur will ever have of Merlin is his body.

Arthur can’t eat the Chinese when it gets there, and he’s very thankful to his sister and Gwen for putting together the bedroom first so he can retreat to the big bed and lie down in the dark, a damp cloth resting on his forehead, leaving Merlin to deal with their friends. He realizes he must have fallen asleep when he opens his eyes to see the light has shifted in the room. He gets up and pads into the living room, squinting.

“Feel any better?” Merlin asks from the couch where he’s going through papers.

“Some,” Arthur says, looking around. Everything looks almost put together. “Has everyone gone? I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Yeah. They’ve been gone about an hour. I think you needed the nap. Leon says you didn’t sleep well last night.”

Arthur sits next to Merlin, resting his head on his shoulder. “I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry that Will did that, Arthur. I wish you would’ve called me.”

“What could you have done?”

“I hope I could have made you feel better,” Merlin says, turning to him, a little exasperated. “Will’s spouting nonsense! And of all the things to say—to play into your insecurities like that. Arthur, Will and I have a friendship, but fuck—I’m beginning to question even that, now. He obviously doesn’t want me to be happy.”

Arthur raises his head and looks at Merlin. “How do you mean?”

Merlin flings his hand out. “Here I am with the man of my dreams, and Will won’t let me have you. He’s trying to sabotage us at every turn, and why? All I’ve ever done is try to help him!”

“Will is fixated on you,” Arthur tells him. “He’s sick. He needs help, but I don’t want you to be the one to convince him of that. Or your mother.”

 Merlin shakes his head. “I’m beginning to see that you’re right, but I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t believe he did that to your cat. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“You didn’t want to, and I don’t blame you. Part of me didn’t want to believe it, either.” Arthur sighs.

“Leon was still angry with Percy when they left,” Merlin says, taking Arthur’s hand and fiddling with his fingers. “He’s really very protective of you.”

Arthur nods. “It’s just his way.”

“No, I think it’s more. I think Leon could have had deep feelings for you, Arthur, if you’d have let him.” Merlin doesn’t sound angry or petulant, just honest. Arthur meets his gaze and shrugs.

“I was in love with you. He knew that he never stood a chance.”

They gaze at each other for a long moment before Arthur leans in and kisses Merlin, lips brushing gently, tongues barely touching. Arthur runs a finger down the side of Merlin’s face, tracing his jawline before cupping it and deepening the kiss, mouth hungry. Merlin groans.

“No, Arthur…”

“What do you mean, no? It’s been so long…” Arthur moves his palm down Merlin’s chest to cup the hardness in his pants. “You want me. I feel it,” he says into Merlin’s open mouth.

“Of course I want you!” Merlin pulls away. “But I can’t have you feeling that our relationship is nothing but sex! I have to prove to you somehow that it isn’t.”

Arthur sits panting on the couch, his dick about to dig its way through his jeans. “I know it isn’t Merlin…when I’m thinking straight.”

Merlin shakes his head and sighs. “Come on.” He motions to Arthur to follow him into the bathroom. Arthur does and watches as Merlin fills up the large tub with hot water. He strips off his clothes, and indicates that Arthur should do so as well. Then Merlin climbs in, opening his legs wide, and invites Arthur to sit between them.

The water is just this side of too hot to bear, and Arthur hisses through his teeth as he settles down. Merlin picks up the soap and a flannel that his mother had thoughtfully unpacked and begins lathering Arthur’s shoulders.

“Mmm, feels good,” Arthur tilts his head forward.

“I’ve never done this for Will,” Merlin tells him. “Never.”

Arthur thinks about that as Merlin gently lathers his shoulders and arms and then rinses them. The tub is full, and Merlin turns off the taps. Steam rises around them, and as Arthur leans back against Merlin’s chest, Merlin reaches around and soaps up Arthur’s front. As he does so, he sprinkles kisses over Arthur’s neck and ears. Arthur feels himself relaxing.

Merlin has Arthur turn over, reaching around to wash his back and buttocks thoroughly as he kisses him. “There are things I want to do to you, Arthur,” Merlin tells him breathily, “things I’ve never done to Will. Never wanted to do to him.” Arthur moans into Merlin’s mouth, clutching at his sides. Water sloshes out of the tub as they grind together and their kiss becomes filthy and wet.

Soon Merlin urges Arthur up and off, and they stumble out of the bathtub and into the bedroom, a large towel wrapped around them both. Merlin eases Arthur onto the bed, kissing him some more, telling him he loves him, only him, over and over again, until Arthur knows he finally believes it, and there’s nothing he wants more than to have Merlin inside him.

“Please, Merlin…”

“Soon,” Merlin pecks his mouth and nudges him so that Arthur turns over. Merlin spreads Arthur’s legs, urging him up on his knees, and runs his tongue up his cock from the tip to his nuts to around his anus, over and over again, in long, luxurious laps that make Arthur’s legs quiver, every time getting closer and closer to the pinched hole until Arthur is crying out with need. Merlin pulls Arthur’s hole open and puts his tongue in, wiggling it, and Arthur gasps, pre-cum dripping out of him onto Merlin’s hand. “Mmm, your arse is sweet,” Merlin murmurs, breath hot on Arthur’s tingling anus. “I knew it would be.” He continues licking, fucking Arthur with his tongue until Arthur can’t stand it anymore. “I’ve never done this to Will or any other man. Only you.”

“Please, Merlin, god almighty please, just fuck me already!” Arthur sobs.

Merlin chuckles, then kisses Arthur softly on the arse and gets to his knees. “It will be my pleasure, my dearest love.” He takes a moment to drool some saliva inside of Arthur and then arranges himself and pushes into him, and Arthur moans loudly, grabbing hold of the headboard and bracing himself as Merlin begins to thrust.

“Oh, oh, yeah. It’s been too long, too long.” Arthur is out of his head.

Merlin wraps his arms around Arthur and touches him all over as he continues to move inside him. “Never doubt my feelings for you, Arthur, please…” he shifts his hips and thrusts from a new angle. “Love you so much,” he whispers into his ear.

Sensation after sensation washes over Arthur. He’s so close, and Merlin is so perfect, fucking him so good. Merlin suddenly stiffens and cums, hips slapping against him, and Arthur still isn’t quite there yet. “Here,” Merlin shifts on the bed, breathing hard. He offers up his white, lean arse. “Finish inside me.”

Arthur doesn’t have to be told twice. He moves on shaky limbs, positioning himself. Just as he’s about to thrust into Merlin’s tight hole, something completely unexpected sends both he and Merlin toppling off the side of the bed in a crash of limbs.

“Get away from him!”

Arthur stares in stunned horror, his erection quickly wilting, as Will, who has burst in their bedroom door, points a pistol at him with a shaking hand.

“Holy shit, Will! What the fuck do you think you’re doing!” Merlin yells, scrambling to his knees on the floor.

“I’m stopping that motherfucker from buggering you, that’s what I’m doing!” Will yells, eyes wild. 

Merlin’s mouth drops open before snapping shut again. Heart hammering, Arthur tries to remember where he left his mobile. His eyes dart about the room looking for it, but it isn't there.

Will's eyes roam over Merlin and Arthur. He rubs at the bulge in his pants with his free hand. “How about coming over here and giving me some of that posh arse, Pendragon? You don’t mind, do you, Merlin?”

“What the hell?” Merlin says, staggering to his feet. “Will, put that gun down right now!”

The gun points straight at Arthur, and Will has the safety off. “Not a chance. I want a piece of him, and then I’m going to kill him. Stand back, Merlin, unless you want his brains splashed all over you.”

Merlin’s eyes dart from Will to Arthur and back to Will again. “Will, don’t talk crazy.”

“I’m not crazy!” Will shouts, and the lie in his words couldn’t be any clearer.

Arthur’s been afraid to say anything for fear of antagonizing Will, but at Merlin’s words, Will has turned the gun on Merlin, and Arthur can’t have that. “Will, stop.” Arthur gets to his feet and the pistol swings his way again.

Arthur moves a little to the right, away from Merlin. Merlin seems to take his cue and moves more to the left.

“Cut it out!” Will yells. “Keep it up, Merlin, and I’m just going to shoot the prick.”

Merlin stops, obviously believing it. Arthur believes it, too. Will looks absolutely ape shit.

“Will, come on.” Merlin coaxes quietly.” I’ll go with you. Just leave Arthur alone. You don’t want the police after you, do you? You and I can leave town together.”

Will’s eyes dart in Merlin’s direction. “Yeah?”

“Sure. Like old times.”

“But you haven’t wanted to be with me.”

The bed is still between Arthur and Will. Arthur’s wondering if he can possibly leap onto it and over and maybe jump Will and get the gun away from him. For the first time, he curses the width of his king-size mattress. How the hell did the crazy fuck get in, anyway? Had the door been left unlocked when the others left? 

How are they going to get out of this mess? Merlin is _not_ leaving with the sick fuck, that’s for sure. Not while Arthur has a breath left in his body.

“Merlin, put some clothes on,” Will orders. “Hurry up.”

Merlin again looks to Arthur, who nods.

“Don’t ask his fucking permission; just do it!” Will shouts. “Christ, did he suck your brains out your dick?”

Merlin grabs up his pants and shirt from the floor and slips them on with shaking hands, eyes constantly going from the gun to Arthur and back again.

“Good, now come here.” Will motions to Merlin with his free hand. When Merlin is within reach, Will yanks him over and puts the gun to his head, backing up towards the doorway. Arthur tenses as soon as he sees Merlin in danger, starting forward. “That’s fine, you come here, princess,” Will sneers. I want you over here anyway. On your knees.”

Arthur’s eyes meet Merlin’s, and Arthur can see the fear there—not for himself, but for Arthur. Arthur tries to convey reassurance through his gaze. He walks calmly over to Will and sinks to his knees in front of him, for all the world like he isn’t naked and helpless watching a gun being pressed to his lover’s head.

“Not so high and mighty now, are you?” Will laughs derisively. “Pretty, rich types like you think you own the world. I can’t really blame Merlin for falling for you.” Will tilts his head, gazing down at Arthur. “And you do have very rosy lips. Unzip me.”

"Oh, God. I'm sorry, Arthur, I'm sorry," Merlin stammers. 

"Don't apologize to him!" Will snaps, digging the muzzle of the gun into Merlin's temple.

Arthur reaches out, trying to still the shaking of his fingers. Merlin’s nerves have shattered, and he’s babbling rather nonsensically, trying to convince Will to let Arthur go. Arthur shuts it all out, concentrating only on lowering the zipper on Will’s pants. He will do anything he has to do to get Merlin through this situation in one piece. He considers reaching in and giving Will’s nuts a brutal twist, but he’s afraid it will cause Will to pull the trigger in reaction.

“Take it out, blondie,” Will orders, jutting his hips out invitingly.

“Just don’t hurt Merlin,” Arthur says, looking Will straight in the eyes. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

“Arthur…” Merlin whimpers. The gun presses harder against his temple.

“Take it out and put it in your pretty mouth,” Will says slowly, enunciating every word.

Arthur takes a breath, reaches into Will’s pants, and pulls out his stubby, partially hard cock. Arthur's stomach lurches and for a moment he thinks he’s going to pass out right there on the floor as a wave of dizziness passes over him. There’s an incessant buzz in his head that blocks out all noise, including Merlin’s ongoing argument with Will. As Arthur brings the blunt head to his mouth, something big, solid, and very large slams into him, pushing him backward and crushing him into the floor.

It takes several seconds for Arthur to work out that it is Will on top of him. When the weight is lifted, and Arthur can breathe again, Merlin helps him to a sitting position.

“I didn’t even know you were there!” Merlin exclaims to someone, and Arthur looks up. the room coming into focus again.

“It seems you were busy,” Uther says, placing against the wall the large board they’d used earlier to lever some of the furniture onto the truck, and staring down at an unconscious Will. “Perhaps you should call the police, Merlin.”

Merlin swallows and nods. “Are you all right, Arthur?” His eyes are wide, and he’s obviously upset.

Arthur nods. When Merlin leaves the room, Arthur looks at his father. “Where did you come from?”

“I stopped by to see your new flat,” Uther replied. “The door was ajar. Who is this ruffian I knocked out?”

“It’s Merlin’s ex-boyfriend,” Arthur tells him, standing up and looking for some clothes. When he’s got some pants on, he turns and says softly, “Thank you, Father.”

Uther sniffs. “A Pendragon gets on his knees for no man.”

***

Epilogue

_Two and a half years later_

“Hunith and I insist that you accept this as a wedding gift,” Uther says grandly, clasping his wife’s hand in his. It is June, and Merlin and Arthur have just returned from their honeymoon in Greece to find themselves standing in front of a very posh townhouse. Arthur can't stop staring at his father in _short pants._

“Don’t you like it, honey?” Hunith asks Merlin.

“Well, of course!” Merlin sputters. “Who wouldn’t like it?” He looks to Arthur. “We just didn’t expect it, that’s all.”

“We kind of liked our little flat.”

“That place is a hole in the wall!” Uther scoffs. “What about the grandchildren?”

Arthur’s eyes grow wide. “Grandchildren?” He looks at Merlin, who shrugs as if to say _don’t look at me_.

“Of course, Arthur. The little Emrys-Pendragons that will be running around. There’s no room in that flat.”

“You do realize we’re both men, don’t you, Father?”

Uther huffs. “Of course I do, Arthur, but there are other options. I’ve got brochures.”

“Juan did say he’ll be coming back from Argentina,” Merlin reminds Arthur, completely ignoring the subject of brochures. “We were lucky he extended it a year as it is.”

Arthur sighs. “Well, thank you, Father, Hunith.”

“Call me Mum, Arthur, how many times do I…”

“Sorry, sorry, _Mum._ ” Arthur kisses her cheek.

Appeased, Hunith smiles. “Join us for dinner. Gaius has made Shrimp Gumbo.” She climbs into the back of the Bentley beside Uther, who waves before telling his driver to move on.

“Looks like we’ll be relocating,” Merlin comments, looking up at the townhouse.

“Do you mind?” Arthur asks, pulling him close.

“No, it’s okay, I guess. I suppose we should go in and look around.”

Arthur nods, but they don’t move. Arthur is content. He has everything he’s ever wanted in life, and standing there with Merlin feels like a turning point in his life. They’ve been through so much, not only what happened two years ago, but all the growing they’ve done together since. It hasn’t all been easy, and what lies around the next turn, Arthur doesn’t know. What he does know is that good or bad, they now have the tools they need to get through it together. Not all couples are as lucky; Leon and Percy broke up long ago, and so did Morgana and J. B. Gwen and Lance went through a rough patch, too, but happily they now appear stronger than ever.

Uther and Hunith seem very happy together, and Arthur has come to grips with the fact that his father has mellowed in his mid-life and isn’t the same man he was when Arthur was growing up. He’s been able to forgive Uther for being such a harsh father during Arthur’s childhood and to allow Uther to forge a relationship with him in adulthood. Merlin sometimes talks about visiting Will where he’s been institutionalized in France, something that Uther graciously paid for. Arthur backs him up on this, letting him know that when he’s ready, he’ll be glad to accompany him. So far, Merlin isn’t ready, though. Hunith has visited the place twice, and reports that Will is completely delusional, although well cared for, and it would probably be best for Merlin to stay away, for it would only upset him.

After a few moments of standing on the sidewalk, lost in their respective thoughts, Arthur clasps his husband’s hand. “Shall we?” he invites, and Merlin grins at him, the same impossibly fantastic grin that hooked him in the first place, and they climb the steps to their new home together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And didn't you just _know_ Will would have a stubby dick?
> 
> If this is not the first time you've read this, you may notice some changes here. I wrote this story as a WIP and have since gone back and re-written a few things. I didn't really like Will popping out of the closet like that because, really, would he stand there and listen to Merlin tell Arthur how much he loves him, etc?


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